"CHRISTMAS IS COMING"

             

          

 

LAST YEAR I WROTE A SIMILAR RHYME AROUND NOVEMBER TIME.

CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE TO THIS FOR OLD FOLLOWERS OF MY RHYME..

I HAVE ADDED QUITE A FEW NEW THINGS WHICH I HAVE NOW TO TELL.

SO I HOPE  ALL MY NEW FOLLOWERS AND OLD ENJOY AS WELL...

IT'S ABOUT WHAT I GET UP TO LEADING UP TO CHRISTMAS DAY.

SO SIT BACK AND READ ON FRIENDS  WHAT I HAVE  TO SAY.

 

" CHRISTMAS IS COMING"  AND I'LL BE GETTING FAT.

EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT A BIT OF THIS AND THAT

TEMPTATION OVERCOMES ME I CARN'T RESIST WHATS GOOD.

LIKE EVERYTHING IN THE DISH ABOVE I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD.

I'M NOT WHAT YOU CALL A DRINKER SO OFTEN I DO DRIBBLE.

WHEN I'M STUFFING IN MY MOUTH ALL THESE THINGS TO NIBBLE.

CHOCOLATE BAUBLES HANGING FROM THE CHRISTMAS TREE.

I'VE BOUGHT FOR THE CHILDREN AND AND A FEW OF THEM FOR  ME.

THE FRIDGE IS  FULL OF GOODIES WHEN I OPEN UP THE DOOR.

OH! JUST A CUBE OF  CHEESE NOW AND THEN I WANT SOME MORE.

THEN I OPEN MY CONTAINERS ALL FILLED WITH  CHRISTMAS CAKE.

GINGERBREAD MEN AND COOKIES  A VOICE SAYS GO ON TAKE.

THE TARTS AND ICED MINCE PIES ARE A DOWNFALL TOO FOR ME.

AS I LOVE THEM WITH SOME BRANDY SAUCE AND SOMETIMES CREAM YOU SEE.

SO OUT COMES MY DISH AND I POP IN ONE OR TWO.

POUR THE SAUCE OVER THEM AND IN BETWEEN I CHEW.

A FEW AFTER EIGHT MINTS  LYING THERE ON A TRAY.

I JUST CARN'T LEAVE THESE ALONE I'M EATING THEM ALL DAY.

I REALY REALY DO MAKE A GLUTTON OF MYSELF.

AND I CARN'T RESIST THE ROSES CHOCS THERE ON THE SHELF.

FANCY JARS IV'E DECORATED SCATTERED ROUND MY FLAT.

ALSORTS I'VE  PUT IN THEM ALL WHICH MAKE ME FAT.

CHOCOLATE NUTS AND SALTED  ONES ALL OF THEM AS SUCH.

I USUALLY GRAB A FEW OF THOSE SAYING  "THANKYOU VERY MUCH"  HE -HE

I'M ALSO STILL A KID AT HEART SO I DO USUALLY BUY.

A FEW SELECTION BOXES FOR THE CONTENTS TO TRY.

IN THE HALL I PLACE A TROLLEY (SIDETABLE) TO GREET ALL OF MY GUESTS.

IT'S PILED HIGH  WITH EVERYTHING IT SIMPLY IS THE BEST.

BUT YOU CAN GUARANTEE EVERY TIME I PASS IT BY.

I'LL PICK A PIECE OF THIS AND THAT TO  GIVE IT A TRY.

BY THE TIME THE FRIENDS  ARRIVE I HAVE LOTS  TO REPLACE.

YES I BET YOUV'E GUESSED ALREADY IT'S BECAUSE IV'E FED MY FACE.

NOW COMES THE WORST PART OF ALL AFTER  THAT.

I ASK THE MIRROR QUESTIONS AND IT ANSWERS  YES YOUR FAT !!

I'M TRYING TO GET READY FOR THE PANTOMINE AT NIGHT.

THEN I THINK TO MYSELF OH! YOUR NOT A PRETTY SIGHT.

I PULL THE ZIP UP ON MY DRESS AND IT  HARDLY MEETS.

I SAY DANG  THAT BLOOMING TRIFLE AND ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS TREATS.

I POP ON MY GIRDLE AND ALL THE FAT IS TRAPPED..

I CARN'T BREATH  SO I  TAKE IT OFF AND I  RELEASE THE FAT. 

I THEN FEEL SOMETHING LOOSE AND I HAVE TO ADMIT.

MY BRA STRAPS HAVE SNAPPED AND WHEN I LOOK I'VE LOST MY T- -.-

THE BEDS PILED HIGH BY NOW WITH CLOTHES OF EVERY SHAPE AND KIND.

AND NONE OF THEM WILL FIT ME SO I'M OUT OF MY MIND.

I HAVE TO RING MY FRIEND AND SAY I'M NOT VERY WELL.

SOMETHINGS GONE WRONG AND  IV'E STARTED TO SWELL.

OH!  I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT KATH DON'T WORRY TAKE  A BREAK.

HAVE  A NICE LIE DOWN FRIEND AND REST FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

SO THE PANTO IT IS OUT AND I HAVE TO NOW STOP IN.

SAYING TO MYSELF OH! WHY CARN'T I BE SLIM.

I'M MOODY AND I'M ALL DEPRESSED NOW THAT IV'E MISSED OLD JACK.

WITH HIS BEANSTALK SO I REACH FOR ANOTHER CHOCOLATE  SNACK.

I'M AT IT ONCE AGAIN YES FEEDING MY FACE.

CLOTHES ARE ALL AROUND ME ALL OVER THE PLACE.

YES CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND I'LL BE GETTING FAT.

BUT IT'S LOVELY JUST TO NIBBLE ON A BIT OF THIS AND THAT.

WHEN NEW YEAR APPROACHES I HAVE ALWAYS FOUND.

I LOOK INTO THE MIRROR AND I'M COMPLETLY ROUND.

I MAKE MY RESOLUTION TO RID THIS DOUBLE CHIN.

AND PROMISE TO MYSELF FOR THE SUMMER I'LL GET SLIM.

I MUST DO SOME EXERSIZES KICKING MY LEGS HIGH.  

TO GET RID OF THE FLABBY FAT FROM MY WOBBLY THIGHS.  HE-HE.

CARROTS  GRAPES SATSUMAS WILL BE SCATTERED ROUND THE FLAT.

A DIFFERANT KIND OF NIBBLE AND A BIT OF THIS AND THAT.

FOR NOW I WILL ENJOY IT LIKE IV'E PUT HERE IN MY RHYME.

THAT LITTLE BIT OF THIS AND THAT I LOVE AT  "CHRISTMAS TIME".

PEOPLE HERE DO GATHER AT  THE BEACH ON CHRISTMAS  MORN.

AND VISITORS FROM FROM ALL OVER ENGLAND AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.

THEY GO FOR A QUICK DIP IN THE FREEZING COLD NORTH SEA.

SO THIS YEAR THEY WILL  HAVE THE HONOUR OF MEETING ME.

IT'S A VERY OLD TRADITION THAT FOR YEARS HAS CARRIED ON.

FROM GENERATIONS PAST YOU CAN WATCH THEM  FROM THE PROM.

SO AFTER I HAVE EATEN MY BIT OF THIS AND THAT.

I'M GOING TO JOIN IN WITH THEM AND WHEN I LEAVE MY FLAT.

I'LL BE WEARING MY WARM SANTA HAT SO MY EARS ARN'T COLD. 

AND IV'E BOUGHT A NEW SWIMMING COSSY RED BRIGHT AND BOLD.

SO TRY A BIT OF THIS AND THAT LIKE ME AT CHRISTMAS TIME.

DON'T I LOOK ATTRACTIVE  HERE  IN  " MY SIMPLE RHYME "

                      TAKE A LOOK AT THIS LADIES HE-HE -HE !!!

                        .                     

   

 

"A SUPRIZE GIFT"

                         

                  

         Thankyou to Chris of Cab'sCreations for this lovely graphic

 

THE RAIN IT POURED DOWN SUNDAY SO AT HOME I THOUGHT I'D STAY.

 

NO USE WALKING ROUND IN GALES OUT SHOPPING FOR THE DAY.

 

SO I GOT SHOWERED PUT THE MEAT IN FOR OUR SUNDAY LUNCH.

 

WHEN ROOSTER BRIGHT AND BUBBLY SAID I HAVE GOT A HUNCH.

 

DO YOU MIND IF I GO OUT TO SHOP FOR WHAT I NEED.

 

THIS CHRISTMAS TIME FOR MY PRESENTS AND SO YES I AGREED.

 

WELL OFF HE POPPED AND I GOT ON WITH ALL MY USUAL WORK.

 

LOTS OF THINGS STILL TO DO I KNEW I COULDN'T SHIRK.

 

I STARTED OUT BY BUILDING UP A POST OFFICE BOX I BOUGHT.

 

YOU KNOW THE MAILING KIND YOU BUY BUT IT WAS ONE FLAP SHORT.

 

I TURNED IT THIS WAY TURNED IT THAT AND STILL IT WOULDN'T MAKE.

 

A BOX I COULD PUT GIFTS IN FLIP ME FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

 

HOW CAN ONE SEND A BOX ABROAD WHICH ONLY IT HAS THREE SIDES.

 

TRUST MOTHERHEN TO BE DEALT THIS I COULD HAVE SAT AND CRIED.

 

AS THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT TO  PARCEL IT SUNDAY.

 

TO GET IT OUT TO GO ABROAD QUICKLY ON MONDAY.

 

I DO NOT LIKE TO LEAVE THINGS  LATE AND SO WITH THIS  I WAS .

 

A VERY ANGRY MOTHERHEN THE REASON WAS BECAUSE.

 

IT MEANT ME GOING OUT AGAIN IN ALL THAT WIND AND RAIN.

 

MONDAY MORNING TO THE STATIONERS TO GET ONE JUST THE SAME.

 

HOPING THIS TIME WHEN I OPENED IT TO BUILD IT UP.

 

THERE WERE FOURS SIDES A BOTTOM AND A LID THAT I COULD SHUT.

 

WELL ANYWAY I CARRIED ON AND I WAS IN A MOOD.

 

YES MOTHERHEN SOON GETS UPSET AND THEN I START TO BROOD.   HE-HE.

 

SO WHEN THE ROOSTER HE RETURNED HE SAID WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.

 

HE CAN TELL BY A QUICK GLANCE WHEN I'M FEELING BLUE.

 

I'M VERY VERY ANGRY I  BOUGHT A GIFT BOX AND.

 

IT COST ME A NICE PENNY NOT A CHEAPY BRAND.

 

WELL IV'E JUST TRIED TO BUILD IT UP AND ONE SIDE IT'S ALL BARE .

 

HE LOOKED AT ME AS IF TO SAY I'M NOT SURE SHE'S ALL THERE.   HE-HE.

 

GO ON I SAID YOU TELL ME I HAV'T DONE IT RIGHT.

 

WELL THERE IT IS IN THE BEDROOM AND NOT A PRETTY SIGHT.

 

IT WAS ALL LOP SIDED AND LEANED OVER JUST LIKE ME.

 

WHEN IV'E HAD A GIN OR TWO AT CHRISTMAS MAYBE THREE HE-HE.

 

THE ROOSTER WAS CONVINCED I HADN'T DONE THE JOB CORRECT .

 

IT'S A GOOD JOB I CAN SOON CALM DOWN OR HE WOULD HAVE BEEN  NECKED   HE-HE.

 

WELL WHEN HE LOOKED HE SAID YOUR RIGHT YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT BACK.

 

AND ASK HER TO LOOK AT THE NEXT ONE AND UNDO THE PACK.

 

WELL I WAS CARRYING ON  CLUCKING AND GETTING ON HIS NERVES.

 

HE SAID OH HERE'S  A SUPRIZE FOR YOU AND A PARCEL HE DID SERVE.

 

UPON ME WRAPPED IN TISSUE I LOOKED AT HIM AND THOUGHT HE-HE.

 

A PREZZY BEFORE CHRISTMAS WHICH SHOULD BE UNDER THE CHRITSTMAS TREE.

 

NO IT'S NOT FOR CHRISTMAS I BOUGHT IT  FOR YOU NOW.

 

I THOUGHT IT WOULD LOOK NICE FOR DAYTIME ON THE  BREAKFAST TABLE WOW!!

 

I COULDN'T WAIT TO OPEN IT AND WHEN I DID LOOK HERE.

 

A LOVELY TABLE RUNNER WITH SOMETHING  ON SO DEAR.

 

YES THE ROOSTER STANDING  PROUD AND MOTHERHEN THATS ME.

 

STOOD THERE CALM IN FRONT OF HIM CAN YOU SEE HE-HE.

 

 

 

LOOK AT THE LOVELY LACY PART ON THE EDGES DONE IN FRET.

 

HE KNOWS I LIKE THIS KIND OF THING AND THOUGHT I HAVE TO GET.

 

THAT RUNNER FOR MOTHERHENS TABLE  SHE WILL BE AS PLEASED AS PUNCH.

 

I'LL GIVE HER IT THIS AFTERNOON WHEN WEV'E HAD OUR LUNCH.

 

WELL BECAUSE OF MY DISSAPOINTMENT WITH THE STUPID THREE SIDED BOX.

 

HE GAVE ME IT STRAIGHT AWAY BEFOREI TIED HIM IN INTO KNOTS HE-HE.

 

WITH MY CLUCK CLUCK CLUCKING AS HE SAYS HIS HEAD WOULD ACHE.

 

IF HE HAD TO LISTEN TO THAT ALL SUNDAY IT WOULD BE A BIG MISTAKE.   HE-HE.

 

SO I HOPE YOU LIKE MY TABLE RUNNER AND THE NEXT TIME WHEN I GO .

 

TO GET ANOTHER BOX FOR POSTAGE IT BETTER HAVE FOUR SIDES SO.

 

I CAN MAIL IT OFF TO SON AND FRIENDS OUT THERE IN THE USA.

 

AND I DON'T HAVE TO CLUCK ON AT ROOSTER AND HIM CROWING BACK HEY HEY !!

 

SO I'M SUITED WITH MY LOVELY GIFT AND THE ROOSTERS NOW  FEELING FINE. 

 

COS I'M NOT CLUCKING ON AT HIM ANYMORE I'M BACK WRITING  "MY SIMPLE RHYME".

 

 

 THANKYOU TO WINIVERE FOR THIS LOVELY SIGGY SHE SENT ME AS A SUPRIZE IN AN E. MAIL WOW! TWO SUPRIZES GOT TO BE A THIRD ONE  I RECKON NOW LOL!! 

 

                          WHY NOT GIVE HER A VIST SOMETIME.

 

                      

 

 

"DEAR SANTA"

 

 

 

           

                       Thanx to Donna of D'd Designs for this lovely graphic.            

 

THIS POST IS ABOUT WHAT MOTHERNHEN DID ON MONDAY OF THIS WEEK.

 

I HAD TO ATTEND  THAT DOCS APPOINTMENT  WHICH I WAITED FOR TWO WHOLE WEEK.

 

WELL IT WENT PRETTY GOOD AND I WAS SO HAPPY RELEAVED AND PLEASED AT THAT.

 

AS I HATE TO BE MISERABLE WORRYING  ABOUT THINGS I LIKE BEING  A LAUGHING KATH.

 

IT'S THE FIRST OF DECEMEBER TOMORROW SO I THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE A QUICK START.

 

HOPING AND PRAYING HE WILL BRING ME THEM ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

 

YES I POSTED MY LETTER TO SANTA I KNOW HE MIGHT  RAISE HIS BROW.

 

I HAVE FAITH HE WILL TRY HIS HARDEST SO I'LL SIT BACK AND WAIT A WHILE NOW.

 

 

 

 

WHEN HE RECEIVES IT AND READS IT THERES SO MANY THINGS FOR  IV'E ASKED.

 

HIM TO BRING TO MOTHERHENS FLAT WHEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE HE FLY'S PAST.

 

I WANTED TO GET IT IN EARLY AS I REALISE HE'S THOUSANDS TO READ.

 

SO I THOUGHT I BETTER GET TO THE POST OFFICE BEFORE ANY MORE STRIKES WITH SPEED.

 

A NEW BOOK OF PRAYERS I NEED BRINGING AND SOME LITTLE BAGS FULL OF LOVE.

 

 

I HAVE ASKED FOR SOME CARTONS OF CUDDLES

 

AND A CAGE OF PICASSO DOVES.

I  HAVE  ASKED FOR BOXES OF HUGS A PLENTY THESE ARE ESSENTAILS TO ME.

 

 

AND ON MY LIST IS A BOTTLE OF KINDNESSI HAVE REQUESTED HE'LL SEE.

 

A BIG BUNCH OF LOVELY SMILES I HAVE ASKED FOR SO I CAN ALSO SEND  THESE .

 

OUT TO MY J/LAND FRIENDS THIS CHRISTMAS HOPING THAT THEY'LL BE PLEASED.

 

THERES BEEN MANY TIMES IN 2007 JOURNALERS HAVE NEEDED OUR PRAYERS.

 

AND MANY WHO HAVE NEEDED A HUG FROM SOMEONE WHO GENUINELY CARES.

 

MANY HAVE NEEDED A LITTLE PEACE WHICH THE PICASSO DOVE BRINGS  I FIND.

 

AND MANY HAVE NEEDED SOMEBODY TO BE THERE AT SOME TIME AND TO BE KIND.

 

WE ALL NEED SOME LOVE IN OUR LIVES AT TIMES SO I COULDN'T NOT ASK FOR  THIS.

 

THEN THERE ARE ONES WHO HAVE ONLY NEEDED A GENTLE HUG OR A KISS.

 

I  ALSO ASKED OLD SANTA FOR THE LARGE BOTTLE OF KINDNESS SEEDS.

 

TO SPRINKLE ALL AROUND J/LAND TO EVERYBODY IN NEED.

 

WELL MY LETTER IS ON IT'S WAY NOW AND ON THE ENVELOPE AT THE BACK.

 

IS A MESSAGE FOR SANTA TO SPREAD SOME CHRISTIANITY TO SOME OF THE PUBLIC WHO LACK.

 

                                          

 

THE VERY TRUE  MEANING OF CHISTMASTIME SO I'M HOPING IF SANTA WORKS HARD.

 

I HAVE ASKED HIM TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE FOR ME AND DROP A BAG IN THERE  YARD

 

SO ON CHRISTMAS MORNING J/LAND FRIENDS IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE A BRIGHT   FLASH.

 

YOU WILL KNOW IT IS ONLY MOTHERHEN SCATTERING ON YOU FROM MY FLAT.

 

SO NOW THAT JOBS FINISHED  I'M HOPING MY LETTER ARRIVES  ON TIME.

 

AND I'LL BE BACK WHEN I GET A MINUTE OR TWO WITH ANOTHER OF  " MY SIMPLE RHYMES ".

 

 

            XXXXX            HAVE A LOVELY DAY            XXXX

 

 

             

        

 

 

 

"FIRE IN THE FLAT"

 

 

I WAS HARD AND FAST  ASLEEP THIS MORNING ROUND ABOUT HALF PAST THREE.

 

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN CAME A VERY LOUD PIERCING SCREAMING NOISE IT SOUNDED TO ME. 

 

I WAS HALF ASLEEP AND BOGEYED AND I WONDERED WHERE IT CAME FROM.

 

WHEN PARTNER JUMPED OUT OF BED SO QUICK AND SAID COME ON MOTHERHEN QUICK RUN.

 

RUN I SAID WHERE TO AT THIS TIME  3-30AM DON'T BE DAFT .

 

THERES A FIRE IN THE FLAT HE SHOUTED THATS THE ALARM COME ON LAUGHING KATH.

 

MY GOD I YELLED AND I GRABBED MY DRESSING GOWN FIRST THOUGH I TOOK MY PURSE.

 

IF THERE WAS A FIRE I WANTED OUR  BANK CARDS AND THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT OF FIRST. HE-HE.

 

WELL WE RAN OUT THE FLAT AND DOWN THE STEPS AND WHEN WE GOT OUTSIDE.

 

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT  IF IT WERE ME I WOULD HAVE HAD TO HIDE.

 

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN SOME OF THE CREATIONS THAT THE FIRE ALARM WOKE UP.

 

I DON'T MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE AND  I DON'T USUALLY TALK ABOUT STUFF.

 

BUT I WAS SO SHOCKED I WAS STOOD THERE FROZEN AND I WAS QUITE WELL EQUIPPED .

 

IN A NICE NIGHTDRESS AND WARM DRESSING GOWN BUT SOME OF THEM HAD ON NO KIT. HE-HE.

 

STOOD IN THE ROAD WAS A WOMAN WITH A VERY FLIMSY SILK SHORT GOWN.

 

AND HER BOOBS WERE SHOWING THROUGH THE MATERIAL HUNG TO HER WAIST RIGHT DOWN.

 

A MAN STOOD BESIDE HER WAS WEARING A THONG AND I THOUGHT GOOD GRIEF HE WILL FREEZE.

 

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERED HIM A BLANKET HE SAID OH I DON'T MIND YES PLEASE.

 

THE SCREAMING NOISE WAS ECHOING OUT AND PIECING MY EARS REAL BAD.

 

I STARTED TO CRY BECAUSE I WAS THINKING THIS IS GOING TO END UP SAD.

 

I AM  JUST ABOUT TO LOSE EVERYTHING APART FROM WHATS IN MY PURSE.

 

AND MY POOTER WILL BE GONE AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO WRITE YOU ANY MORE VERSE. HE-HE

 

I WAS PRAYING TO GOD THAT EVERYONE GOT OUT AND REALY UPSET WAS I.

 

THE ROOSTER WAS CUDDLING ME AND TRYING TO REASURE ME AS HE WIPED DRY MY EYE.

 

A GUY CAME OVER CALLED ELVIS HE IS THE CARETAKER OF THE BLOCK.

 

AND HE IS SHOUTING OUT TO EVERYONE  ARE YOU ALL OK OLD COCKS.

 

WHEN A GUY IN SOME PALE BLUE LONG JOHNS SAID WHERES THE BLOODY FIRE BRIGADE. HE-HE

 

HE REPLIED OH WE DON'T NEED THEM SORRY IT'S A SILLY MISTAKE I HAVE MADE.

 

MISTAKE ALL THESE VOICES WERE SHOUTING WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT.

 

WELL IV'E BEEN FOR A PINT TO A BIT OF A DO IT WAS LATE WHEN I GOT BACK TO MY FLAT.

 

I GOT INSIDE AND I MADE SOME TOAST AND I BURNT IT YOU SEE AND SO.

 

THE ALARM IT SET OFF AND IT GOES TO EVERYONE TO LET ALL THE WHOLE BLOCK KNOW.

 

THERES A FIRE IN THE FLATS  AND SO WHEN I RAN OUT I COULDNT' REMEMBER THE CODE.

 

TO STOP THE ALARM AND BEFORE I KNEW IT ALL THE STREET HAD OVERFLOWED.

 

WITH   PEOPLE LIKE YOU STOOD ABOUT IN THERE NIGHTWARE AND NOW I HAVE JUST RANG UP.

 

THE LANDLORD TO ASK IF HE CAN COME OUT SO  INTO THE ALARM HE'LL PUT.

 

THE CODE TO STOP IT SCREAMING THEN YOU CAN ALL GO BACK TO BED.

 

WELL ONE FELLOW SHOUTED YOU WANT SACKING MATE YOUR NOT RIGHT IN YOUR BLOODY  HEAD HE-HE.

 

SO MY TEARS THEY TURNED TO LAUGHTER AND I JUST COULDN'T STOP AT ALL.

 

I WAS LOOKING ROUND AT THE FANCY GEAR IT WAS BETTER THAN A  RAGTIME BALL. HE-HE.

 

LONG JOHNS AND SHORTY NIGHTIES BRIEFS AND THONGS AND STUFF.

 

ONE WOMAN HAD A BIG BAGGY JUMPER ON AND A PAIR OF JOGGERS SHE LOOKED  ROUGH.

 

SHE KEPT SAYING THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE SLEPT IN THESE JOGGERS BUT I'M COLD.

 

I KNOW I LOOK A MESS BUT WHO CARES SHE SAID I'M ALWAYS FROZEN NOW I'M OLD.

 

I AM SUCH A GIDDY PERSON AND THE ROOSTER WAS PLAYING POP.

 

BECAUSE I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING AT ALL THESE FOLKS BUT I COULDN'T STOP.

 

BY THIS TIME I WAS PERISHED AND SOME STOOD  THEY DIDN'T HAVE A CARE.

 

BUT WE COULDN'T GO INSIDE BECAUSE THE ALARM WOULD HAVE DAMAGED OUR EAR DRUMS BACK IN THERE.

 

I HAVE NEVER HEARD SUCH A PIERCING SOUND AS STRONG AS THIS BEFORE.

 

AND LET ME SAY I AM HOPING AFTER LAST NIGHT I NEVER HERE IT ANYMORE.

 

PARTNER WAS GETTING AGGREVATED AND I KNEW THAT HE WAS ANNOYED.

 

BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WORKS YOU SEE ALL THE OTHERS ARE NOT EMPLOYED .

 

OUR BLOCK IS FULL OF  INVALID OR FOLKS RETIRED TO THE COAST  YOU SEE.

 

AND ALL HE KEPT SAYING WAS IT'S OK FOR THEM THEY DON'T HAVE TO GO TO WORK LIKE ME.

 

AT 6-30AM IN THE MORNING AND HE WAS WISHING  THE LANDLORD WOULD SOON COME.

 

AND HURRY UP AND TURN IT OFF ALL TOWN WILL WONDER WHERE THE NOISE IS FROM.

 

WELL EVENTUALLY HE CAME AND HE TURNED IT OFF SO WE WENT INSIDE AT LAST.

 

AND BEFORE WE KNEW IT IT WAS HALF PAST SIX AND THREE HOURS HAD ALREADY PAST.

 

SO PARTNER WENT TO WORK AS USUAL AND AS THE TIME DID PASS.

 

ALL I COULD DO WAS LAUGH TO MYSELF AT THIS GUY IN THE THONG AND THAT OLD LASS.

 

I THOUGHT TO MYSELF FLIPPING HECK WE HAVE KINKIES IN OUR BLOCK LIVING HERE.

 

TWO MIDDLE AGED PEOPLE IN THERE FIFTIES GOING TO BED IN THAT KIND OF GEAR. HE-HE.

 

ANYWAY FOLKS THANK GOODNESS IT WAS ALL A FALSE ALARM.

 

AND LAUGHING KATH AND EVERYONE ELSE DIDN'T COME TO ANY  HARM.

 

BUT ROOSTER SAID TO ELVIS WHEN WE WERE COMING INSIDE.

 

DON'T MAKE ANY MORE TOAST WHEN YOUR GASSED UP OR I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR BACKSIDE.   HE-HE.

 

SO FOR NOW I MUST RUSH AS I AM STILL MAKING THINGS FOR THIS CHRISTMAS TIME.

 

BUT I JUST THOUGHT I'D POP ONLINE AND TELL THE LATEST HERE IN " MY SIMPLE RHYME "  HE-HE.

 

 

                       SO THIS HAD TO BE MISSED TODAY LOL!!!!

 

                                                                  

                                                     

 

                                                 HE-HE -HE  !!!!!!!

 

      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" THE CHRISTMAS TREE"

               

            

                  

        

NEXT SATURDAY  I'M PREPARING FOR AS THEN A BUSY MONTH STARTS.

 

THE FIRST OF DECEMBER  IS WHEN I REALY  HAVE TO PLAY MY PART.

 

THE REAL LEAD UP TO CHRISTMAS AND I'M  BUSY AS A BEE.

 

CLEANING DOWN AND MOVING ROUND TO FIT IN THE CHRISTMAS TREE.

 

I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW THIS YEAR HAS FLOWN DOESN'T TIME PASS  QUICK.

 

SO I'M NOW SORTING OUT AND LOOKING THROUGH MY CHRISTMAS BOX OF TRICKS.

 

BAUBLES AND ANGELS SILVER TWINE BEADS THAT GLITTER SO.

 

I WONDER WHEN I'LL FINISH I REALY DO NOT KNOW.

 

DOESN'T IT TAKE QUITE A TIME TO HANG THESE PRETTY THINGS .

 

ON EVERY BRANCH AND THREAD THEM ALL ON STRANDS OF GLITTERY STRINGS.

 

SILVER  GOLD OR COTTON GREEN SO THAT IT DOESN'TSHOW.

 

I LIKE MY BAUBLES AND DECORATED  PIECES TO SWING DOWN VERY  LOW.

 

NOT SO TIGHT ON THE BRANCHES WITH THERE SELF FORMED  LITTLE HOOKS .

 

IF YOU PLACE THESE STRAIGHT ONTO THE BRANCH THEY DON'T DANGLE VERY MUCH.

 

ALL COLOURS I HAVE SORTED LOTS OF THE SPARKLY KIND.

 

GLASS ONES YOU CAN SEE THROUGH AND THE OLD VICTORIAN KIND.

 

I MAKE SOME LITTLE PRESENTS OUT OF TINY BOXES SMALL.

 

AND MINATURE CHRISTMAS CRACKERS I MAKE TO HAND AROUND TO ALL.

 

POPPING IN A TINY GIFT JUST A LITTLE THING.

 

A PUZZLE FOR THE BOYS AND FOR THE GIRLS A PRETTY RING.

 

I LAY THEM ACROSS THE BRANCHES TO FILL UP ALL THE GAPS.

 

AND BY THE TREE A FANCY CARTON FILLEDWITHPARTY HATS.

 

LITTLE RED KNITTED STOCKINGS HANG FROM MY FIREPLACE SHELF.

 

WITH TINY CHOCOLATE PIECES IN BUT THESE ARE FOR MYSELF.     HE-HE.

 

I BOUGHT THESE MANY YEARS  AGO WHEN MY CHILDREN  THEY WERE SMALL.

 

AND THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVOUTIRE PIECES OF  THEM ALL.

 

GINGERBREAD MEN WRAPPED UP IN CELLOPHANE DANCE AS I WALK BYE .

 

PRESENTS  AND  FLICKERING CANDLES ALSO CATCH MY EYE.

 

I HAVE MADE A LOVELY BRIGHT RED SACK  FROM AN EMPTY BROWN POTATO BAG.

 

COVERED IT IN RED CREPE PAPER AND STOOD THERE IT IS CLAD.

 

ON THE FRONT A PICTURE OF SANTA AND INSIDE A STORAGE BIN.

 

WITH GIFTS IV'E WRAPPED ALL NUMBERED FOR ALL MY GUESTS TO WIN.

 

IT WILL LOOK JUST  LIKE A STRONG RED SACK STANDING UPRIGHT THERE.

 

I DARN'T RISK POPPING IT FULL OF GOODIES NEXT TO MY PARTNERS CHAIR.   HE-HE.

 

WHEN VISITORS  WIN A GAME OUTRIGHT A NUMBER THEN THEY CHOOSE.

 

LARGE ONES FOR THE WINNERS SOME SMALL FOR THOSE WHO LOSE.

 

THE NUMBER CHOSEN BY THEMSELVES SO THATS THERE PROBLEM THEN.

 

IF THEY DON'T GET A GIFT THAT THERE FOND OF THEY CARN'T BLAME  " OLD MOTHERHEN" " HE-HE.

 

LOT OF GAMES I PLAN AT CHRISTMAS WHICH TAKE HOURS TO MAKE.

 

I LIKE MY GUESTS TO HAVE SOMETHING WHEN THEY GO HOME TO TAKE.

 

I CUT OUT ADVERTISEMENTS AND HANG THEM UP ALL AROUND .

 

CUT OFF THE NAME OF THE PRODUCT AND WHEN THE GUESTS HAVE FOUND .

 

THEY HAVE TO WRITE THE ANSWERS ON A PAPER AND WHEN THERE DONE.

 

I CHECK THEM ALL AND ADD UP THE SCORES THEY LIKE THIS GAME IT'S FUN.

 

THE ONES WITH THE MOST CORRECT THEY GET THE CHOISE OF A GIFT FROM THE SACK.

 

AND IT'S TOUGH IF THE LADY GETS UNDERPANTS AND THE MEN GET A BEAUTY FACE PACK..

 

BECAUSE WE HAVE A RIGHT LAUGH WHEN THEY OPEN AND LOOK WHOO -HOO.

 

LOTS OF GAMES I MAKE UP MYSELF AND THEY ALL ENJOY THEM TOO.

 

I LOVE THE PREPERATION AND LEAD UP TO CHRISTMASTIME.

 

IV'E FOUND TIME VERY LIMITED THIS YEAR THOUGH I SEEM TO BE ALWAYS ONLINE.    HE-HE.

 

 

IF I COULD TRIM UP MY COMMENTS TO YOU THAT WOULD BE REALY NICE.

 

A LITTLE DIFFERANT I'D LOVE TO  DO THAT AND FOR YOU A NICE SUPRIZE.

 

ARE YOU READY TO TRIM UP  J/LAND IS  YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE UP YET.

 

IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE EARLY BUT I'VE LOTS STILL TO DO AND GET .

 

MY SNOWMAN  IS ALSO GOING TO BE PLACED SOMEWHERE THERE ON SHOW.

 

IV'E MADE A BOARD TO STAND HIM ON WHICH I HAVE SPRAYED WITH SNOW.

 

HE STANDS ABOUT TWELVE INCHES HIGH AND HE'S CAUGHT A FALLING STAR.

 

BACK HOME WHERE I USED TO LIVE HE USED TO STAND WELCOMING FOLKS TO MY  BAR.

 

RUDOLPH WILL BE  LIT IN THE WINDOW TOO RIDING INTO THE SKY.

 

FOR EVERY VISITOR TO OUR TOWN TO SEE AS THEY  PASS HIM  BY.

 

NEWCOMERS TO MY JOURNAL WON'T UNDERSTAND THE NEXT LINES.

 

IF YOU HAVN'T READ MY ARCHIVES OF SOME OF MY PAST TIMES.

 

WELL MY OLD J/LAND FOLLOWERS I'M READY TO FILL MY GOLD DISH.

 

WITH LOTS OF JUICY SATSUMAS AND YOU ALREADY KNOW I DON'T  MISS.   HE- HE.

 

IN THE HALL I'LL DECORATE THE TROLLEY (SIDETABLE) FOR ALL THE GOODIES AND SWEETS.

 

AND  IN MY NEXT RHYME I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT ALL MY CHRISTMAS TREATS.

 

MY LARGE VICTORIAN STAIRCASE OUTSIDE I ALSO LIKE TO TRIM.

 

WITH GARLANDS ON THE HANDRAILS AND OTHER PRETTY THINGS.

 

LIVING ON THE SECOND FLOOR I ALSO PLACE A TREE.

 

WITH TWINKLING LIGHTS FOR VISITORS WHEN THEY CALL IN TO SEE  ME.

 

MY KITCHEN THEN  COMES LAST OF ALL AND IN HERE MY POOTER LIVES.

 

SO A NICE CLEAN UP FOR HIM AS WELL AND SOMETHING CHRISTMASY I'LL GIVE.

 

MAYBE A LITTLE SANTA ON TOP FOR ME TO WISPER AND SAY

 

 

IV'E BEEN A GOOD GIRL SANTA DON'T FORGET MOTHERHEN CHRISTMAS DAY.   HE-HE.

 

SO YES THIS NEXT THREE  WEEKS YOU  SEE I HAVE A VERY LOT ON.

 

IT TAKES ME AGES TO TRIM UP MY FLAT  BUT WORTH IT WHEN I'M DONE.

 

I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DECORATIONS WHEN ALL COMPLETE LIKE ME.

 

SCATTERED ALL AROUND YOU AND UNDER YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE.

 

THE FINAL TOUCHES ON CHRISTMAS EVE COME  FROM SON  IN THE USA .

 

AN ARRANGEMENT OF BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS  WILL STAND PRIDE OF PLACE IN MY BAY.....

 

I BEST GO DO MY HALL NOW FRIENDS IT'S HARD WORK IS DECEMBER TIME.

 

WHEN FINISHED  I'LL PLACE YOU SOME PICTURES IN ANOTHER OF  " MY SIMPLE RHYME."

 

 

              

 

 

                         KATH           ENJOY!!!

 

 

" I HAD AN IDEA"

 

              

 

                                      OVER SIXTIES LOL!!

                                                 

                                              

   

I WAS SNAGGING THESE GRAPHICS ABOVE FROM SUGAR ONE MORNING WHEN I WAS ONLINE.

 

YES THESE LOVELY RED HATTER TAGS LIKE ABOVE AND I GOT THE IDEA FOR THIS RHYME.

 

I WOULD LOVE TO BE A RED HATTER GIRL AND TRAVEL AROUND AND HAVE LAUGHS.

 

I THINK THIS WOULD SUIT ME TO A TEE  A RED HAT ON MY HEAD LAUGHING KATH.

 

WELL ACTUALY I DO HAVE A PICTURE OF MYSELF IN MY BIG RED HAT.

 

SO I MIGHT WRITE UP TO SOMEONE AND SEND IT  AND ASK ABOUT THAT.

 

COULD I JOIN YOUR RED HATTER GROUP PLEASE I'D ASK AS I'D LOVE TO TRAVEL AROUND.

 

AND MY LAUGH IT IS VERY INFECTIOUS IT'S A VERY VERY HEARTY SOUND.

 

I AM SURE I WOULD FIT IN COMFORTABLY WITH YOUR GROUP PLEASE GIVE ME A TRY.

 

HERE IS MY PICTURE ENCLOSED FOR YOU IN MY RED HAT I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.

 

CAN YOU IMAGINE ME J/LAND GOING OUT TO A FUNCTION WITH ALL OF THEM.

 

INTRODUCING MYSELF TO THEM ALL AND SAYING HELLO GALS I'M MOTHEREHEN.      HE-HE.

 

I'M OVER SIXTY  AND JUST THE RIGHT AGE AND I THINK STILL A KID AT HEART.

 

AND I ALSO HAVE A PURPLE DRESS I COULD WEAR AND PLAY THE PART.

 

IF I JOINED IN YOUR GROUP WHAT FUN WE WOULD HAVE YOU WOULD LAUGH FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT.

 

BECAUSE MOTHERHEN LOVES A LAUGH AND GOOD FUN I THINK I  WOULD FIT IN JUST RIGHT.

 

SO PLEASE  CONSIDER MY APPLICATION  IF YOU ARE ONE SHORT IN YOUR GROUP.

 

IV'E ENQUIRED ROUND HOME AND KNOWBODY SEEMS TO WANT TO GET UP A NEW TROOP.

 

FROM MY AREA SO I'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR A VACANCY IF I CAN JOIN ONE OF YOURS.

 

OH I WOULD BE EVER SO GRATEFUL TO YOU AS MOTHERHEN JUST SIMPLY ADORES.

 

ANY KIND OF LARGE HAT YOU SEE BUT A RED ONE I ALREADY POSSESS.

 

I WOULD LOOK NICE I'M SURE WHEN DOLLED UP AND OF COURSE IN A PURPLE DRESS.

 

SO FOR NOW HERE IS MY PICTURE ENCLOSED WHICH I'VE SENT YOU WITH THESE FEW LINES..

 

BUT MY HAIRS NO LONGER DARK BROWN IT'S BLONDE AND HAS BEEN FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

 

IF I HAVE A SHORT WAIT THATS FINE I DON'T MIND BEFORE YOU GET BACK TO ME..

 

OH!!!!   ON SECOND THOUGHTS THOUGH DON'T BOTHER AS IT MIGHT PROVE TOO MUCH  HE-HE..

 

IV'E DECIDED I MUCH RATHER SPEND MY TIME WITH THE GROUP I HAVE ALREADY  MET.

 

WHICH TAKES UP LOTS OF MY SPARE TIME SO NO TIME FOR OTHER GROUPS  YET.

 

I'M FAR TOO BUSY DOING THINGS IN THIS ONE AND OFTEN I CARN'T GET OFFLINE.

 

FOR WRITING MY COMMENTS AND POSTINGS TO J/LAND ALL OF "  MY SIMPLE RHYMES " 

 

                                            

                                  

 

 

                             I CAN DREAM CARN'T I ?  HE-HE-HE.

 

 

 

" THE HUNK I MET IN GREECE"

 

 

     

 

 

MY STORY TODAY IS ABOUT ONE YEAR I FLEW AWAY OVER TO GREECE.

 

I WAS SICK OF THE USUAL ROUTINE WE DO AND WANTED A BIT OF PEACE.

 

SO OFF I HOPPED AWAY MY FRIENDS TO MY  IDILIC PLACE.

 

SKIATHOS TO SIT AROUND AND SUNBATHE AND DO EVERYTHING AT MY  PACE.

 

I HADN'T BEEN THERE VERY LONG MY FRIENDS WHEN  RELAXING I SPIED WITH MY EYE.

 

A GROUP OF GUYS GOOD LOOKING All TANNED AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM OH! MY.

 

ONE BIG AND HUNKY NOT SO TANNED BUT JUST RIGHT AND SOLID AND STRONG.

 

SO I KEPT LOOKING OVER AND EYEING UP WELL I WASN'T DOING NO WRONG.

 

AND EACH DAY I WOKE I ADMIRED SO MUCH AND I COULDN'T GET OUT OF MY MIND.

 

JUST MY SORT  AND WELL BACK  HOME THESE TYPE ARE HARD TO FIND.

 

I WOULD WALK ROUND THE POOL ADMIREING AND GIVING A GLANCE OR TWO.

 

ON THE SECOND DAY MANY OF THEM HAD GONE BUT THIS ONE STILL THERE.   WHOO-HOO !!

 

LONGING TO TOUCH AND  PUT MY ARMS ROUND BUT TOO MANY PEOPLE IN SIGHT .

 

THINKING MAYBE I MIGHT GET A CHANCE IF I HUNG AROUND ONE NIGHT.

 

THE SUN IT WAS GETTING HOTTER AND I WAS AS I LAY THERE .

 

I HAD VISIONS OF BEING HOME TOGETHER WITH ME LOUNGING IN MY DECKCHAIR.

 

I NEVER SPOKE A WORD AT ALL JUST ADMIRED AND GAZED ALL DAY.

 

THINKING I BET THERES LOTS THAT ADMIRED AND I HAD NO CHANCE IN A WAY.

 

I DID LEARN FROM OTHER HOLIDAY MAKERS THAT THIS HUNK ALWAYS LAZED ROUND .

 

AND ANOTHER ONE ALSO WHICH HUNG AROUND ACROSS THE POOL ON THE GROUND.

 

SO I WONDERED OVER THAT WAY ONE MORNING JUST TO TAKE A LOOK.

 

AND THERE BELOW A PINAPPLE TREE WOW I WAS AMAZED AND JUST SHOOK.

 

WITH EXICTEMENT AS BACK HOME IN ENGLAND THERE WERN'T NO HUNKS LIKE THIS.

 

LYING IN MY GARDEN WITH ONE  I IMAGINED WOULD BE JUST BLISS.. HE-HE.

 

IT HAS GOT TO BE MINE I THOUGHT TOMYSELF AND PARNER KEPT LOOKING AT ME.

 

WATCHING ME ADMIRE THIS HUNK  TILL ONE DAY HE SAID TO ME.

 

HAVE YOU GOT EYES FOR ANOTHER AND I HAD TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

 

I SAID WELL ONE IS ENOUGH REALY BUT TWO WOULD REALY PROVE.

 

MUCH MORE SATISFACTORY DON'T TELL ME YOUR  ANGRY NOW PLEASE.

 

I'M ONLY ADMIREING I KNOW I CARN'T HAVE DON'T BICKER I WANT SOME PEACE.

 

THE HOLIDAY WEEK IT PASSED BY QUICKLY SO ON THE VERY

 LAST DAY.

 

I PLUCKED UP COURAGE AND WENT DOWN ALONE AND A LADY PASSED  BY MY WAY.

 

WOULD YOU TAKE MY PICTURE PLEASE WITH THAT HUNK THERE DON'T LET ANYONE SEE.

 

WITH MY ARMS AROUND IT WHILE IT'S QUIET AND SO OFF I

TIP-TOED QUICKLY.

 

NOT A SOUND I MADE AND SPREAD MY ARMS THE LADY SHE SNAPPED AND LAUGHED.

 

I'VE ADMIRED IT TOO SHE SAID AND OFF I RUSHED LAUGHING KATH.    HE-HE.

 

I MUST ADMIT IT WAS FUN WITH MY ARMS ROUND AND I LAUGHED AS SHE TOOK THE PIC.

 

IT WAS QUIET AND THERE WAS KNOWONE AROUND SO I DIDN'T FEEL A TWIT.

 

WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK TO MY LOVELY TANNED HUNK

 ISN'T IT JUST WHAT I NEEDED.

 

BIG AND STRONG AND VERY GOOD LOOKING ARN'T I GLAD  I SUCCEEDED.

 

IN GETTING MY PICTURE TAKEN TOGETHER ON MY HOIDAY IN GREECE AT THAT TIME.

 

WE LOOK GREAT TOGETHER DON'T WE IN THE PICTURE  IN   "  MY SIMPLE RHYME ".

 

 

                                                    HE-HE-HE !!!!

 

                        BIG, STRONG AND GOOD LOOKING.

                                 

                                                                      

                                   SCROLL DOWN                

 

 

 

               

 

                  

 

               

 

 

 

    I BET YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE COULD YOU

                                         !!!