MY VISIT TO THE WAR MUSEUM"

 

A visit to our unique Museum at EDEN CAMP will transport you back in time to wartime Britain. You will experience the sights, sounds, even the smells of those dangerous years.

 

Please ignore the date on my snaps my camera seems to please itself what date it puts on my pics LOL!! and may I also say AOL have been a pain this week with there picture section I havn't been able to insert any at all from my holidays. At last it is working for me  today Yehhhh!!!!! ........

 

                                       EDEN CAMP  !!!!!!

 

 

 

 

ON MY WAY HOME FROM MY HOLIDAY I CALLED AT THE PLACE ABOVE,

 

AS MOST OF YOU KNOW NOSTALGIA IS A SUBJECT THAT I LOVE.

 

THINKING AND LOOKING BACK GIVES ME A FEELING I CARN'T EXPLAIN.

 

SO I INTENDED CALLING IN HERE ONE DAY BE IT SUNSHINE OR BE IT RAIN.

 

IV'E BEEN GOING TO GO FOR MANY A YEAR  BUT FOR SOME REASON NEVER GOT THERE.

 

WELL ON LOOKING ROUND IN ALL THE HUTS MANY THINGS MADE ME STARE.

 

NOT BEING BORN AT THIS TIME IT OPENED MY EYES A GREAT DEAL.

 

EVERYTHING I SAW INTRIGUED ME I HAD TO SNAP AND STEAL.

 

A PICTURE OF ALMOST EVERYTHING THOUGH SOME PLACES WERE HARD TO SNAP.

 

AS MANY THINGS WERE BEHIND GLASS WINDOWS SO I GOT THE WHOLE FLASHBACK.

 

AFTER I'D STROLLED AROUND FOR A WHILE I WENT TO THE MESS FOR MY LUNCH.

 

TYPICAL OF WHERE THE SOLDIERS ATE  AND I MET SUCH A HAPPY BUNCH.

 

OF PENSIONERS ON A DAY TRIP THERE REMINISCING ABOUT THE WAR.

 

TELLING ME STORIES OF ALSORTS AND SOME OF THE SIGHTS THEY SAW.

 

 

ALL FULL UP WE CONTINUED ON  AS  I SNAPPED TO MY HEARTS CONTENT.

 

IT TAKES FOUR HOURS TO GO ROUND ROUGHLY BUT A DAY OUT VERY  WELL SPENT.

 

THERES A TINY CINEMA INSIDE ONE HUT WHERE YOU CAN SEE A SHOW.

 

I DIDN'T SIT DOWN AS I PASSED THROUGH AS TOO MUCH TIME TO GO.

 

FOR THE SECOND SHOWING I'D MISSED THE FIRST ONE SADLY IT HAD PASSED BY.

 

WHILST STROLLING ROUND I TOOK THE SNAPS UP ABOVE  WHICH CAUGHT MY EYE.

 

BUT I'D HAVE BEEN THERE FOR A WEEK I'M AFRAID SHOULD I HAVE TAKEN THEM ALL.

 

I WAS IN THIS MUSICAL HUT OF NOSTALGIA SINGING AWAY HAD A BALL.

 

BEFORE I LEFT THE CINEMA WE ALL SANG OUT LOUD IN TUNE.

HE-HE

 

TO THIS GREAT SONG I THINK YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE MEETING AGAIN SOON.

 

  

 

   

 

  

 

   

  

CAN YOU VISUALISE  ME SINGING JAN  I WISHED YOU HAD BEEN THERE .

 

I KNOW YOU LOVE A SING SONG LIKE ME WE ARE A PAIR. HE-HE.

 

SO I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THE WORDS HERE NOW TO SING TO ME TILL NEXT TIME.

 

I HOPE YOUV'E ENJOYED THIS BIT OF NOSTALGIA HERE IN

 

                     "MY SIMPLE RHYME ".

 

 

 

 

              

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" THE LANDLORD"

    

 

 

A LANDLORD IS A PERSON WHO TAKES YOUR MONEY FAST.

 

HE SERVES A LEASE UPON YOU AND YOU HAVE A HOME AT LAST.

 

ON SIGNING YOU AGREE TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS AND RESPECT.

 

HIS PROPERTY AND THEN KEEP IT CLEAN MAKING NO DEFECTS.

 

ANYTHING ON THE PROPERTY WHICH GOES WRONG IF IT BREAKS.

 

YOU HAVE TO RING AND TELL HIM SO REPAIRS HE UNDERTAKES.

 

NOW DECENT PEOPLE SIGN THERE LEASE AND MOST THEY KEEP THERE WORD.

 

LOOK AFTER WHATS NOT RIGHTLY THIERS  AS YOU WILL HAVE HEARD.

 

SO WHY WHEN TENANTS FIND A FAULT HE DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW.

 

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES ONE RINGS THE GOING IS SO SLOW.

 

AN EXAMPLE HERE I'M TELLING YOU LAST WEEK WHEN I GOT HOME.

 

FRIDAY MORNING NO HOT WATER YES IT MADE ME MOAN.

 

TWO SUITCASES OF WASHING AND NOT A SINGLE DROP.

 

OF WATER FROM MY TAPS NO I JUST COULDN'T GET IT HOT.

 

A BROKEN BOILER WAS THE FAULT SO THE LANDLORD I DID RING.

 

ONLY TO FIND AN ANSWER MACHINE LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE AFTER THE PING.

 

IT'S EASY ENOUGH SO YES I SPOKE DOWN THE PHONELINE PLAIN.

 

LEFT MY ADDRESS AND MY NUMBER AND OF COURSE MY NAME.

 

WAITED ALL DAY FRIDAY BUT NO ANSWER DID I GET.

 

FRUSTRAITED NOW BY THE END OF THE DAY YES I WAS YOU BET.

 

MY KETTLE HAD NO BACKSIDE (BUTT) LEFT FOREVER ON THE BOIL.

 

WASHING SMALLS AND OTHER THINGS MOTHERHEN DID TOIL.

 

SATURDAY CAME AROUND AND ONCE AGAIN I RANG UP QUICK.

 

AT THE END OF THE DAY NO REPLY DON'T IT MAKE YOU SICK.

 

ON SUNDAY SAME AGAIN I THOUGHT WHAT DO I DO NOW.

 

THREE FULL DAYS OF RINGING UP I DIDN'T JUST KNOW HOW.

 

I COULD GET THE REPAIR DONE IF THE LANDLORD COULDN'T FIND TIME.

 

TO RING ME BACK AND ANSWER ME ON MY OWN LANDLINE.

 

BLOODY IGNORANT USELESS A FEW OF THE WORKS I SPOKE.

 

TO MYSELF IN ANGER BECAUSE THIS WAS NO JOKE.

 

BOILING PANS AND KETTLES CLIMBING STAIRS POOR KATH.

 

TO KEEP MYSELF NICE AND CLEAN FOR  A NICE HOT BATH.

 

MONDAY CAME AROUND AND HOW I ACHED FROM TOP TO TOE.

 

MY ANKLE NOW HAD GONE WITH CARRYING WATER TOO AND FRO.

 

SO I RANG AGAIN YES MORE EXPENCE THIS TIME TO TELL HIM THAT.

 

MY STANDING ORDERS CANCELLED FOR MY RENT YOU HEAR OLD CHAP.

 

JUST A LITTLE WHITE LIE IT MIGHT MAKE HIM SIT UP.

 

WHEN HE LISTENED TO THIS MESSAGE AS HE SIPPED HIS COFFEE CUP.

 

TUESDAY MORNING NO SUPRIZE A MESSAGE HE HAD SENT.

 

IVE ARRANGED A MAN TO CALL PM BECAUSE I NEED MY RENT.

 

MY LITTLE LIE HAD FINALLY WORKED SO OFF MOTHERHEN DID LIMP.

 

DOWN TO TOWN FOR SOME SHOPPING CLOTHES SOAKING  IN THE SINK.

 

AT 4PM A GUY RANG UP SAID HE WOULD CALL NEXT DAY.      GRRRR!!!

 

BY WEDNESDAY I WAS SHATTERED STRESSED OUT IN A BAD WAY.

 

HE DIDN'T  ARRIVE TILL THURSDAY AND  JUST AS I HAD SAT.

 

DOWN TO EAT MY HOMEMADE STEW WITH THIS I COULD HAVE SPAT.

 

WHAT A TIME TO CALL I THOUGHT SO MY LUNCH WENT TO ONE SIDE.

 

I WASN'T EATING IN FRONT OF A STRANGER NO I HAVE MORE PRIDE.

 

I ASKED HIM WHEN THE LANDLORD HAD LET HIM KNOW MY NEED.

 

HE SAID THE DAY I CALLED YOU SO I CAME ALONG WITH SPEED.

 

HOW COULD HE LIE AND TELL ME HE HAD LET HIM KNOW BEFORE.

 

I LOST MY MARBLES THERE AND THEN AND HE HEARD HOW MUCH I SWORE.

 

WELL THANX A MILLION I REPLIED AND THEN I TOLD HIM STRAIGHT.

 

HOW MANY MESSAGES I HAD LEFT AND OF MY SEVEN DAY WAIT.

 

OH! DEAR HE SAID I KNOW THESE LANDLORDS YOU ARE RIGHT MADAM.

 

THEY'LL GET AWAY WITH MURDER ANYTIME THEY CAN.

 

MY BOILERS MENDED NOW FRIENDS AND I'M NOW BACK TO THE NORM.

 

RED HOT WATER FROM MY TAP INSTEAD OF BEING LUKE WARM.

 

MY NERVES ARE CALMED BUT STILL I SAY THAT LANDLORDS ARE A FARSE.

 

BEING FACE TO FACE I WOULD HAVE SAID STICK YOUR ANSWER MACHINE UP YOUR ARSE.

 

SO IF YOU ARE A LANDLORD AND THERES MESSAGES ON YOUR LINE.

 

FLIPPING ANSWER THEM WILL YOU IF YOU READ "MY SIMPLE RHYME"    

 

 

                            

"OH FOR THE GOOD OLD SCHOOLDAYS"

 

 

          

        

 

YES I'M BACK FROM MY HOLIDAYS J/LAND BUT THIS ISN'T AN HOLIDAY RHYME.

 

I HAVN'T UPLOADED MY PICTURES  YET SO I THOUGHT I WOULD POST THIS TIME.

 

ABOUT A PHOTO  I FOUND LAST NIGHT LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE.

 

PLUS A LITTLE STORY ABOUT MY SISTER AND A LITTLE ABOUT MYSELF.

 

OH! FOR THE GOOD OLD SCHOOLDAYS AND HOW I LOVED THEM SO.

 

WHEN VERY YOUNG I LOVED THEM AND WITH EAGERNESS I'D GO .

 

EACH AND EVERY MORNING UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.

 

LOOKING FORWARD ONCE AGAIN TO ANOTHER SCHOOLDAY MORN.

 

THEN ONE EVENING SADLY TRAGEDY STRUCK WHAT  A MESS.

 

MY SISTER WHILST DOING HER HOMEWORK CAUGHT FIRE HER FLANNEL NIGHTDRESS.

 

FATHER RUSHED OVER AND GRABBED HER QUICK AND ROLLED HER IN A RUG.

 

NOT TO MAKE HER COSY NOR TO MAKE HER NICE AND SNUG.

 

BUT TO DIE OUT ALL THE FLAMES WHICH RAGED AND ENVELOPED HER SO.

 

THE AMBULANCE CAME  AND TO THE HOSPITAL SISTER  MOTHER AND FATHER DID GO.

 

WELL THE STORY GOES MY FATHERS HANDS WERE VERY BADLY BURNED .

 

A LESSON DON'T SIT WITH YOUR BACK TO THE FIRE MY SISTER QUICKLY LEARNED.

 

MY MOTHER SHE WAS ILL WITH THE SHOCK AND THE THREE OF THEM YOU SEE.

 

WERE OUT OF ACTION SO EVERYTHING HAD TO BE DONE AT THAT TIME  BY ME.

 

THIS MEANT I HAD  A WEEK OFF SCHOOL TO HELP THEM ALL BACK THEN.

 

SO FATHER SENT OFF A LETTER TO THE HEAD TO TELL HIM WHEN .

 

MOTHER FELT MUCH BETTER I WOULD RETURN TO SCHOOL ONCE MORE.

 

I WAS VERY UPSET AND SAD THEY WERE BURNED AND ALL SO VERY SORE.

 

YET STILL MY HEART WAS LONGING TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN.

 

SO I TOO WAS A LITTLE SORE BECAUSE IN MY HEART I FELT A PAIN.

 

THEN CAME A LETTER FROM THE SCHOOL I'D WON A MEDAL HE-HE.

 

TWO YOUNG LADS AND ONLY ONE GIRL OUT OF ALL THE SCHOOL  YES ME.

 

FOR PERFECT ATTENDANCE THE HEADLINES  READ JUSTICE REAPS IT'S REWARDS.

 

THIS  THE TITLE IN THE LOCAL PAPER AND A PICTURE WITH OUR AWARDS.

 

FOR NEVER BEING LATE OR ABSENT FOR THE WHOLE OF ALL THREE YEARS.

 

AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOUR YEARS IF THAT EVENING HADN'T BROUGHT TEARS.

 

SO BECAUSE I HAD ONE WEEK OFF SCHOOL TO HELP OUT AT THAT SAD TIME .

 

THIS HAD BROKEN THE FOUR YEAR ATTENDANCE BUT ALL HAD TURNED OUT FINE.

 

WELL OFF  I WENT THIS WINTERS MORNING ALONG TO MEET THE PRESS.

 

HAIR DONE UP IN THE BOUFFANT (HE-HE) IN A CANDY STRIPED WOOL DRESS.

 

FOURTEEN YEARS OF AGE I WAS AND FEELING OH! SO PROUD.

 

THAT I HAD EARNED AN ATTENDANCE MEDAL CHEERED ON BY THE SCHOOL CROWD.

 

I CAME ACROSS THE PICTURE FRIENDS FROM THE PAPER JUST LAST NIGHT.

 

AND I LAUGHED MY LID OFF AT IT WELL  DON'T I LOOK A SIGHT.   HE-HE.

 

LOOK AT THE CRAZY HEADBAND  BUT THEY WERE ALL THE RAGE.

 

PLUS THE KISS CURLS ROUND MY CHEEKS HE-HE IN THE  HEADLINES ON THE FRONT PAGE.

 

I AM HAPPY TO ALSO TELL YOU THAT MY SISTER SHE DID REAL WELL.

 

NO SCARS FROM THE BURNS HER SKIN HEALED GREAT SO EVERYTHING TURNED OUT SWELL.

 

WELL HERES THE  PRESENTATION PIC COUNCILLOR BARNES IS SAYING WELL DONE.

 

FOR NEVER BEING LATE OR ABSCENT YES MY SCHOOLDAYS THEY WERE FUN.

 

     

 

     

 

THE MESSAGE  ON THE MEDALS  NOT PLAIN AS YOU ALL WILL SEE.

 

I DIDN'T WANT MY MAIDEN NAME SHOWING I HOPE YOU ALL AGREE.

 

I WORKED HARD  AND I DID MY  BEST AT SCHOOL AND I ALWAYS SHOWED RESPECT.

 

NEVER THINKING  I'D  GET A MEDAL AT ALL NO NOTHING DID I EXPECT.

 

SO SHORTLY I WILL POST  A RHYME WITH SOME PICS FROM MY HOLIDAY.

 

UNTIL THEN I HOPE YOU ARE  ALL FEELING WELL BUT FOR NOW I WILL ONCE AGAIN SAY.

 

OH! FOR THE GOOD OLD SCHOOLDAYS I LOVED ONCE UPON A TIME.

 

EVERY DAY I LOOKED FORWARD TO GOING TO SCHOOL  AS YOU'VE READ IN

 

                                              "MY SIMPLE RHYME".

 

                          

 

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"NEVER AT HOME OF LATE"

 

     

 

 

WELL I THOUGHT IT TIME TO POST AGAIN IN BETWEEN MY BREAKS.

 

AS I'M GOING AWAY AGAIN FOLKS THIS WEEKEND FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

 

I'M NEVER AT HOME OF LATE FRIENDS I'M ALWAYS GADDING ABOUT.

 

MY CLOTHES ARE NEVER HUNG LONG ENOUGH FROM A SUITCASE IV'E BEEN LIVING OUT.

 

SO A TALE I DECIDED TO TELL YOU AND A THOUGHT THAT CAME TO MY MIND.

 

ONE WHICH I COULDN'T BYPASS AS I KNOW YOU LIKE THE OLD KIND.

 

SO I'M POSTING TODAY AGAIN QUICKLY FOLKS BUT THEN I'LL BE OFF AGAIN.

 

TOMORROW SO MISSING ONCE MORE FOR A WHILE SORRY I'M SUCH A PAIN.

 

THAT I CANNOT GET TO COMMENTING FOR WASHING AND IRONING YOU SEE.

 

EACH TIME I GET HOME THERES LOTS TO DO SO PLEASE WILL YOU FORGIVE ME.

 

WELL I BUMPED INTO AN OLD NEIGHBOUR  OF MINE THE OTHER DAY  AND SHE.

 

WAS OVER THE MOON TO SEE ME AGAIN AND SHE REMINISCED WITH ME.

 

ABOUT WHEN I WAS THE LOCAL BARMAID AND HOW MUCH FUN WE HAD.

 

SHE SAID SINCE THEN HOW TIMES HAD CHANGED AND NOW THEY ARE REAL BAD.

 

KATH WHEN WE GO TO THE LOCAL NOW THERES KNOWONE THERE WE KNOW.

 

AND MY HUBBY AND I WE OFTEN CHAT OF TIMES OF LONG AGO.

 

WE WERE ONLY SAYING THE OTHER  NIGHT  I WONDER WHERE IS KATH.

 

HOW MUCH WE ENJOYED GOING OUT THEN  AND HOW MUCH YOU MADE US LAUGH.

 

YES I REPLIED  I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN TIMES ARN'T THE SAME  TODAY.

 

IV'E MISSED MY JOB AS A BARMAID AND I'M HEARING WHAT YOU SAY.

 

PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD TO GO OUT AND DRINK LIKE THEY USED TO DO.

 

MOST OF THEM DRINK IN THE HOME NOWADAYS OR GO TO A BARBECUE.

 

BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME AS THE OLD TIMES WHEN WE WOULD GET UP FOR A DANCE.

 

POPPING OUR MONEY IN THE OLD JUKE BOX WITH  A BAG OF CRISPS IN OUR HAND.

 

OR MAYBE A PACKET OF SALTED PEANUTS TELLING JOKES BY THE SCORE.

 

WE LAUGHED AND SANG UNTIL THE NIGHT ENDED AND OUR THROATS WOULD END UP  SORE.

 

THEN CAME THE HOKEY COKEY PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT IN WE WOULD SHOUT .

 

THEN PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT OUT GALS  AND SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT.

 

YES THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY FRIEND I SAID ISN'T IT GREAT TO LOOK BACK.

 

AND THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD I'D LOVE TO GO BACK DOWN THAT TRACK.

 

WELL I HAVE BEEN THINKING LATELY I WONDER IF I COULD FIND.

 

SOME OF THE GALS AND GUYS I DRANK  WITH AND ASK THEM IF THEY WOULDN'T MIND.

 

HAVING SOME SORT OF RE-UNION IT WOULD BE THE BEST NIGHT YET.

 

IF I COULD FIND THEM  I'D GUARANTEE THEY WOULD ALL TURN UP YOU BET.

 

I SOMETIMES WISH US J/LANDERS COULD ALL ARRANGE A NICE TRIP .

 

AND SAVE AS MUCH AS WE COULD TO MEET UP AND DO A FEW TWIRLS AND FLIP.

 

THE NIGHT AWAY FANTASTIC NOW WOULDN'T THAT BE SOME FUN.

 

CHATTING TO ONE ANOTHER FACE TO FACE UNTIL THE NIGHT WAS DONE.

 

I DON'T SEE WHY WE COULDN'T DO IT  IF WE TRIED BY PHONE TO ARRANGE.

 

A MEETING PLACE CENTRAL TO WHERE WE ALL LIVED  A WEEKEND AWAY FOR A CHANGE.

 

SOMEONE TO BE THE ORGANISER  IF WE COULD RELY ON THEM .

 

TO BOOK A HOTEL WITH A  GOOD REPUTATION MAKE OUR OWN WAY THERE AND THEN . 

 

WHEN WE ALL ARRIVED WE'D BE LAUGHING AND CHATTING AND IN OUR GLORY WE'D BE.

 

A SING SONG TOGETHER OF ALL THE OLD SONGS DRESSED UP IN OUR FINERY. HE-HE.

 

EACH PRINT A SONG OUT ON PAPER AND BRING IT ALONG IF YOU LIKE .

 

I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE MUCH TROUBLE I'D STAND UP AND TAKE THE MIKE.

 

AND  INTRODUCE " THE  ZIMMER GANG CHOIR " I THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD NAME. HE-HE

 

YES I CAN IMAGINE IT ALL IN MY MIND VERY VERY PLAIN.  

 

AMERICA AND BRITAINS GOT TALENT I KNOW WOULDN'T HAVE A LOOK IN.

 

WE WOULD ALL HAVE A GOLDEN  BALL AND  TELL JASPER IT WOULDN'T BE ONE TO BIN. HE-HE.

 

A GOOD LAUGH AND A DRINK TOGETHER IF IT ONLY BE A FRUIT JUICE .

 

THEN MAYBE A TRIP ROUND THE SHOPS NEXT MORNING  BEFORE WE RETURN TO CHOOSE.

 

A GIFT TO TAKE HOME TO OUR LOVED ONES WELL WE HAVE TO KEEP THE PEACE. HE-HE.

 

THATS IF WE ALL BEHAVED OURSELVES AND ENDED UP ALL IN ONE PIECE. HE-HE.

 

BUT KNOWING ME THE  WALKING DISASTER IT MAKES ME THINK TWICE SOMETIMES .

 

 I'M SAFER ON HOLIDAY WITH ROOSTER OR SAT WRITING   " MY SIMPLE  RHYMES"  HE-HE.

 

 " KNEES UP MOTHERHEN NOT MOTHERBROWN " HE-HE !!!!

 

  

                     

 

  "  CATCH YOU WHEN I GET BACK HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL " !!!!

                

 

      

 

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" NIGHTMARE ON HELL STREET"

 

             

 

          

 

IV'E BEEN ON HOLIDAY AGAIN FOLKS AND WHAT A NIGHTMARE IT WAS.

 

THE HEAVENS THEY OPENED EACH DAY AND EVENING SO I WAS AT A LOSS.

 

JUST HOW TO SPEND MY TIME IN MY RAINCAP WATERPROOFS AND WADERS YOU SEE.

 

I'M A SUNSHINE GODESS SO THE WEATHER FOR STARTERS REALY BUGGED ME.

 

I ARRIVED AT THE HOTEL EXCITED AND WAS GREETED WITH NEWS THAT THE LIFT.

 

WAS BROKEN DOWN AND IT ALL TURNED OUT I WAS ON THE SIXTH FLOOR WHAT A SHIFT.

 

CLIMBING SIXTY  OR MORE STAIRS TO GET TO MY HOTEL ROOM.

 

WHEN I ENTERED I'D NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT MY HEART IT DROPPED WITH A BOOM !!!!!

 

THE MANAGERESS THEN CALLED OUT WE HAVE A LIFT YOU CAN USE.

 

THIS WAS THE CLEANING SERVICE STAFF LIFT SO LOTS OF US WERN'T AMUSED.

 

FOLLOW ME SHE CRIED OUT TO EVERYONE I'LL SHOW YOU THE WAY TO GO.

 

DOWN LOTS OF LONG DARK PASSAGES BINS LADEN WITH WASHING AND SO.

 

ONE LADY SHOUTS OUT IT'S LIKE THE THIRD WORLD DIRTY WITH BINS FULL OF WASTE.

 

WELL MOTHERHEN WASN'T HAVING THIS SO I KICKED UP A RUMPUS IN HASTE.

 

WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR KIDDING I SAID THE SIGHT OF THIS JUST MAKES ME SICK.

 

YOU BETTER SEND FOR AN ENGINEER TO MEND THE BROKEN LIFT QUICK.

 

WEV'E SPENT ALL OUR MOULA ON THIS HOLIDAY AND WE ALL EXPECT MUCH MORE.

 

NOT TO BE GAZING AT DIRTY BED LINEN AND FOODSTUFFS LYING ROUND ON THE FLOOR.

 

WASTE FROM THE KITCHEN ETC IT'S DISGUSTING I'M LIVID I SAID.

 

MY HEART HAD SUNK I WAS FEELING DEPRESSED IT WAS LIKE A LUMP OF LEAD.

 

THE GROUNDS WERE FLOODED AS I PEEKED OUT I KNOW THAT IF I'D HAD MY ROD.

 

AND MADE A CATCH I'M SURE I 'D HAVE SLAPPED HER ROUND THE FACE WITH RAW COD. HE-HE !

 

APOLOGIES NOT ACCEPTED BY ME I ANSWERED YOU KNEW ALL US PEOPLE HAD BOOKED.

 

AND THIS IS THE WRONG HOTEL I SNAPPED WHEN I HAD TAKEN A LOOK.

 

AT THE BROCHURE WHICH I TOOK WITH ME HOW DARE YOU TRY TO FOB.

 

ALL THESE OLD PEOPLE WITH YOUR EXCUSES MOTHERHEN SHE WILL NOT BE ROBBED.

 

IT TURNED OUT THE HOTEL WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN WAS DOUBLE BOOKED AND WAS FULL.

 

SO THEY'D PUT US ALL IN THERE PARTNER ONE WHICH WAS MISERABLE DIRTY AND DULL.

 

THE FOOD WAS AS BAD JUST TERRIBLE THE BACON AND MEAT LIKE LEATHER.

 

BY THE SECOND DAY I WAS SEATHING AND AT THE END OF MY TETHER.

 

THE PORRIDGE ETC WAS COLD AS ICE THE EGGS WERE SWIMMING IN OIL.

 

THE VEGETABLES HAD NEVER SEEN A COOKER OR EVER BEEN PAR BOILED.

 

WHAT A NIGHTMARE I TELL YOU FRIENDS THEN  TO TOP IT ALL WE FOUND OUT.

 

IN THIS HOTEL NO ENTERTAINMENT SO PLENTY GUESTS SANG LULU'S "SHOUT".

 

ON ENQUIRING THE POSITION OF THE HOTEL AND WAS IT NEAR THE BAY.

 

IT WAS MILES OUT FROM THE SEASHORE AND TO WALK THERE TOO FAR NO WAY.

 

TAXI'S WERE VERY EXPENSIVE NO COURTESY BUS GOING THERE.

 

VISIONS OF ME  GAZING OUT AT THE DOWNPOUR FROM THE SIXTH FLOOR I SWEAR.

 

MY HEART IT WAS ACHING ALONG WITH ALL OTHERS THEN CAME A TEXT ON MY PHONE.

 

FROM MY SON MY BEST FRIENDS HUBBY HAD DIED SUDDEN SO I WISHED I WAS GOING HOME.

 

WELL HEARTBROKEN I JUST CRIED AND CRIED AND THOUGHT WELL I MUST NOW TRY.

 

AND MAKE THE BEST OF WHATEVERS TO BE  NOTHING WILL CHANGE IF I CRY.

 

SO IV'E WRITTEN A LETTER WELL MORE OF A BOOK FRIENDS OF COMPLAIN TO THE COMPANY TODAY.

 

AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO CONTACT THE PROGRAM "HOLIDAYS FROM HELL" LET ME SAY.

 

THIS WASN'T SOME CHEAPY HOLIDAY AND  THERE NOT RIPPING MOTHERHEN OFF.

 

SO SORRY I'M BACK WITH YOU MOANING AND GROANING BUT I THINK IV'E REASON TO SCOFF.

 

WASN'T I GLAD WHEN  ON HOME GROUND AT LAST THE WEATHER WAS FINE.

 

NOW I'M BACK ONCE AGAIN BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW OFTEN WRITING "MY SIMPLE RHYMES".

 

                

      "  I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL I HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL!!! "

                                      

        

                                       

 

 

                            

"WAKEY WAKEY"

 

 

     

              WAKEY WAKEY!!

 

I WAS FEELING MUCH BETTER TUESDAY FRIENDS SO SOME GARDENING TO

DO I THOUGHT.

 

I HAD LEFT IT FOR OVER A WEEK NOW SO I REALY THOUGHT THAT I OUGHT.

 

SO I'M TRYING ANOTHER POSTING TODAY THANKYOU FOR ALL YOUR TIPS .

 

AND SUGGESTIONS ON MY GLASSES PROBLEM HAVE YOU GOT ANY FOR FAT LIPS.

 

COS I TROD ON MY GARDEN RAKE ACCIDENTLY  AND UP CAME THE RUDDY STAKE.

 

IT HIT ME A BULLS EYE ON FOREHEAD AND MOUTH TO MAKE SURE I WAS WIDE AWAKE.

 

I PICKED UP THE RAKE FRIENDS AND  THREW IT THE LENGTH OF THE FLIPPING LAWN.

 

SWEARING AND CURSING I FELT QUITE DAZED NOT KNOWING IF NIGHT TIME OR DAWN.

 

MY MOUTH IT STARTED TO THROB AND ACHE SO I WENT INDOORS TO LOOK.

 

GOODNESS ME A PAIR OF  CAR INNERTUBES FROM A MOTORISTS BOOK.

 

           

   

 

I GRINNED IN THE MIRROR TO CHECK TO SEE IF ALL MY TEETH WERE INTACT.

 

THANK GOODNESS THEY WERE BUT A LUMP LIKE AN EGG ON MY FOREHEAD WAS NOW THERE IN FACT.

 

IT EVEN CAUGHT MY LEFT BREAST AS IT FLEW UP SO I FEEL I'VE BEEN IN THE WARS.

 

SORE EYE SORE NOSE TWO FAT LIPS SORE BREAST NOT MENTIONING ALL OTHER FLAWS.

 

MY MIND THEN TURNED TO THE ROOSTER AS THIS WEEK HE BOUGHT ME A STRIMMER.

 

NO FEAR I AM NOT USING THAT NOW OR THINGS MIGHT END UP MUCH GRIMMER.

 

KNOWING MY LUCK I'D PROBABLY END UP STRIMMING MY TOES OFF BOTH FEET.

 

INSTEAD OF THE LONG GRASS AT THE EDGES TRYING TO MAKE IT NEAT.

 

SO IT LOOKS LIKE SOLITARY CONFINEMENT AGAIN I CARN'T GO OUT LOOKING LIKE THIS.

 

FOLKS WILL THINK I HAVE FELL FROM THE SKY OR KEELED OVER COMING HOME P------ HE-HE.

 

I CARN'T SAY HOW I AM MANAGEING TO LAUGH AS I'M FEELING SO LOW.

 

EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WRONG AM I ROTTING I REALY DON'T KNOW.

 

WELL ANYWAY I HAVE DECIDED I'M SURELY NOT GOING TO BE BET.

 

SO IV'E SHOOK  MY FEATHERS THIS MORNING  FOLKS RELAXED AND I'M READY TO GET.

 

BACK READING AND COMMENTING AND THE GARDEN IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT.

 

BECAUSE TRYING A BIT OF GARDENING I HAVE ENDED UP IN A  WORSE STATE.

 

I WAS TOLD IN MY EARLY DAYS OF J/LAND I WAS A WALKING DISASTER.

 

IT'S A WONDER MY BODY ISN'T ALL COVERED FROM TOP TO TOE IN PLASTER .

 

SO THE RAKE IS IN THE DOG HOUSE NOW AND THE STRIMMER I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

 

THE GREEN GRASS  IS WET THROUGH IT'S POURING DOWN SO I'LL JUST IGNORE LET IT GROW.

 

IV'E A PLASTER ACCROSS THE BRIDGE OF MY NOSE SO MY GLASSES CANNOT RUB.

 

THE BRUISE ON MY HEAD IS COVERED IN  MARGARINE IV'E RUBBED ON FROM THE TUB.  HE-HE

 

MY MICK JAGGER RUBBER LIPS  WILL GO DOWN GIVEN A LITTLE TIME.

 

SO I THINK I AM BETTER OFF SAT AT THE POOTER WRITING " MY SIMPLE RHYMES"  HE-HE.

 

 

                  

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"GONE AGAINST DOCTORS ORDERS"

 

       

           

                                  

 IV'E GONE AGAINST DOCTORS ORDERS DOING THIS POST TODAY.

 

DON'T GO ON THE COMPUTER WAS ONE THING HE HAD TO SAY.

 

YOU SEE I HAVE A BAD EYE MY FRIENDS NO I HAVN'T BEEN IN A SCRAP.  HE-HE

 

IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE AND ALSO I HAVE A SORE NOSE LAUGHING KATH.

 

FIRST LET ME SAY I'M  ALERGIC TO METAL AND SO THATS WHY MY NOSE.

 

IS REALY SORE FROM WEARING MY SPECS FOR READING AND WRITING MY PROSE.

 

THE TINY BITS WHICH REST ON THE NOSE ARE METAL SO PROLONGED USE.

 

OF MY GLASSES MAKE THE LUMP ON MY NOSE AND IT'S INFLAMED AND I'M CONFUSED.

 

AS IV'E BEEN TO SEE THE OPTICIAN AND HE CARN'T FIND ANYTHING WRONG .

 

WITH MY EYE NOR HAS THE DOCTOR YET IT'S GLAZED ALL THE TIME AND STINGS STRONG.

 

SO DOC HAS INFORMED THE HOSPITAL AND I NOW JUST HAVE TO WAIT.

 

FOR AN APPOINTMENT THROUGH THE POST MY FACE IT LOOKS A RIGHT STATE.

 

I'M TRYING NOT TO WEAR MY GLASSES MUCH BUT THEN THE HEADACHES COME BY.

 

A GAMMY NOSE AND FEEL BLIND AS A BAT WITH ONLY THE USE OF ONE EYE.

 

WHAT A  PERFORMANCE I TELL YOU TODAY I WAS HAVING A GO.

 

AT OPENING A SMALL PLASTIC WALLET TO PUT MY PHONE CARD IN SO.

 

I WOULDN'T LOSE IT AND TRY AS I MAY I COULDN'T ALL EFFORTS FAILED.

 

WHEN MY DAUGHTER CALLED  AND I TOLD HER SHE JUST STARTED LAUGHING AND WAILED.

 

MUM YOU WON'T GET YOUR CARD IN LIKE THAT THE REASON IS YOU SEE.

 

YOU ARE TRYING AND THE WALLET IS UPSIDE DOWN THERES NO OPENING THERE. HE-HE.

 

WELL LIKE I SAID I'M BLIND AS A BAT WITHOUT MY SPECS FOR CLOSE WORK.

 

WHEN SHE TOLD ME I CRACKED UP LAUGHING I FELT A RIGHT SILLY BURK.

 

I DECIDED TO PUT A PATCH ON MY EYE WHILST I TYPE THIS POST.

 

AND A PLASTER IV'E STUCK ACCROSS MY NOSE I MUST SAY I LOOK THE MOST HE-HE.

 

I HAVE TRIED TO READ A FEW BLOGS NOW AND THEN BUT ONLY ABOUT SIX A DAY.

 

I'LL TRY AND GET BACK TO COMMENTING AS SOON AS I CAN SO PLEASE PRAY.

 

MY EYE GETS BETTER AND NOTHINGS TOO SERIOUS AND ALSO MY NOSE DOES HEAL.

 

IF THE NAIL VARNISH COVERS THE METAL UP AND I DO LIKE THEM RED THEY APPEAL.

 

AS IV'E TAKEN A TIP MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE PAINTED MY GLASSES RED.

 

THE OPTITIAN SUGGESTED I TRY THIS WELL THIS IS WHAT HE SAID.

 

HE KNEW OF MANY WHO'D DONE THIS TRICK AND IT HAD WORKED REALY FINE.

 

SO IV'E TAKEN HIS RECOMMENDATION  THERE NOT PERFECT BUT WILL BE WITH TIME.

 

I HAVE HAD TO PAINT THEM IN MY SUNGLASSES THE FRAMES YOU SEE ARE SO THIN.

 

THEY HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER COAT YET AND THEN I SHALL CLEAN ALL THE RIM.

 

SO THATS WHY I HAVN'T BEEN ONLINE I AM TRYING TO OBEY THE DOC.

 

AND TRYING TO GET RID OF THE LUMP ON MY NOSE  IT'S LIKE A GREAT BIG RED SPOT.

 

RESTING THE EYE AS WELL MY FRIENDS AND I MUST SAY THERE SIMPLY IS NOT.

 

MUCHI CAN SEE WITHOUT THEM SO I CANNOT DO A GREAT LOT.

 

SO TAKE CARE I'M THINKING OF YOU ALL FOR NOW AND IN THE MEANTIME.

 

I'LL PLAY BLINDMANS BUFF AND TRY KEEP WRITING THE  ODD POST OF " MY SIMPLE RHYME ".

 

        

         

 

                               KATH

 

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