I LOOKED OUT THIS MORNING EVERYTHING WAS WHITE.
WE'D HAD A CRUEL FROST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
A GUY WAS HAVING PROBLEMS STARTING UP HIS CAR.
AND I COULD TELL BY LOOKING HE WASN'T GOING FAR.
HIS LADY FREIND OR WIFE WAS STOOD THERE LOOKING ON.
THEY WERE STRANGERS SO I WONDERED WHERE THEY WERE FROM.
HAD THEY BEEN WALKING ALONG THE BEACH AT ALL.
AS IN THE BACK SEAT WAS A DOG ONLY SMALL.
I STOOD THERE AND WATCHED AS HE WAS MESSING ABOUT.
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE BEGAN TO SHOUT.
I KNEW THIS FLIPPING WRECK WOULDN'T GO VERY FAR.
WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN IT'S A HEAP OF JUNK THIS CAR.
WELL I WAS ASTONISHED I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS.
SHE LOOKED A RIGHT ROUGH TYPE BUT I WAS IN TEARS.
WITH LAUGHTER AT THESE TWO I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
I'M NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO USUALLY WATCHES MORE.
BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T HELP IT THE CAR MADE SUCH A DIN.
AND SHE WAS LIKE A FOG HORN RANTING ON AT HIM.
BAREING IN MIND I DON'T SLEEP VERY WELL.
I'D NOT LOOKED AT THE CLOCK BUT EARLY I COULD TELL.
EVERYONE ASLEEP AND THE OTHER HOMES AROUND.
WERE ALL STILL IN DARKNESS AND NOT A SINGLE SOUND.
EXCEPT FOR THIS CHUGGING NOISE AND HER YELLING OUT.
RING YA FLIPPING MATE THEN SHE GAVE ANOTHER SHOUT.
OH!! SHUT YA FACE UP WOMAN YOU ARE NOWT BUT A NAG.
THEN SHE SWUNG AND SHE HIT HIM ROUND THE HEAD WITH HER BAG.
I WAS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH MY NEIGHBOURS NOT TO WAKE.
THINKING OH! DEAR PLEASE BE QUIET FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
THE DOG WAS JUST SAT QUIETLOOKING OUT AT THE TWO.
WHEN SHE YELLED OUT AGAIN AND I'M GETTING RID OF YOU.
I WASN'T QUITE SURE IF SHE MEANT THE DOG OR HIM.
WHEN SHE YELLED OUT AGAIN OH! I'M GOING FOR A SWIM.
DON'T TALK FLIPPING STUPID WOMAN YOUR OUT OF YOUR MIND.
I'M GETTING IN THE CAR SO YOU GET BEHIND.
GIVE ME A PUSH WHEN I SHOUT OUT RIGHT.
I CARN'T ASK ANYONE ELSE THERE'S KNOWONE IN SIGHT.
I'M STILL STOOD AT THE WINDOW LOOKING THROUGH MY BLIND.
WHEN SHE BENDS DOWN AND PUSHES FROM BEHIND.
ONLY IN THERE TWENTIES AND STRANGERS TO TOWN.
SORRY TO HAVE TO SAY THIS BUT HE LOOKED A RIGHT CLOWN.
PUSH HE SHOUTS OUT CAN YOU FLIPPING HEAR ME NOW.
THEN HE JUMPS OUT THE CAR AND SHOUTS OH! MOVE YA STUPID C - -
Oh! THE LANGUAGE WAS AWFULL THEN I SAW A BEAM OF LIGHT.
AND CRAWLING ON THE PROM WAS A POLICE CAR IN SIGHT.
HE SAW IT TOO AND SHOVES HER IN THE CAR.
SHOUTING GET YA HEAD DOWN WE ARE NOT GOING FAR.
THEY BOTH BOBBED DOWN AND HID WHILE THE POLICE CAR DROVE PAST.
THEN AFTER A FEW MINUTES THEY APPEARED AGAIN ALAS.
STILL SHE WAS YELLING VERY ABUSIVE INDEED.
WHEN HE DECIDED THEN A TOILET HE DID NEED.
HE JUST STOOD THERE NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.
AND URINATED IN FULL VEIW I WAS VERY DISTURBED.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES SHE JUST WATCHED HIM AND SAID.
I BET THE STUPID BATTERY IS LIKE YOU ALMOST DEAD.
I DON'T FLIPPING KNOW WITH SWEAR WORDS THROWN IN.
HE SHOUTED BACK MAKING MORE OF A DIN.
BY THIS TIME AT LEAST A WHOLE HOUR MUST HAVE PASSED.
HE WASN'T FIT TO DRIVE AS SHE'D SHOUTED YOU ARE GASSED.
SO I OPENED MY WINDOW AND CALLED OUT HEy! YOU!.
COULD YOU BE QUIET PLEASE THE BOTH OF YOU.
HE LOOKED UP SUPRIZED AND JUST SHOUTED BACK.
OH! GET INSIDE AND SHUT UP YA OLD BAT.
WELL ME AN OLD bAT!!!! I THOUGHT WAIT TILL I DRESS.
IF I COME OUT THERE YOU WILL BE IN A MESS.
I ANSWERED VERY STERNLY DON'T CALL ME AN OLD BAT.
MOVE ON THE PAIR OF YOU AND CLOSED MY WINDOW AT THAT.
I RANG THE POLICE AND I TOLD THEM THE TALE.
THE OFFICER HE CHUNTERED AND STARTED TO WAIL.
OH! WE HAVE KNOWONE ON DUTY AS YET WILL IT WAIT.
I'LL SEND SOMEONE ROUND LETS SEE ABOUT EIGHT.
I TOLD HIM DON'T BOTHER AS BY THAT TIME I'M SURE.
THEY'LL HAVE TAKEN THERE HOOKS AND NEVER SAID NO MORE.
I WENT IN THE BATHROOM AND GOT MYSELF WASHED.
WHEN I HEARD HIM AGAIN OH!! P-- O-- AND GET LOST.
WITH THIS I WAS LIVID AND ONCE MORE I TRIED.
SHOUTING MYSELF FROM THE WINDOW OPEN WIDE.
SHE PUT UP TWO FINGERS TO ME IN THE AIR.
AND HE ONCE AGAIN JUST STARTED TO SWEAR.
SO I HAD HEARD ENOUGH AND MY EYES THEY DID SPOT.
MY DISH OF SATSUMAS PICKED ONE UP AND TOOK A SHOT. (HA HA )
I AIMED BEST I COULD AND IT HIT THE BULLS EYE.
RIGHT ON HER NOSE AND SHE LET OUT A CRY.
IV'E NO IDEA WHY BUT SHE STARTED TO RUN.
HE GRABBED THE DOG ANDTURNED ROUND AND SPUN.
OFF LIKE A SHOT I THOUGHT HA HA ! I HAVE WON.
WITH A BOWL OF SATSUMAS WHO NEEDS A GUN.(HA)
I WAITED AND WAITED BUT THEY DIDN'T COME BACK.
WHEN LATER THE OFFICER CAME ROUND TO MY FLAT.
I SAID OH! THEY TOOK OFF I'M HAPPY TO SAY.
I DIDN'T TELL HIM WHY HA! AND HE BID ME GOOD DAY.
A PICKUP TRUCK CAME ROUND ABOUT DINNER TIME.
TOWED IT AWAY AND NOW EVERYTHINGS FINE.
SO ANOTHER DAYS OVER HOPE I'VE GIVEN YOU A LAUGH.
IN MY "SIMPLE RHYME" WRITTEN BY KATH.
WHAT AM I LIKE LOL!!!!!
