"YOUVE DONE A GOOD JOB"

I SET MYSELF A TASK SOME DRAWERS TO REMOVE.

FROM MY OLD KITCHEN  I WANTED TO PROVE.

THAT I COULD DO  BETTER THAN MANY A MAN.

THEN WHEN FRIENDS CALLED ROUND I WOULD SHOW THEM MY  PLAN.

YOUVE DONE A GOOD JOB THERE! THEY'D SAY "WAS IT HARD".

OH! NO! I'D REPLY BUT I WERN'T ON MY GUARD.

YOU SEE THEY WERE NAILED DOWN WITH LONG ONES SIX INCH.

SO I TOOK UP THE CROWBAR AND THOUGHT WHAT A SINCH.

I PULLED AND I TUGGED BUT THEY STILL WOULDN'T FREE.

SO I GOT DOWN BELOW ON MY BENDED KNEE.

FIRST TO THE LEFT AND THEN TO THE RIGHT.

MY FRIEND WATCHING ON THINKING OH! WHAT A SIGHT.

SHE'S LOOKING CONCERNED AND SAYS CAN I HELP?

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I LET OUT A YELP.

Oh! DEAR!  SHOUTS MY FRIEND WHATEVERS GONE WRONG.

IS IT THE NAILS THAT ARE FAR TOO LONG.

NO! NO! I REPLIED LOOKING ALOOF.

IV'E  NUTTED THE WALL AND SMASHED OUT MY TOOTH.

SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME UNTIL I TURN ROUND.

FRONT tOOTH IN  HAND NOT MAKEING A SOUND.

MY FRIENDS IN HYSTERICS SHE SHOUTS OUT "MY GOD".

IT'S THE DRAWERS YOU WANT OUT,

NOT YOUR TOOTH YOU DAFT SOD.

I KNOW I REPLY BUT BEGGAR THE TOOTH.

I'LL FINISH THE JOB TO GIVE THEM  SOME PROOF.

THAT A WOMEN CAN DO IT I REALY  INSIST.

THEN I'LL GET ON THE BLOWER AND RING THE DENTIST.

A BIG EMPTY GAP WHEN I GO TO MY  WORK.

EACH TIME I DO SMILE I'LL LOOK A RIGHT BURK.

SO NEXT TIME I SET MYSELF AN HARD TASK.

I'LL GET ALL GEARED UP IN A STAINLESS STEEL MASK.

AND THEN WHEN IV'E FINISHED I'LL LOOK JUST THE SAME.

NOT TOOTHLESS  PUFFED LIPS AND ALL FULL OF PAIN. 

PS. THIS IS ACTUALLY A TRUE STORY.LOL!!

"TRY KEEP IT CLEAN"

Crisp packets cans and  paper the lot.

Scattered around on every plot.

Wherever we walk on our streets today.

Waste everywhere what can one say.

This generation are getting so bad.

I'ts very worrying and oh! so sad.

Our towns are disgusting with rubbish galore.

They just throw it down and around on the floor

I've been quite concerned about this recently.

And the problem gets worse for all to see.

If only they'd give the subject a thought.

And place it in bins for the council to sort.

It wouldn't take up much effort or time.

To place in thier pockets that would be fine.

They could then disgard it when passing a bin.

Not throw it away on the floor with a grin.

The streets look appauling all over the place.

It brings me much saddness, puts frowns on my face.

I'm sure you'll agree that without this waste.

Lying around so lazily placed.

Our towns would look nicer and more healthy too.

As rubbish brings vermin and deceases  true.

Wev'e got to get down to this problem i'm sure.

It looks so third world like and ever so poor.

Rats running round everywhere we now see.

They'll cross over gardens while eating our tea.

They'll bE IN OUR HOMES AND WILL YOU LIKE THAT.

SOME ARE AS BIG AS MY NEXT DOORS CAT.

WE WILL SEE EPEDEMICS OF WEASLES DESEASE.

SO PICK UP YOUR RUBBISH I DO ASK YOU PLEASE.

IT'S NOT JUST THE YOUNG ONES TO BLAME FOR IT ALL.

SOME ADULTS HOARD RUBBISH OUTSIDE LARGE AND SMALL.

LEAVING IT THIER FOR MONTHS AT A TIME.

THE LAW SHOULD FINE THEM AS IT BEING A CRIME.

WE ALL KNOW THE COUNCIL COLLECT IT FOR FREE.

SO PICK UP THE PHONE AND RING THEM I PLEA.

LETS GET OUR STREETS AND TOWN LOOKING CLEAN.

AND SPOTLESS AGAIN A NICE SIGHT TO BE SEEN.

IF THE RATS GET NO TIT BITS AND THINGS TO CHEW ON.

IT WOULDN'T TAKE LONG BEFORE THEY'D BE GONE.

SO DON'T THROW YOUR RUBBISH AROUND ON THE FLOOR.

LETS HAVE ALL OUR STREETS SO TIDY ONCE MORE.

WE'LL THEN HAVE A TOWN TO BE PROUD OF AGAIN.

AND MY RHYME WILL HAVE NOT BEEN WRITTEN IN VAIN.

"A JOB THAT I LOVE"

Today I'm about to undertake.

A job that I love I'm going to bake.

Get out ingrediants  and paper cases.

My currants to make  some gingerbread faces.

I'll need the ground rice and coconut too.

My colouring agents pink and blue.

Milk and sugar flour and cream.

Eggs and jam and some margarine.

Rolling pin tart cutters bakeing bowl.

Almonds chopped up or maybe whole.

Fruit sliced up and washed and dry.

For a nice large family apple  pie.

Scrub down the worktop before I start.

First to make a large plate jam tart.

Whisk up the eggs for the fairy cakes.

To top with coconut like snowflakes.

When baked and cooked in the oven red hot.

I'll ice them and place a cherry on top.

Roll out my pastry to now cut in rings.

Musn't forget to grease the tins.

Rub together marg  sugar and flour.

For hot buttered scones to taste in an hour.

Chop up some bacon tomato and cheese.

Add eggs  fresh  cream and i'll make a nice quiche.

Gather the bits left over dont waste.

The birdtable calls for all to taste.

All cooled down on the bakeing rack.

Get out the boxes to gently pack.

I'll freeze some of them so they don't go off.

Then when company calls they'll have plenty to scoff.

Utensils washed up and all put away.

I'm ready now for next bakeing day.

The goodies  stacked  high in wall unit  above.

Today i've enjoyed doing "A JOB THAT I LOVE".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DON'T TELL ME.

Get out the polish and dusters galore.

Scrub down the walls and polish the floors.

Empty the bin and wash all the pots.

Jobs never ending a woman finds lots.

Get out the vacumn and washbasket too.

When Iv'e done that, I'll go clean the loo.

Then thiers the windows, and beds to arrange.

What I would give for a blooming good change.

It's half past eleven and time to make lunch.

Peel the potatoes and then bake some crunch.

Hang out the washing and iron some more things.

When Iv'e done that I'll take off my rings.

To go weed the garden and tidy the shed.

When 2'o'clock comes ,I FEEL ALMOST DEAD.

But I must carry on even tho I could drop.

But I carn't, as  I now need to go out to shop.

Soon 4pm nd It's time to make tea.

One time for 6,but now It's just me.

And when tea is over not everythings done.

I carn't settle down and sit on my bum.

Iv'e to clean down the oven makeing It shine.

Ready again for another tea time.

Now Iv'e to sew on a button or two.

On my winter coat to keep out the flu.

Stitch up some trousers, soon It Is nine.

By then yes! youv'e guessed Its my lovely bath time.

I'll go have a soak then  a nice cup of tea.

Don't tell me you men!! work harder than me.

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!