"FOLLOW ME"

COME WITH ME SHOUTS THE HAPPY CLOWN.

WE'VE BROUGHT A CIRCUS TO YOUR TOWN.

LIONS GIRAFfES AND MONKEYS TOO.

WHO ARE WAITING TO SHOW SOME TRICKS TO YOU.

BALLOONS STREAMERS AND ICE CREAM CONES.

ELEPHANTS SENDING OUT LOUD GROANS.

FOLLOW ME CHILDREN DOWN THE LANE.

HURRY BEFORE IT BEGINS TO RAIN.

JUGGLERS ACROBATS DOING THIER TRICKS.

CANDY FLOSS ALL COLOURS ON LONG STICKS.

COME ON COME ON HURRY ALONG.

HOP SKIP AND JUMP AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG.

SEATS GALORE FOR ONE AND ALL.

OLD AND YOUNG BIG AND SMALL.

BRING MUM AND DAD AND GRANDMA TOO.

TO SEE THE LAUGHING KANGAROO.

TIGERS LEAPING THROUGH HOOPS OF FIRE.

MONKEYS SWINGING ON BYCYCLE TIRES.

LADIES RIDING ON HORSES SO WHITE.

BALANCING ARTISTS ON ROPES PULLED TIGHT.

YOU'LL ALL HAVE A WODERFUL DAY FUL OF FUN.

"FOLLOW  ME" TO THE CIRCUS,BEFORE THE DAYS DONE.

 

"NEXT TIME ROUND"

I'M SOON TO DRAW MY PENSION.

I SOON MAY HAVE A STICK.

I CAR'NT BELIEVE HOW QUICK ITS GONE.

DUNT IT MAKE YA SICK.

I'D LIKE ONE OF THOSE SCOOTERS.

 FOR FLYING ROUND THE TOWN.

YOU KNOW THE ONES THAT PENSIONERS DRIVE.

THAT MOW YA FLIPPING  DOWN.

IV'E SENT OFF ALL MI FORMS AND STUFF.

FOR BUS PASS AND THE LIKE.

BUT IF I'M NOT ALLOWED ENOUGH .

I'LL HAVE TA GET A TRIKE.

COS THESE LEGS OF MINE ARE K--------.

THEY GO JUST WHEIR THEY WANT.

AND HERE YOU'LL SEE BIG LETTERS .

COS I CANNOT SEE THE FONT.

MY EYES HAVE GONE SO QUICKLY.

MY EARS HAVE HAD THIER DAY.

NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME .

THAT I'M IN A REAL BAD WAY.

ARTHRITIS IN MI FINGERS.

 KNEES AND TOES AND NECK.

AM DREADING GOING TO SEVENTY.

WHEN MI TEETHS GONE FLIPPING HECK!!

WHAT CHANCE HAVE I OF ANYTHING.

LOOKING JUST LIKE THIS.

IVE A FEELING BEST THING I SHOULD DO .

IS GET OUT ON THE P---.

BUT THEN AGAIN NOT LIKELY.

AS MI LEGS THEY JUST WONT JIG.

AND AL HAVE TA SAVE MI COPPERS.

TA BUY MI SEN A WIG.

FORGOT TO SAY MI HAIRS DROPPED OUT.

AND MI BOOBS ARE QUITE A FLOP.

MI WAISTLINES NIL MI BUMS THAT BIG.

NOWT FITS MI WHEN I SHOP

WHERE IS MY FAIRY GODMOTHER.

I NEED TO ASK HER PLEASE.

TO GIVE ME BACK MY BRAIN I PLEA.

COS IT'S GOT MORE HOLES THAN CHEESE.

BLIND DEAF DUM AND SENILE.

MY SPEACH IS PRETTY GRIM.

BUT I'M THANKFUL FOR SMALL MERCY'S

I DON'T HAVE TO SHAVE MY CHIN.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH BETTER.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH WORSE.

SO I THANK GOD EACH PASSING DAY.

FOR THE GIFT OF VERSE.

US WOMEN GET IT ALL YOU KNOW.

CHILDBIRTH CHANGE AND SUCH.

DON'T MAKE ANY WONDER.

IV'E GOT A DROOPING CRUTCH. 

SO NEXT TIME ROUND I PROMISE YOU. 

I'LL BE A MAN I THINK.

THEY HAVE THE LIFE OF RILEY

ALL THEY DO IS BLINK.

OR MAYBE AS A BUMBLE BEE.

AS I HAVE JUST KEPT TRACK. 

OF ALL THE ONES THAT HAVE STUNG ME.

THEN I CAN STING THEM BACK  LOL!!

 

"THE OLD CORNER SHOP"

SHE'S OFF ONCE AGAIN her  TROLLEY TO PUSH.

JUST STROLLING ROUND  NOT IN ANY RUSH.

IN GOES THE DAZ OR WILL IT BE SURF.

SHE DOESN'T SEEM BOTHERED HOW MUCH IT'S WORTH.

ON TO THE TINS NOW TO PICK UP SOME CURRY.

BEANS PEAS AND SOUP,STILL NOT IN NO HURRY.

THE TOILETRY ISLE IS JUST OVER THIER.

SHE SLOWLY WALKS ROUND GETS A RINSE FOR HER HAIR.

SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER,MAYBE SOME SPRAY.

THEN OUT OF DATE TABLE FOR BARGAIN OF DAY.

ON TO THE FISH NOW TO GET SOME NICE TROUT.

CHILD PICKS UP SWEETIES ,HURRAY HE DOES SHOUT.

ROUND TO THE NEXT ISLE TO GET SOME CORNFLAKES.

DOWN TO THE BAKEING TO PICK UP SOME CAKES.

SPIRITS  QUITE TEMPTING GIN RUM AND  SHERRY.

CHRISTMAS IN MIND TO MAKE HER GUESTS MERRY.

BRAZILS AND SOME WALNUTS SHE MUSTN'T FORGET.

GELLATINE FOR FLANS TO MAKE SURE THEY SET.

CURRANTS AND RAISINS CHERRIES AND  DATE.

TEABAGS  AND  BISCUITS  AND WHITE COFFEEMATE.

DON'T FORGET BUBBLE BATH FACECLOTH AND SPONGE.

BLEACH AND SOME MOUSSE TO CLEAN OFF THE GUNDGE.

TROLLEY GETS HIGHER RIGHT TO THE TOP.

SHE'S NOW JUST REMEMBERED SHE NEEDS A NEW MOP.

THEN MOVES TO MEAT  NICE SHOULDER OF LAMB.

ON TO THE HARDWARE  A NEW FRYING PAN.

A FEW CHICKEN LEGS AND A BARBEQUE GRID.

WHEN SHE GETS TO THE CHECKOUT SHE'LL NEED HUNDRED QUID.

OH! WHY DON'T THEY CLOSE THESE LARGE SUPERSTORES.

AND BRING BACK "THE OLD CORNER SHOP" JUST NEXT DOOR.

THESE  STORES  ARE JUST MAKEING HER POORER EACH DAY.

BRING BACK THE "PLEASANT AND SMALL" DOWN OUR WAY.

SHE'S GOT TO THE TILL NOW AND POPS IN  HER CARD.

 SHOUTS OH! I NEED CD'S .OF  MUSIC  IV'E HEARD.

HER BANK'S  OVERDRAWN RIGHT OVER THE TOP.

BUT NOT WHEN SHE SHOPPED AT  "THE OLD CORNER SHOP".

 

 

 

 

 

"MY VISITOR"

I arrived home one evening,around about eight.

Thought I'd leave early from friends not too late.

When i entered the door, I scensed something wrong.

Inner doors were ajar,so It didint take long.

To dash to the kitchen as fast  As could be.

Yes just as I thought kitchen window forced free.

The visitor had called to my dismay.

I knew this would happen I seemed to say.

Why do they enter our homes when we're out.

Thev'e no right to snoop and wander about.

If they needed some money or other good things.

Why burgle when knowing my front doorbell rings.

If they are so brave then why don't they ask.

Not break In so cheeky,gloves stocking or mask.

If only they realised what harm that they do.

To peoples lives just makeing us blue.

Searching through cuboards drawers and the like.

Bagging up everything they see In sight.

I gave up my home for these mindless sluts.

Who have no heart or have no guts.

Thier sick and weak with certainly no bottle.

What they realy wants a real good throttle.

But one day I'll find out who visited me.

When I went out visiting for my tea.

And when I do it's woe betide them.

They'll have to face up  to a few policemen.

Who are hopeing and waiting for just the right time.

To send these sick culprits right down the line.

But now Iv'e got back a great peace of mind.

Cos Iv'e moved well away from The thieving kind.

SO next time I visit my friends for tea.

These thieves will be under lock and key.