"EVERYTHING WAS WHITE".

I LOOKED OUT THIS MORNING EVERYTHING WAS WHITE.

WE'D HAD A CRUEL FROST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

A GUY WAS HAVING PROBLEMS STARTING UP HIS CAR.

AND I COULD TELL BY LOOKING HE WASN'T GOING FAR.

HIS LADY FREIND OR WIFE WAS STOOD THERE LOOKING ON.

THEY WERE STRANGERS SO I WONDERED WHERE THEY WERE FROM.

HAD THEY BEEN WALKING ALONG THE BEACH AT ALL.

AS IN THE BACK SEAT WAS A DOG ONLY SMALL.

I STOOD THERE AND WATCHED AS HE WAS MESSING ABOUT.

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE BEGAN TO SHOUT.

I KNEW THIS FLIPPING WRECK WOULDN'T GO VERY FAR.

WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN IT'S A HEAP OF JUNK THIS CAR.

WELL I WAS ASTONISHED I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS.

SHE LOOKED A RIGHT ROUGH TYPE BUT I WAS IN TEARS.

WITH LAUGHTER AT THESE TWO I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

I'M NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO USUALLY WATCHES MORE.

BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T HELP IT THE CAR MADE SUCH A DIN.

AND SHE WAS LIKE A FOG HORN RANTING ON AT HIM.

BAREING IN MIND I DON'T SLEEP VERY WELL.

I'D NOT LOOKED AT THE CLOCK BUT EARLY I COULD TELL.

EVERYONE ASLEEP AND THE OTHER HOMES AROUND.

WERE ALL STILL IN DARKNESS AND NOT A SINGLE SOUND.

EXCEPT FOR THIS CHUGGING NOISE AND HER YELLING OUT.

RING YA FLIPPING MATE THEN SHE GAVE  ANOTHER SHOUT.

OH!! SHUT YA FACE UP WOMAN YOU ARE NOWT BUT A NAG.

THEN SHE SWUNG AND SHE HIT HIM ROUND THE HEAD WITH HER BAG.

I WAS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH MY NEIGHBOURS NOT TO WAKE.

THINKING OH! DEAR PLEASE BE QUIET FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

THE DOG WAS  JUST SAT QUIETLOOKING OUT AT THE TWO.

WHEN SHE YELLED OUT AGAIN AND I'M GETTING RID OF YOU.

I WASN'T QUITE SURE IF SHE MEANT THE DOG OR HIM.

WHEN SHE YELLED OUT AGAIN OH! I'M GOING FOR A SWIM.

DON'T TALK FLIPPING STUPID WOMAN YOUR OUT OF YOUR MIND.

I'M GETTING IN THE CAR SO YOU GET BEHIND.

GIVE ME A PUSH WHEN I SHOUT OUT RIGHT.

I CARN'T ASK ANYONE ELSE THERE'S KNOWONE IN SIGHT.

I'M STILL STOOD AT THE WINDOW LOOKING THROUGH MY BLIND.

WHEN SHE BENDS DOWN AND PUSHES  FROM BEHIND.

ONLY IN THERE TWENTIES AND STRANGERS TO TOWN.

SORRY TO HAVE TO SAY THIS BUT HE LOOKED A RIGHT CLOWN.

PUSH HE SHOUTS OUT CAN YOU FLIPPING HEAR ME NOW.

THEN HE JUMPS OUT THE CAR AND SHOUTS OH! MOVE YA STUPID C - -

Oh! THE LANGUAGE WAS AWFULL THEN I SAW A BEAM OF LIGHT.

AND CRAWLING ON THE PROM WAS A POLICE CAR IN SIGHT.

HE SAW IT TOO AND SHOVES HER IN THE CAR.

SHOUTING GET YA HEAD DOWN WE ARE NOT GOING FAR.

THEY BOTH BOBBED DOWN AND HID WHILE THE POLICE CAR DROVE PAST.

THEN AFTER A FEW MINUTES THEY APPEARED AGAIN ALAS.

STILL SHE WAS YELLING VERY ABUSIVE INDEED.

WHEN HE DECIDED THEN A TOILET HE DID NEED.

HE JUST STOOD THERE NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.

AND URINATED IN FULL VEIW I WAS VERY DISTURBED.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES SHE JUST WATCHED HIM AND SAID.

I BET THE STUPID BATTERY IS LIKE YOU ALMOST DEAD.

I DON'T  FLIPPING KNOW WITH SWEAR WORDS THROWN IN.

HE SHOUTED BACK MAKING MORE OF A DIN.

BY THIS TIME AT LEAST A WHOLE HOUR MUST HAVE PASSED.

HE WASN'T FIT TO DRIVE AS SHE'D SHOUTED YOU ARE GASSED.

SO I OPENED MY WINDOW AND CALLED OUT HEy! YOU!.

COULD YOU BE QUIET PLEASE THE  BOTH OF YOU.

HE LOOKED UP SUPRIZED AND JUST SHOUTED BACK.

OH! GET INSIDE AND SHUT UP YA  OLD BAT.

WELL ME AN OLD bAT!!!!  I THOUGHT WAIT TILL I DRESS.

IF I COME OUT THERE YOU WILL BE IN A MESS.

I ANSWERED VERY STERNLY DON'T CALL ME AN OLD BAT.

MOVE ON THE PAIR OF YOU AND CLOSED MY WINDOW AT THAT.

I RANG THE POLICE AND I TOLD THEM THE TALE.

THE OFFICER HE CHUNTERED AND STARTED TO WAIL.

OH! WE HAVE KNOWONE ON DUTY AS YET WILL IT WAIT.

I'LL SEND SOMEONE ROUND LETS SEE ABOUT EIGHT.

I TOLD HIM DON'T BOTHER AS BY THAT TIME I'M SURE.

THEY'LL HAVE TAKEN THERE HOOKS AND NEVER SAID NO MORE.

I WENT IN THE BATHROOM AND GOT MYSELF WASHED.

WHEN I HEARD HIM AGAIN OH!! P-- O-- AND GET LOST.

WITH THIS I WAS LIVID AND ONCE MORE I TRIED.

SHOUTING MYSELF FROM THE WINDOW OPEN WIDE.

SHE PUT UP TWO FINGERS TO ME IN THE AIR.

AND HE ONCE AGAIN JUST STARTED TO SWEAR.

SO I HAD HEARD ENOUGH AND MY EYES THEY DID SPOT.

MY DISH OF SATSUMAS  PICKED ONE UP AND TOOK A SHOT. (HA HA )

I AIMED BEST I COULD AND IT HIT THE BULLS EYE.

RIGHT ON HER NOSE AND SHE LET OUT A CRY.

IV'E NO IDEA WHY BUT SHE STARTED TO RUN.

HE GRABBED THE DOG ANDTURNED ROUND AND SPUN.

OFF LIKE A SHOT I THOUGHT HA HA ! I HAVE WON.

WITH A BOWL OF SATSUMAS WHO NEEDS A GUN.(HA)

I WAITED AND WAITED BUT THEY DIDN'T COME BACK.

WHEN LATER THE OFFICER CAME ROUND TO MY FLAT.

I SAID OH! THEY TOOK OFF I'M HAPPY TO SAY.

I DIDN'T TELL HIM WHY HA! AND HE BID ME GOOD DAY.

A PICKUP TRUCK CAME ROUND ABOUT DINNER TIME.

TOWED IT AWAY AND NOW EVERYTHINGS FINE.

SO ANOTHER DAYS OVER HOPE I'VE GIVEN YOU A LAUGH.

IN MY "SIMPLE RHYME" WRITTEN BY KATH.

 

WHAT AM I LIKE LOL!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"HOPING ALL'S FINISHED AND FINE"

IV'E ONLY BEEN AT MY NEW ADDRESS ABOUT THE LAST EIGHT WEEK.

IT'S ALL LOOKING NICE AND COSY BUT MY BATHROOM I HAD TO COMPLETE.

I DECIDED I'D HAVE A REFURBISHMENT AROUND ABOUT NEXT MAY.

SO UNTIL THAT TIME WITH CHRISTMAS COMING UP I'D SPRUCE IT UP IN A WAY.

THE TILES WERE NEW SO I CLEANED THEM ALL AND PAINTED THE WALLS PALE CREAM.

BOUGHT ALL NEW CHROME ACCESSORIES IN THE SPOTLIGHTS THEY REALY  GLEAM.

I BOUGHT A NEW BLIND AND MADE SOME  VOILE DRAPES ADDED SOME AQUA AND PEACH.

THE FLOORBOARDS WERE NEW AND  IV'E  MOPPED THEM A THOUSAND TIMES WITH BLEACH.

I'M A BIT OF A FUSSY PERSON AND CLEANLINESS IS A MUST.

I HOPED THE  FLOORBOARDS NOW THERE  ALL DONE WON'T START  LETTING IN DUST.

SO I WENT ALONG TO SOME CARPET SHOPS A WEEK LAST SATURDAY.

TO CHOOSE SOME NICE NEW CUSHIONFLOOR TO SEE ME UNTIL NEXT MAY.

WITH MOST OF THE BATHROOM CREAM AQUA AND CHROME I NEEDED A WARM COLOUR SO.

I DECIDED THE FLOOR WOULD BE PASTEL PEACH AND THIS WOULD GIVE A WARM GLOW.

I LOOKED ALL ROUND TOWN BUT I COULDN'T FIND JUST WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

DETERMINED I CONTINUED ON PEACH CUSHIONFLOOR TO FIND.

THEN I REMEMBERED ABOUT A STORE WHICH IS QUITE EXPENSIVE AND DEAR.

BUT I HAD TO HAVE SOMETHING DOWN ON THE FLOOR BARE FLOORBOARDS NO GOOD TILL NEXT YEAR.

AT LAST I ENTERED THE FINAL SHOP PRAYING AND HOPING I'D GET.

EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED THEN ALL MY BATHROOM NEEDS MET.

LOTS OF ROLLS WERE STOOD OUTSIDE BARGAINS THAT WERE LOOSE.

BUT THERE WASN'T ANYTHING PEACHY SO INSIDE I WENT TO CHOOSE.

LOOKING THROUGH ALL THE SAMPLE BOOKS AND PRICING HOW MUCH WERE EACH.

THE COLOURS THEY WERE NUMEROUS BUT I COULDN'T FIND any PEACH.

NOTHING I SAW was THE RIGHT SHADE AT ALL TILL I SPOTTED A BOOK UP HIGH.

SCANNING THROUGH THE PAGES I GAVE OUT A HEAVY SIGH.

EXACTLY THE SHADE AND THICKNESS I SPIED THERE ONE THAT WAS RIGHT.

NOW WHERE WAS THE SHOP ASSISTANT I COULDN'T SEE HIM IN SIGHT.

THEN A GUY CAME OUT OF ANOTHER ROOM  AND SAID  THATS AN EXPENSIVE LOT.

I SAID I'M REALY NOT BOTHERED IF THE RIGHT ONE I HAVE GOT.

I'LL HAVE TO ORDER THAT ONE HE SAID,SO HE STARTED TO DO THE FORM.

WHILE HE DID THAT I WAS FROZEN SO I STOOD NEXT TO HIS HEATER SO WARM.

I ASKED HIM WHAT THE DELIVERY WAS HE SAID OH ONLY A WEEK.

IT WILL BE HERE FOR SURE NEXT FRIDAY MORN AS INTO HIS BOOK HE DID PEEK.

I SAID AS LONG AS YOUR SURE OF THAT I'LL ORDER NOW THEN AND PAY.

SO HE GOT OUT HIS CALCULATOR AND STARTED TAPPING AWAY.

AT LAST HE CAME TO A FINAL SUM AND I HANDED HIM OVER MY POUNDS.

ARE YOU HAVING IT DELIVERED MADAM OR COLLECTING IT ON YOUR ROUNDS.

I SAID I'LLSEND A FRIEND OF MINE NEXT FRIDAY AROUND ABOUT  FOUR.

HE ANSWERED THATS FINE CAN I HELP YOU NOW, WITH ANYTHING ELSE OR MORE.

I REPLIED NO THANKS I'M HAPPY WITH THAT BUT IT BETTER BE HERE BY THEN.

I THEN SAID IN A JOKING MOOD OR YOUR SHOP WILL BE  LIKE  BEDLAM.

WELL LAST FRIDAY I FINISHED THE BATHROOM WHEN SUDDENLY MY PHONE IT RANG.

HELLO SAID A VOICE IT'S THE CARPET SHOP YOUR CUSHIONFLOORS HERE HE SANG.

WHOOPEE! I REPLIED OH! THANKYOU MY FRIENDS CALLING ROUND AT FOUR.

SO I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM FOR A FINAL MOP OF THE FLOOR.

I RANG UP MY FRIEND AND TOLD HER SHE OFFERED TO GO STRAIGHT THERE.

I WAS PLEASED AS PUNCH AS I MOPPED AWAY AT THE BATHROOM FLOOR ALL BARE.

THEN I ADDED MY FINAL TOUCHES I COULD SEE MY BATHROOM COMPLETE.

RUBBED ALL THE CHROMEWORK SHINY IT REALY LOOKED A TREAT.

Br! Br!  MY DOORBELL BUZZED OUT LOUD I OPENED THE DOOR TO GREET.

MY FRIEND CAME INSIDE AND SAID WITH A SIGH KATH CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE A SEAT.

THE CUSHIONFLOORS ARRIVED OK!! BUT INSTEAD OF PEACH IT'S BLACK.

OH! I DON'T FLIPPING BELIEVE IT AND ALMOST FELL FLAT ON MY BACK.

YES THE MAN IN THE SHOP HE PUT  ON THE FORM A FOUR INSTEAD OF A TWO.

SO HE'S ASKED ME TO GIVE YOU APOLOGIES FROM HIMSELF WHEN I SAW YOU.

APOLOGIES I JUST YELLED OUT!!!  DO YOU  SEE WHAT THIS WILL MEAN.

MY COMPANY'S ARRIVINGTOMORROW AND THE BATHROOMS NOT  FINISHED BUT  CLEAN.

AND WHAT IF I FALL ON THEM FLOORBOARDS IT'S NOT GOING TO BE MUCH FUN.

WHEN I LAND WITH A BANG AND I'M STOOD THERE WITH A SPLINTER STUCK IN MY BUM.

COME ON I'M GOING TO SEE THAT MAN AND GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND.

AND I WON'T BE AS POLITE AS LAST WEEK OR AS JOLLY AND KIND.

SO OFF I SPRANG MY BLOOD BOILING INTO THE SHOP IN A RAGE.

HE WAS STOOD THERE WITH SOME SAMPLE BOOKS SHOWING THIS LADY A PAGE.

I SAID DON'T PICK OWT FROM THAT BOOK LOVE IT NEVER ARRIVES FOR A WEEK.

THEN WHEN YOU COME TO COLLECT IT THE WRONG COLOURS BEEN ORDERED WHAT CHEEK!!!!

WELL I'M HERE NOW FOR MY MONEY BACK PLEASE HE TREMBLED AND JUST STOOD AND STARED.

I WAS  JUST LIKE A RAGING BULL AND THERE STOOD ON IT'S END MY HAIR.

HE SAID OH!! LOOK I'M SO SORRY I'LL KNOCK DOWN THE PRICE BY HALF.

AND ON TUESDAY I'LL HAVE IT DELIVERED FOR YOU FREE  ON MY BEHALF.

STRAIGHT FROM  THE MANUFACTURES CAN I HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING ELSE.

I REPLIED YES I'LL HAVE IT FITTED FREE!!!  TOO INSTEAD OF DOING IT MYSELF.

HE AGREED SO I WAS SO JOYOUS BUT BE WARNED IF BY TUESDAY NOT HERE.

YOUD BETTER NOT MAKE PLANS FOR CHRISTMAS OR FOR THE FOLLOWING YEAR.

HE LAUGHED AND TOLD ME DON'T WORRY I'D ALREADY THOUGHT OF THAT.

SO I PUT IN MY PURSE THE REFUND SAID GOOD DAY AND RETURNED TO MY FLAT.

WELL NOW FOR THE MOMENT IV'E POPPED ON THE FLOOR AN OFF CUT OF CARPET I HAD.

AND I'M HAPPY WITH MY BARGAIN THINKING WHAT A GOOD HAGGLE NOT BAD!!!!

NOW BY TUESDAY I'M HOPEING MY BATHROOMS COMPLETE WITH CUSHIONFLOOR  LAID AND ALL DONE.

AND  NO VISITS TO THE HOSPITAL  WITH SPLINTERS  DUG INT MY BUM

AS JAN SAID IN ONE OF MY COMMENTS A WALKING DISASTER I AM.

WELL NOW JAN UNTIL TOMORROW  MORN I'LL TAKE CARE AS MUCH AS I CAN.

CHRISTMAS AROUND THE CORNER I'M HOPEING ALLS FINISHED AND FINE.

AND ANOTHER ADVENTURE OF KATH'S BEEN TOLD RIGHT HERE IN "MY SIMPLE RHYME".

HO!! HO!! HO!! ( it pAYS TO SAY WHAT YOU THINK)

                       WOT A BARGAIN!!!!!!!!!

                           WHOOPEE!!!!!

                     "MERRY CHRISTMAS"

                     CUSHIONFLOOR MAN .

 HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

       

   

 

 

 

"CHEERS AND ALL THE VERY BEST"

       "CHEERS AND ALL THE VERY BEST"

TONIGHT INSTEAD OF POSTING CARDS I'M SENDING OUT THIS RHYME.

TO WISH YOU ALL IN J/LAND A BRILLIANT CHRISTMAS TIME.

LOVE WARMTH AND HAPPINESS PEACE GOODWILL AND CHEER.

BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES THIS CHRISTMAS AND ALL NEXT YEAR.

ENJOY WHATEVER COMES TO YOU THROUGH YOUR OPEN DOOR.

THANK GOD FOR ALL YOUR BLESSINGS AND ALL HE SENDS AND MORE.

WHATEVER BE YOURS ENJOY IT AND MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO THE SICK.

I WILL ASK THE LORD TO BLESS YOU ALL WITH A RECOVERY THAT IS QUICK.

I'LL BE THINKING OF ALL YOU WONDERFUL FOLKS WHEN MY CRACKERS I DO PULL.

HOPE WHEN YOU RISE CHRISTMAS MORNING ALL YOUR STOCKINGS THEY ARE FULL.

I CAME TO J/LAND TO WRITE MY RHYMES JUST TO PASS THE TIME.

NEVER DREAMING I'D MEET A GROUP OF FRIENDS SO CAREING AND SO FINE.

SOMETIMES IT'S BEEN A STRUGGLE KEEPING UP  WITH ALL MY ALERTS.

BUT EVERY READ HAS BEEN PERFECT AND YOUR COMMENTS HAVE BEEN MY PERKS.

SO IV'E WRITTEN THIS RHYME TO THANK YOU FOR THE KINDNESS YOU HAVE ALL SHOWN.

YOU ARE JUST ABOUT THE BEST BUNCH OUT OF CAREING PEOPLE IV'E KNOWN.

MY RHYMES MAY NOT BE PROFFESSIONAL OR MY JOURNAL THE BEST IN LOOKS.

BUT THE WISHES I'M SENDING HERE FROM MY HEART COULD FILL A SET OF BOOKS.

SO "A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS " TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL FRIENDS.

FROM ASTORIASAND OTHERWISE  KATH MY WISHES TO YOU I DO SEND.

MILLIONS OF HUGS AND WISHES GOD BLESS YOU THIS CHRISTMAS TIME.

CHEERS!! AND ALL THE VERY BEST FROM KATH AND "MY SIMPLE RHYMES" 

(BY THE WAY THE BOTTLE IS FULL OF TONIC)

                                   HO!!  HO!! HO!! 

  PLEASE

 

DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE THIS CHRISTMAS!!!!!! 

THANKYOU DONNA FOR THIS LOVELY GRAPHIC.

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