" I HAD AN IDEA"

 

              

 

                                      OVER SIXTIES LOL!!

                                                 

                                              

   

I WAS SNAGGING THESE GRAPHICS ABOVE FROM SUGAR ONE MORNING WHEN I WAS ONLINE.

 

YES THESE LOVELY RED HATTER TAGS LIKE ABOVE AND I GOT THE IDEA FOR THIS RHYME.

 

I WOULD LOVE TO BE A RED HATTER GIRL AND TRAVEL AROUND AND HAVE LAUGHS.

 

I THINK THIS WOULD SUIT ME TO A TEE  A RED HAT ON MY HEAD LAUGHING KATH.

 

WELL ACTUALY I DO HAVE A PICTURE OF MYSELF IN MY BIG RED HAT.

 

SO I MIGHT WRITE UP TO SOMEONE AND SEND IT  AND ASK ABOUT THAT.

 

COULD I JOIN YOUR RED HATTER GROUP PLEASE I'D ASK AS I'D LOVE TO TRAVEL AROUND.

 

AND MY LAUGH IT IS VERY INFECTIOUS IT'S A VERY VERY HEARTY SOUND.

 

I AM SURE I WOULD FIT IN COMFORTABLY WITH YOUR GROUP PLEASE GIVE ME A TRY.

 

HERE IS MY PICTURE ENCLOSED FOR YOU IN MY RED HAT I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.

 

CAN YOU IMAGINE ME J/LAND GOING OUT TO A FUNCTION WITH ALL OF THEM.

 

INTRODUCING MYSELF TO THEM ALL AND SAYING HELLO GALS I'M MOTHEREHEN.      HE-HE.

 

I'M OVER SIXTY  AND JUST THE RIGHT AGE AND I THINK STILL A KID AT HEART.

 

AND I ALSO HAVE A PURPLE DRESS I COULD WEAR AND PLAY THE PART.

 

IF I JOINED IN YOUR GROUP WHAT FUN WE WOULD HAVE YOU WOULD LAUGH FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT.

 

BECAUSE MOTHERHEN LOVES A LAUGH AND GOOD FUN I THINK I  WOULD FIT IN JUST RIGHT.

 

SO PLEASE  CONSIDER MY APPLICATION  IF YOU ARE ONE SHORT IN YOUR GROUP.

 

IV'E ENQUIRED ROUND HOME AND KNOWBODY SEEMS TO WANT TO GET UP A NEW TROOP.

 

FROM MY AREA SO I'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR A VACANCY IF I CAN JOIN ONE OF YOURS.

 

OH I WOULD BE EVER SO GRATEFUL TO YOU AS MOTHERHEN JUST SIMPLY ADORES.

 

ANY KIND OF LARGE HAT YOU SEE BUT A RED ONE I ALREADY POSSESS.

 

I WOULD LOOK NICE I'M SURE WHEN DOLLED UP AND OF COURSE IN A PURPLE DRESS.

 

SO FOR NOW HERE IS MY PICTURE ENCLOSED WHICH I'VE SENT YOU WITH THESE FEW LINES..

 

BUT MY HAIRS NO LONGER DARK BROWN IT'S BLONDE AND HAS BEEN FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

 

IF I HAVE A SHORT WAIT THATS FINE I DON'T MIND BEFORE YOU GET BACK TO ME..

 

OH!!!!   ON SECOND THOUGHTS THOUGH DON'T BOTHER AS IT MIGHT PROVE TOO MUCH  HE-HE..

 

IV'E DECIDED I MUCH RATHER SPEND MY TIME WITH THE GROUP I HAVE ALREADY  MET.

 

WHICH TAKES UP LOTS OF MY SPARE TIME SO NO TIME FOR OTHER GROUPS  YET.

 

I'M FAR TOO BUSY DOING THINGS IN THIS ONE AND OFTEN I CARN'T GET OFFLINE.

 

FOR WRITING MY COMMENTS AND POSTINGS TO J/LAND ALL OF "  MY SIMPLE RHYMES " 

 

                                            

                                  

 

 

                             I CAN DREAM CARN'T I ?  HE-HE-HE.

 

 

 

" THE HUNK I MET IN GREECE"

 

 

     

 

 

MY STORY TODAY IS ABOUT ONE YEAR I FLEW AWAY OVER TO GREECE.

 

I WAS SICK OF THE USUAL ROUTINE WE DO AND WANTED A BIT OF PEACE.

 

SO OFF I HOPPED AWAY MY FRIENDS TO MY  IDILIC PLACE.

 

SKIATHOS TO SIT AROUND AND SUNBATHE AND DO EVERYTHING AT MY  PACE.

 

I HADN'T BEEN THERE VERY LONG MY FRIENDS WHEN  RELAXING I SPIED WITH MY EYE.

 

A GROUP OF GUYS GOOD LOOKING All TANNED AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM OH! MY.

 

ONE BIG AND HUNKY NOT SO TANNED BUT JUST RIGHT AND SOLID AND STRONG.

 

SO I KEPT LOOKING OVER AND EYEING UP WELL I WASN'T DOING NO WRONG.

 

AND EACH DAY I WOKE I ADMIRED SO MUCH AND I COULDN'T GET OUT OF MY MIND.

 

JUST MY SORT  AND WELL BACK  HOME THESE TYPE ARE HARD TO FIND.

 

I WOULD WALK ROUND THE POOL ADMIREING AND GIVING A GLANCE OR TWO.

 

ON THE SECOND DAY MANY OF THEM HAD GONE BUT THIS ONE STILL THERE.   WHOO-HOO !!

 

LONGING TO TOUCH AND  PUT MY ARMS ROUND BUT TOO MANY PEOPLE IN SIGHT .

 

THINKING MAYBE I MIGHT GET A CHANCE IF I HUNG AROUND ONE NIGHT.

 

THE SUN IT WAS GETTING HOTTER AND I WAS AS I LAY THERE .

 

I HAD VISIONS OF BEING HOME TOGETHER WITH ME LOUNGING IN MY DECKCHAIR.

 

I NEVER SPOKE A WORD AT ALL JUST ADMIRED AND GAZED ALL DAY.

 

THINKING I BET THERES LOTS THAT ADMIRED AND I HAD NO CHANCE IN A WAY.

 

I DID LEARN FROM OTHER HOLIDAY MAKERS THAT THIS HUNK ALWAYS LAZED ROUND .

 

AND ANOTHER ONE ALSO WHICH HUNG AROUND ACROSS THE POOL ON THE GROUND.

 

SO I WONDERED OVER THAT WAY ONE MORNING JUST TO TAKE A LOOK.

 

AND THERE BELOW A PINAPPLE TREE WOW I WAS AMAZED AND JUST SHOOK.

 

WITH EXICTEMENT AS BACK HOME IN ENGLAND THERE WERN'T NO HUNKS LIKE THIS.

 

LYING IN MY GARDEN WITH ONE  I IMAGINED WOULD BE JUST BLISS.. HE-HE.

 

IT HAS GOT TO BE MINE I THOUGHT TOMYSELF AND PARNER KEPT LOOKING AT ME.

 

WATCHING ME ADMIRE THIS HUNK  TILL ONE DAY HE SAID TO ME.

 

HAVE YOU GOT EYES FOR ANOTHER AND I HAD TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

 

I SAID WELL ONE IS ENOUGH REALY BUT TWO WOULD REALY PROVE.

 

MUCH MORE SATISFACTORY DON'T TELL ME YOUR  ANGRY NOW PLEASE.

 

I'M ONLY ADMIREING I KNOW I CARN'T HAVE DON'T BICKER I WANT SOME PEACE.

 

THE HOLIDAY WEEK IT PASSED BY QUICKLY SO ON THE VERY

 LAST DAY.

 

I PLUCKED UP COURAGE AND WENT DOWN ALONE AND A LADY PASSED  BY MY WAY.

 

WOULD YOU TAKE MY PICTURE PLEASE WITH THAT HUNK THERE DON'T LET ANYONE SEE.

 

WITH MY ARMS AROUND IT WHILE IT'S QUIET AND SO OFF I

TIP-TOED QUICKLY.

 

NOT A SOUND I MADE AND SPREAD MY ARMS THE LADY SHE SNAPPED AND LAUGHED.

 

I'VE ADMIRED IT TOO SHE SAID AND OFF I RUSHED LAUGHING KATH.    HE-HE.

 

I MUST ADMIT IT WAS FUN WITH MY ARMS ROUND AND I LAUGHED AS SHE TOOK THE PIC.

 

IT WAS QUIET AND THERE WAS KNOWONE AROUND SO I DIDN'T FEEL A TWIT.

 

WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK TO MY LOVELY TANNED HUNK

 ISN'T IT JUST WHAT I NEEDED.

 

BIG AND STRONG AND VERY GOOD LOOKING ARN'T I GLAD  I SUCCEEDED.

 

IN GETTING MY PICTURE TAKEN TOGETHER ON MY HOIDAY IN GREECE AT THAT TIME.

 

WE LOOK GREAT TOGETHER DON'T WE IN THE PICTURE  IN   "  MY SIMPLE RHYME ".

 

 

                                                    HE-HE-HE !!!!

 

                        BIG, STRONG AND GOOD LOOKING.

                                 

                                                                      

                                   SCROLL DOWN                

 

 

 

               

 

                  

 

               

 

 

 

    I BET YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE COULD YOU

                                         !!!

 

 

 

" CHRISTMAS SHOPPING 1979 "

                                                  

               

 

 

CHRISTMAS APPROACHING 1979 AND THE WEATHER WAS COLD AND BLEAK.

 

ME AND PARTNER WENT SHOPPING OUR LAST THINGS FOR CHRISTMAS TO SEEK.

 

ALL ROUND THE LOCAL TOWN WE SHOPPED BUYING IN GOODS AS YOU DO.

 

AS I THINK THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING AT THE LAST MINUTE COMES TO YOU.

 

THREE PAIRS OF SLIPPERS FOR THE CHILDREN AS AT CHRISTMAS I ALWAYS BOUGHT NEW.

 

ONE PINK NIGHTDRESS FOR TINY DAUGHTER  PYJAMA'S FOR 2 SONS  IN  BLUE.

 

I ALWAYS LIKED THEM TO HAVE NEW NIGHTCLOTHES ON CHRISTMAS EVE EACH YEAR.

 

DON'T ASK ME WHY I ALWAYS DID THIS IT JUST BROUGHT ME LOTS OF CHEER.

 

FROM HERE WE DECIDED ALL AT ONCE OH LETS HAVE A REAL CHRISTMAS TREE .

 

SO OFF WE WENT TO THE GARDEN CENTRE WITH ALL OUR BAGS HIM AND ME.

 

EVERY SHOP WINDOW WE PASSED WAS SO LOVELY ALL LIT UP FESTIVE AND BRIGHT.

 

IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON  BY THIS TIME SO TWINKLING LIGHTS WERE  IN SIGHT.

 

AS WE GOT NEAR THE GARDEN CENTRE CAROL SINGERS WERE ALL AROUND.

 

IT WAS SUCH A PEACEFUL SIGHT THAT EVENING AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SOUND.

 

WE CHOSE OUR TREE AND OFF WE SET TO GO TO MY SISTERS THEN.

 

AS AT THIS TIME WE USED TO WATCH EACH OTHERS CHILDREN SO WE WENT FOR THEM.

 

SHE WAS BABYSITTING DAUGHTER AND TWO SONS AS I HAD WATCHED HERS THE NIGHT BEFORE.

 

IT WAS GOOD WE COULD WATCH ONE ANOTHERS WE NEVER WANTED FOR MORE.

 

WE WERE ABOUT TWENTY MILE FROM HOME THAT NIGHT AND THE TRAFFIC WAS REALY BUSY.

 

PEOPLE WERE LEAVING WORK IN THE CITY AND I WAS IN KIND OF A TIZZY.

 

PARTNER SAID WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY CARN'T YOU RELAX.

 

I SAID BECAUSE I AM FULL OF PAIN IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FACT.

 

FULL OF PAIN HE SAID WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY BEFORE WE RODE OUT SO FAR.

 

BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET YOU THAT PRESENT I PROMISED FOR THE CAR.

 

AND WE HAVE STILL TO COLLECT IT YET HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS.

 

AS I WAS GOING TO THE STORE MYSELF WHILE HE WAITED THERE BECAUSE.

 

ME NOT BEING ABLE TO DRIVE THEN  I NEEDED HIM TO TAKE ME THERE.

 

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE  PAIN GOT STRONGER AND I WAS GASPING FOR AIR..

 

GOOD GRIEF HE SAID I'LL HEAD TO YOUR SISTERS AS SOON AS THIS TRAFFIC EBBS.

 

SO I LAID DOWN ON THE BACK SEAT IN AGONY THEN SHOUTED NO YOU BETTER HEAD.

 

FOR THE HOSPITAL RIGHT AWAY PLEASE I CARN'T GO NO LONGER LIKE THIS.

 

THE PAIN IS TERRIBLE AND I NEED SOME HELP YOUR GIFT I WILL HAVE TO MISS.

 

SO HE DROVE AT SPEED AND WE ARRIVED AT THE HOSPITAL ONLY JUST IN TIME.

 

I WAS TAKEN IN AND LED TO A BED AND EVERYTHING TURNED OUT FINE.

 

I DIDN'T MANAGE HIS SUPRIZE PRESENT BUT WHAT I DID MANAGE THAT NIGHT.

 

WAS TO PRESENT HIM WITH OUR  NEW BABY SON  HE WAS SO FULL OF DELIGHT.

 

SO ALL IN ONE AFTERNOON I HAD SHOPPED AND BOUGHT A CHRISTMAS TREE TOO.

 

THEN WE WENT HOME THE VERY SAME EVENING WITH OUR BABY SON DRESSED IN BLUE.

 

I THOUGHT I WOULD SHOW YOU HIS PICTURE JUST LOOK AT HIS FAT CHEEKY CHOPS.

 

PARTNER SAID NEVER MIND THE OTHER GIFT THIS ONE FOR ME IS THE TOPS HE-HE.

 

THE PICTURE WAS TAKEN WHEN WE GOT HOME AND THE LABEL THATS  FADING AWAY .

 

IS THE ONE THEY PLACE ON THE BABY'S COT AND I STILL HAVE IT TO THIS DAY.

 

I WAS TOLD NOT TO HAVE MORE CHILDREN AFTER THE BIRTH OF MY GIRL.

 

BUT WE HAD WAITED THREE YEARS FOR OUR OWN CHILD SO THIS LITTLE BOY WAS OUR WORLD.

 

EVERYTIME I GO SHOPPING NEAR CHRISTMAS MY MEMORY FLOATS BACK TO THIS TIME.

 

AND HERE BELOW IS MY PARTNERS GIFT  PLACED HERE IN "  MY SIMPLE RHYME "

 

                               

                                 HE-HE HE ISN'T HE FUNNY !!!

 

 

 

 

 

                          

                         

 

WELL WE'RE HALF WAY THROUGH NOVEMBER FRIENDS SO I HAD A THOUGHT YESTERDAY .

 

TO START ON MY SIDEBAR FOR CHRISTMAS TO MAKE IT BRIGHT AND GAY..

 

I CARN'T PUT THE MONTH OF DECEMBER IN YET BUT I FELT IF I DID A SPREAD.

 

OF A FEW NICE CHRISTMAS GRAPHICS HERE I MIGHT GET INTO MY HEAD.

 

IT'S GETTING CLOSER EACH WEEK FRIENDS AND  I CARN'T GET INTO THE SWING.

 

OTHER YEARS AT THIS TIME I'VE FINISHED  WITH EVERYTHING..

 

I KNOW SOME START TOO EARLY WITH CHRISTMAS DECOR AND OTHER THINGS.

 

BUT WHEN I READ 40 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS PANICK FOR  ME SET IN.

 

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE IT  ALL TOO LATE AS THEN IT WILL  BE ALL RUSH.

 

SO MAKING A START ON MY JOURNAL I THOUGHT MIGHT JUST GIVE ME A PUSH.

 

THERES  ALL THE SHOPPING FOR FOOD AND  NEW CLOTHES AND  PREZZIES  IT MAKES ME FROWN.

 

FOLKS RUSHING HERE AND THERE LIKE MADMEN WHEN YOU GO INTO TOWN..

 

SO WHEN I'D DONE MY SIDEBAR I WAS FEELING MORE IN THE SPIRIT.

 

SO I 'M GOING TO TOWN WITH MY WHEELBARROW NOW AND I'M HOPING I'M GOING TO FILL IT. HE-HE.

 

IV'E MADE  A LIST OF ALL THE FOOD  THAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY LIKE.

 

I'M A BIT DISSAPOINTED I HAVE A PUNCURE THOUGH ON MY UNICYCLE BIKE.

 

                                       

                       

SO I CARN'T RIDE DOWN TOWN AND PARK UP TODAY IT'S REALY BUGGING ME.

 

NOT TO WORRY IF I CARN'T SAVE MY LEGS I'LL  SAVE ON  MY ARMS A BIT YOU'LL SEE.

 

I WAS GOING TO BUY  A MOBILITY SCOOTER BUT I CARN'T FIND A MODEL THEY  SELL..

 

WITH A STEERING WHEEL ON WHICH I'D HAVE LIKED SO THATS OUT NOW AS WELL.   HE-HE.

 

WELL I'VE   SETTLING FOR MY  WHEELBARROW AT LEAST MY ARMS WON'T ACHE.

 

IT'S VERY LIGHTWEIGHT AND JUST THE JOB FOR TRANSPORTING THINGS HOME TO TAKE.

 

BUT I BET I HAVE A BIT OF A DO  WITH THE CASHIERS  WHEN  I GO ROUND .

 

I'LL TELL THEM IT DOESN'T TAKE ANY MORE SPACE THAN A MOBILITY SCOOTER  I'VE FOUND.. HE-HE

 

AND I'M ALSO THINKING TO TRIM IT  UP TOO WITH A BIT OF CHRISTMAS CHEER.

 

IT WILL CARRY A FEW LARGE BOTTLES OF WINE AND ALSO A FEW CANS OF BEER.

 

MAYBE A BOW ON THE HANDLES OR A NICE  BIG SHINY BRASS BELL.

 

WELL I LIKE TO FEEL IN THE SPIRIT AT CHRISTMAS AND OTHER TIMES AS WELL.

 

CAN YOU ALL SEE ME DRESSED IN MY SANTA HAT MARCHING BY THE SEA ON THE PROM.

 

MY BELLS RINGING  ON MY WHEELBARROW THEY'LL WONDER WHAT PLANET I'M FROM.

 

                                         HE-HE.

 

OH! LET THEM THINK  WHAT THEY WANT MY FRIENDS IT'S BETTER THAN  BROKEN ARMS.

 

FROM CARRYING ALL THOSE HEAVY  BAGS  AND MY TURKEY TOO FROM THE FARM.

 

OH! YES IV'E TO CALL AT THE FARM AS WELL CHRISTMAS IS NOW IN MY BONES.

 

I HOPE MY WHEELBARROW TYRE DON'T PUNCTURE LIKE MY UNICYCLE HAS BACK HOME..

 

IF IT DOES I'LL CALL AT THE GARAGE AND ASK THE GUY THERE  POLITE .

 

WILL YOU BLOW MY  WHEELBARROW TYRE UP PLEASE I BET HE THINKS WHAT A SIGHT .. 

 

HE-HE.

 

I NEED IT IN PERFECT CONDITION I'LL SAY BECAUSE WHEN  I LEAVE HERE NOW.

 

IT'S GOING TO BE CARRYING A LOT OF WEIGHT AS I'VE YET TO BUY HALF A COW.     HE-HE

 

WHEN I GET THERE I'M HOPING THERE PARKING SPACE STILL HAS A WHEELBARROW RAMP.

 

WHOOPS !!!!  IT SAYS CARTS ONLY  I HOPE I  DON'T GET CLAMPED.  HE-HE

 

YOU SEE ROAST BEEFS A FAVOURITE OF OURS  AND AT CHRISTMAS WHEN OUR FRIENDS.

 

CALL IN AND ALL THE RELATIONS ARE HERE THE EATING OF BEEF NEVER ENDS.

 

THEY WANT BEEF FOR DINNER BEEF IN SARNIES AND  BEEF SLICES ON THE BUFFET.

 

SO I NEED HALF A COW AT LEAST MY FRIENDS FOR CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS DAY.

 

IT ALSO WORKS OUT MUCH CHEAPER BUT THE PROBLEM  IS CARRYING IT HOME.

 

SO INSTEAD OF THROWING IT OVER  MY SHOULDER  IT WILL SIT IN MY BARROW NO MOANS.  HE-HE

 

FROM THERE I'LL BE ON TO THE GARDEN SHOP FOR A FIR TREE TO POP ON TOP.

 

THERE VERY HANDY ARE WHEELBARROWS WHEN YOU WANT A VERY LARGE SHOP.

 

I WENT IN MY BEST GREEN WELLIES  COS IT LOOKED A BIT BLACK DID THE SKY..

 

WELL AT LAST I'VE LANDED BACK SAFE  NOW FOLKS IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HOME AND DRY.  

 

VEGETABLES BEER WINE AND TURKEY PLANTS HALF A COW AND MY TREE.

 

I TOLD YOU MY WHEELBARROWS HANDY AND IT'S TRIMMED UP WITH  BELLS TOO    HE-HE !!!

 

ARE YOU IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT YET ? IF NOT DO THE SAME AS ME.

 

COME ON AND TRIM YOUR SIDEBAR UP NOW FOR ALL  J/LAND TO SEE.

 

THEN GET YOUR SHOPPERS OUT MY FRIENDS  AND TRIM THEM ALL UP TOO.

 

YOU HAVE GOT TO HAVE FUN  AT CHRISTMAS AND BE JOLLY NOT FEELING BLUE.

 

I KNOW YOU THINK I'M A NUTTER BUT IT'S BETTER THAN BEING A BORE..............

 

OH! AND I BOUGHT A NEW SHINY CLEAVER TO DO  MY  COW CHOPPING CHORE.

 

WELL I'M OFF TO PUT MY WHEELBARROW AWAY NOW AND CHOP UP THE COW IF IV'E TIME .

 

I HOPE MOTHERHENS MADE YOU CHUCKLE AGAIN  HERE IN  "MY SIMPLE RHYME"

 

 

                                                       

                                            

       THIS WHEELBARROW WEIGHS A TON LOL!!

                                                               

                               HE-HE !!!!

            WATCH THIS SPACE!!

 

 

  " IT'S PREZZY AND CHRISTMAS OUTFIT SHOPPING NEXT "

 

 

             

                         

            

 

 

 

                 

                                            

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"HOW I HAVE BEEN IN THE NIGHT"

 

         

                  

I THOUGHT I WOULD WRITE YOU AN UPDATE FRIENDS OF HOW I HAVE BEEN IN THE NIGHT.

 

I WOKE UP AT 2AM THIS MORNING  MY STOMACH WAS FEELING SO TIGHT.

 

PAINS WERE SHOOTING EVERYWHERE I COULDN'T EVEN SIT.

 

I FELT TO BE IN LABOUR AND SHOUTED OUT THIS IS IT.

 

THE BABY'S DUE AND READY I CALLED OUT TO ROOSTER MY MAN.

 

EITHER THAT OR AGAIN MY STOMACH DIDN'T LIKE THAT FRANZIPAN.

 

FOR YOU OUT THERE IN USA A FRANZIPANS A SMALL CAKE.

 

WITH A PASTRY CASE AND FILLED UP WITH MIXTURE THEN YOU SIMPLY BAKE.

 

MARZIPAN IS THE FLAVOURING AND I JUST LOVE THEM SO.

 

WELL LAST NIGHT BEFORE BEDTIME I HAD ONE SO I KNOW.

 

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN  THAT BECAUSE MY FRIENDS IT SEEMS EACH TIME I EAT.

 

THESE CAKES I HAVE TO SIT LOP SIDED ONLY ON ONE CHEEEK.    HE-HE.

 

WELL AS THE PAINS GOT STRONGER ROOSTER WAS SO SCARED .

 

HE MADE MY DRINK BUT THEN AS USUALY HIS OPINION HE AIRED.

 

MOTHERHEN WHY DO YOU EAT THEM WHEN YOU KNOW THEY MAKE YOU ILL.

 

KNOWING THEY WILL CAUSE YOU PAIN AND THEN YOU CARN'T SIT STILL.

 

PACING UP AND DOWN I WAS TRAPPED WIND IS REALY BAD.

 

AND WHEN YOU CANNOT FREE IT YOU FEEL AS IF YOUV'E HAD.

 

A REALY LARGE SHOT OF HELLIUM YOUR STOMACH IT DOES SWELL.

 

THEN I LOOK NINE MONTHS PREGNANT I FEEL LIKE IT AS WELL.

 

MY STOMACHS GETTING BIGGER BUT STILL I TRY TO LAUGH.

 

I SHOUT OUT GET MY PEPPERMINT QUICK WILL YOU FOR LAUGHING KATH.

 

ROOSTER RUNS TO THE DRINKS CABINET AND I SAY PLEASE BOIL THE KETTLE.

 

ADD SOME TO MY CUP OF PEPPERMINT THIS WILL HELP TO SETTLE.

 

OH! NO THE PAIN IS HERE AGAIN QUICK THE BABY'S COMING.

 

PAINS AGAIN SHOOT EVERYWHERE AND SOMETHING IT IS RUMBLING .

 

ROOSTERS LOOKING WORRIED HE'S FLAPPING HERE AND THERE.

 

HALF ASLEEP HIS FACE IS DRAWN HE'S ANGRY BUT I KNOW HE CARES.

 

HE SAYS IF YOU BRING ANYMORE FRANZIPANS INO THIS FLAT AGAIN.

 

THERE GETTING DUMPED IN THE NORTH SEA I AM SICK OF YOU IN PAIN.

 

WHY DO YOU PECK THEM REPEATEDLY HE KEEPS CLUCKING ON AT ME.

 

BECAUSE I LOVE THEM AND THEY TEMPT ME CARN'T YOU FLIPPING SEE.

 

WELL FEATHERS THEY GOT RUFFLED BY THIS TIME IT'S  FOUR 'O'CLOCK.

 

THE BABY IT STILL HASN'T ARRIVED AND HE'S AN ANGRY COCK. HE-HE .

 

STILL THE FLOOR I AM PACEING BESIDES ALL THIS I HAVE GOT.

 

A CHEST INFECTION BOTHERING ME SO I START TO SWAT.

 

WHILE ON THE MOVE I'M STUDYING A RHYME TO WRITE TO YOU ALL.

 

JOTTING DOWN WHILST ON THE MOVE IN AND OUT OF THE HALL.

 

THE PEPPERMINT IT WENT DOWN WELL THEN STARTED TO WORK THROUGH.

 

I CAN HEAR QUITE A WIND GETTING UP TONIGHT ROOSTER SHOUTS CAN YOU. HE-HE.

 

HAVE YOU ANY IDEA AT ALL MOTHERHEN WHEN THAT BABY'S DUE.

 

I'M TIRED OUT AND IV'E TO WORK IT'S ALRIGHT FOR SUCH AS YOU.

 

WELL I KNOW I'M IN THE LATE STAGES BECAUSE THE PAIN IS LOW.

 

BUT IT'S AGONY AND TO THE BATHROOM  NOW I THINK I'LL HAVE TO GO.

 

WELL DON'T LOCK YOURSELF IN HE CLUCKS  LEAVE AJAR THE DOOR.

 

I DON'T WANT YOU HAVING THAT BABY ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR.

 

ALL OF A SUDDEN IT THUNDERS AND MOTHERHEN SHE STARTS TO LAUGH.

 

MY PERSONALITY CHANGES NOW AND I'M NOW LAUGHING KATH.

 

IN THE DISTANCE FROM THE WIND AND THUNDER ROOSTER STARTS TO YELL.

 

I THINK IT  MUST BE LIGHTENING TOO  I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK I CAN TELL.

 

THE GABLE END OF THE FLATS FELL DOWN  IV'E JUST HEARD THE LOUDEST THUMP.

 

AND I DON'T THINK YOUR HAVING A BABY AT ALL I THINK YOU JUST NEEDED TO T- - - - .    HE-HE

 

SO MY PAINS ALL GONE AND I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER BUT THE LABOUR WAS HARD AND CRUEL.

 

SO FOR MOTHERHEN NO MORE FRANZIPANS JUST PENTY OF VEG AND GRUEL.

 

IF THE NEIGHBOURS ASK THIS AFTERNOON IF I HEARD THE THUNDER LAST NIGHT.

 

I'LL ANSWER DID I HEAR  IT ??? I CERTAINLY DID TOO RIGHT.!!!!

 

NOW MY CHEST DOESN'T FEEL QUITE LIKE SANDPAPER AND MY PAINS HAVE EASED TO NIL.

 

AFTER A KIP I MIGHT BE ABLE TO COMMENT NOW AND SIT STILL.      HE-HE.

 

IT'S ALMOST SEVEN  THIRTY AND IT'S FLOWN ROUND TO ROOSTERS WORKTIME.

 

SO I'M  GOING BACK TO NODDY LAND  NOW  IV'E DONE YOU   " MY SIMPLE RHYME"

 

 

(HOPEFULLY  ALL BEEN WELL I WILL BE COMMENTING AFTER LUNCH I AM FEELING BRIGHTER LOL!! ).

 

THANKYOU FOR ALL YOUR WELL WISHES THEY ARE SO MUCH APPRECIATED.

 

         

 

 

"SHINE A LIGHT"

 

 

 

 

CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHY ALL THE LIGHTBULBS SEEM TO POP.

 

AT NIGHT WHEN ALL THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED AND YOU ARE OUT OF STOCK.

 

I WENT  INTO THE KITCHEN AFTER DARK AND I SWITCHED ON.

 

GOOD GRIEF THE LIGHTBULB POPS AND THAT ONE NOW HAS GONE.

 

I'D JUST BEEN IN THE BEDROOM  WHERE THAT LIGHT POPPED ON ME.

 

I'M TRYING TO FIND A REPLACEMENT NOW IN THE KITCHEN AND I CARN'T SEE.

 

I FUMBLE ABOUT IN THE DARKNESS SEARCHING FOR ONE AND VENT..

 

THE DRAWER IS EMPTY LOW AND BEHOLD ALL THE BULBS ARE SPENT.

 

I THEN GO TO THE BATHROOM TO SOAK IN ALL MY SUDS.

 

ON ENTERING POP THE LIGHTBULB GOES NOW I HAVE THREE DUDS.

 

I'M SPLASHING IN THE BATHTUB ALL IS DARK NOT BRIGHT.

 

IT'S A RIGHT JOB TRYING TO HAVE A BATH WHEN THERE IS NO LIGHT.

 

THE SOAP I CANNOT FIND IT AND MY FACECLOTHS MISSING TOO.

 

I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL GO ON WHEN I WANT TO USE THE LOO.

 

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SCRUBBING MY LEFT LEG FROM MY RIGHT.

 

I HOPE I DON'T LEAVE MUCK RAWKS COS  IT'S DARK IN HERE TONIGHT. HE-HE..

 

I GO BACK IN THE KITCHEN TO MAKE MY  NICE HOT CUP.

 

OF HORLICKS FOR MY BEDTIME AND THE FRIDGE IT ISN'T LIT UP.

 

THE FRIDGE BULB NOW HAS POPPED ON ME THIS GETS BEYOND A JOKE.

 

I'VE NOT ENJOYED MY BATH TONIGHT IN MY BUBBLES I LOVE TO SOAK.

 

I FEEL MY WAY TO THE LOUNGE AND SAY TO PARTNER THINGS ARE BLEAK.

 

YOU WILL HAVE TO DO SOME OVERTIME EVERY NIGHT NEXT WEEK.

 

HE ANSWERS WHY I SAY TO HIM WE NEED ANOTHER  WAGE.

 

JUST TO RENEW THE LIGHTBULBS AND I'M REALY IN A RAGE.

 

I ASK HIM WHY HE'S SAT IN THE DARK HE ANSWERS WELL YOU SEE.

 

THE BULB IN THE LAMP WENT OUT EARLIER AND HE'D  FORGOTTON  TO TELL ME.

 

I'M OK WITH THE LIGHT  FROM THE WINDOW WITH THAT BIG FULL MOON.

 

ISN'T THERE ANY IN THAT BIG WHITE BOX DOWN  IN THE SPARE ROOM .

 

SO I FUMBLE DOWN THERE AND LOW AND BEHOLD THAT ONE FLIPPING POPS.

 

JUST AS I'M ROUTING ROUND TO FIND THE FLIPPING BIG WHITE BOX.

 

THE QUOTE OF VICTOR MILDREW WHEN HE WAS A GREAT BIG HIT.

 

RAN  THROUGH MY MIND WHAT HE USED TO SAY "I DONT BLOODY BE- LIEVE IT!   HE-HE.

 

PARTNER SAYS I'LL SECURE THE CAR BEFORE I GO TO BED.

 

GUESS WHAT HE'S JUST COME BACK AND HE HAS BANGED HIS FLIPPING HEAD.

 

THE SECURITY LIGHTS GONE OUT DOWN THERE IT SHINES FOR US ON THE BIN.

 

AND HE COULDN'T SEE TO PLACE THE DUDS INSIDE WHEN HE PUT THEM IN.

 

HE LIFTED THE LID WHICH HE THOUGHT WAS ENOUGH BUT NO IT WAS ONLY HALF WAY.

 

AND IT DROPPED BACK DOWN ON HIS HEAD GOOD GRIEF WHAT A FLIPPING DAY.

 

I SAID WELL NEVER MIND DEAR FOR MORNING I WILL MAKE.

 

A CANDLE ON A SAUCER FOR YOU WILL SEE IF THAT YOU TAKE..

 

NO FEAR HE SAID I'LL BE OK! I'M NOT CARRYING ONE OF THEM.

 

I'LL MANAGE THANKYOU I'M NOT LIKE YOU THEY DON'T CALL ME " OLD MOTHEREHEN".

 

WELL FANCY THAT !!! WHAT DO YOU THINK ? HASN'T HE GOT A CHEEK.

 

SO I WAITED UNTIL HE WENT IN THE BATH AND UP ON HIM I SNEAKED.

 

                             

 

                           

IN THE DARK I POURED COLD WATER OVER HIM WITH A BIG CHEESY GRIN.

 

HE JUMPED UP LIKE A CAT ON HOT BRICKS I JUST WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN HIM.

 

HE SAID WHO IS  THAT WHO'S  MESSING AROUND THAT WAS FLIPPING COLD.

 

WELL IT'S NOT "OLD MOTHERHEN " IT'S ME " LAUGHING KATH " AND I'M NOT OLD.

HE-HE.

 

I THINK HE'LL TAKE A CANDLE NEXT TIME WHEN THERES NO ELECTRICITY.

 

AND HE WON'T BE  "RODG THE ROOSTER"BUT "OLD WEE WILLIE WINKY" HE-HE.

 

WELL TODAY I GOT AN ELECTRICIAN OUT  TO CHECK UP JUST  TO SEE.

 

IF ALL THE ELECTRICS WERE OK! HE PASSED THEM AND HE  ASSURED ME.

 

EVERYTHINGS FINE HE SAID TO ME  IT'S YOUR LIGHTBULBS THAT MUST BE  WEAK.

 

SO TOMORROW IT'S A TRIP TO TOWN MY FRIENDS FOR LIGHTBULBS I HAVE TO SEEK.

 

I'VE MADE MY NOTE OF WHAT I'M GOING FOR I NEED TO GET THEM ALL.

 

TULIP BULBS AND RED FIRE BULBS AND PINK ONES FOR THE HALL.

 

HALLOGEN FOR THE BATHROOM AND GOLF BALL ONES THAT ARE SMALL. 

 

A STRIP LIGHT FOR THE KITCHEN AND SOME FOR THE FRIDGE ANALL..

 

WITH ALL THE WATTAGES ON IT THEY WILL THINK THAT IV'E GONE MAD.

 

WHEN I ASK THEM FOR A DOZEN OF EACH  I'LL NEED A FLIPPING BIG BAG.

 

OH AND I NEED SOME CLEANING FOAM AS WELL TO SCRUB THE MUCK OFF THE BATH.

 

WHAT I MAY HAVE MISSED  IN THE DARK WHEN I BATHED COS I'M AS BLIND AS A BAT.. 

 

IF I TRIP COMING HOME AND THE LIGHTBULBS POP IT WILL SOUND LIKE A FLIPPING WAR ZONE.

 

WITH ME LAID OUT THERE SPARKO IN THE GUTTER  COVERED IN GLASS AND FOAM.    HE-HE.

 

I AM SURE TODAY THE LIGHTBULBS DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A LONG LIFE.

 

NOT LIKE THEY USED TO WHEN I FIRST WED AND I BECAME A WIFE.

 

AND I DO NOT LIKE THOSE ENERGY SAVERS THEY STICK OUT ABOVE YOUR SHADE .

 

IF YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR LAMPS HAVE YOU NOTICED SMALLER THEY SHOULD BE MADE.

 

DO YOUR LIGHBULBS MY J/LAND FRIENDS ALL POP AT THE SAME TIME.

 

LET ME KNOW IN YOUR COMMENTS PLEASE IF YOU WILL HERE IN "MY SIMPLE RHYME"

 

 

SHINE A LIGHT    I'LL BE GLAD WHEN I AM LIT UP AGAIN

 

 

"MY LATEST DREAM"

           

             

I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I PACKED AND LEFT MY HOME.

 

TO APPLY FOR  A JOB I'D SEEN AND I WAS ALL ALONE. .

 

I WALKED TO THE TRAIN STATION AND ASKED THE TICKET MAN.

 

HOW MUCH IT WOULD COST ME TO GO TO BIRMINGHAM.

 

I WAS SAT IN THE CHAIR READING AN ARTICLE IN MY DREAM.

 

AN ADVERT FOR EMPLOYMENT IN A LOCAL MAGAZINE.

 

THE ADVERTISMENT THERE I THOUGHT LOOKED  VERY GOOD.

 

SO  I STARTED THINKING YES THATS ME  I THINK THAT  I COULD.

 

FIT LADIES THEY WERE NEEDING AND YOU ALSO HAD TO BRING .

 

YOUR UNiCYCLE WITH YOU  TO PERFORM  ALL ROUND THE RING.

 

YES FOR THE CIRCUS SO I DRESSED AND OFF I SET.

 

ALL DOLLED  UP AND LOOKING GREAT YES MY VERY BEST YET.

 

STANDING AT THE OFFICE  I SAID TO THE TICKET MAN

 

HOW MUCH DO I NEED THEN TO GET TO BIRMINGHAM.

 

THE TICKET MAN REPLIED IT'S TWENTY POUND RETURN.

 

SO I SAID GIVE ME A SINGLE TICKET VERY VERY FIRM.

 

WHEN I GET TO THAT CIRCUS I'M NOT COMING BACK.

 

THIS CAREER IS FOR ME AND I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK.   HE-HE.

 

WELL HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND SAID LADY I'M NOT SURE.

 

I THINK YOU ARE TOO OLD AND THEY'LL SHOW YOU TO THE DOOR.

 

TOO OLD I SAID !!!  YOUR JOKING I'M ONLY SIXTY TWO.

 

AND I'M THE BEST UNICYCLIST  FROM HERE TO TIMBUKTU.

 

HE LOOKED AT ME SO STRANGE AND HE REALY DID  INSIST.

 

THAT I WAS TOO OLD AND MY THOUGHTS HE TRIED TO TWIST.

 

GIVE ME A TICKET PLEASE I'LL SOON BE  IN DEMAND.

 

WITH THAT HE HANDED OVER ONE AND PLACED IT IN MY HAND.

 

I WAITED ON THE PLATFORM AND THE TRAIN CAME RUMBLING IN.

 

IN MY HAND MY UNICYCLE AND MY DREAM WAS TO BEGIN.

 

I JUMPED ON THE TRAIN AND THERE I SETTLED DOWN.

 

OPPOSITE ME A HUNKY  GUY LOOKING TANNED AND BROWN.

 

HELLO DEAR HE SAID TO ME ARE YOU GOING  FAR.

 

YES I'M UNICYCLING  AT THE CIRCUS  HOO !! LA - LA.

 

THE CIRCUS HE REPLIED WITH A STRANGE LOOK ON HIS FACE.

 

YOU MUST BE JOKING  LADY  YOU JUST WON'T STAND THE PACE.

 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SAID  I'M FIT AS A LOP.

 

I'LL BE THE STAR OF THE SHOW AT THE CIRCUS BIG TOP.

 

I WAS GETTING KIND OF ANGRY BY THIS TIME DON'T YOU SEE.

 

THE TICKET MAN AND NOW THIS HUNK WERE BOTH DEGRADING ME.

 

THEN SUDDENLY  THE TRAIN IT CAME TO A STOP.

 

I WOKE UP IN MY BED AND I WAS STEAMING HOT.

 

MY PARTNER WAS SAT UP STRAIGHT AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID..

 

"YOUR LEGS AND ARMS  ARE EVERYWHERE YOUV'E SMACKED  ME ON THE HEAD" .  HE-HE

 

I MUST HAVE BEEN IN  DEEP SLEEP CYCLING IN MY DREAM.

 

FLYING ROUND THE BIG TOP RING FEELING LIKE A QUEEN. 

 

I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER THAT I'D BEEN GIVEN THE JOB.

 

BUT WHEN I  CYCLED ROUND THE RING I WAS SWEATING COBS.

 

I THOUGHT IT WAS SO STRANGE AS LAST WEEK IN KRISSY'S POST.

 

SHE HAD ASKED WHAT JOB YOU'D LIKE IN THE CIRCUS RING THE MOST.

 

I PLACED IN MY COMMENT THERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE.

 

A UNICYCLIST AS I'D ALWAYS FANCIED THIS YOU SEE.

 

THEN TO READ THIS ADVERT IN  SUCH A VERY SHORT TIME..

 

IT ALL MUST HAVE BEEN SO REAL IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.

 

MY PARTNER SAID "MOTHERHEN DEAR " PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

 

DON'T DREAM TOMORROW OF THOSE LEAVES   YOU HAVE TO RAKE   .

 

IF YOU LAND OUT WITH ONE OF THEM WHILST YOU ARE ASLEEP.

 

A TRAIN TICKET I'M BUYING MYSELF TO TIMBUCTU FOR  KEEPS.     HE-HE.

 

SO I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS PICTURE OF ME HAVING A GREAT TIME.

 

UNICYCLING  AT THE CIRCUS  IN   " MY SIMPLE RHYME "

 

 

                        

                            

 

 

         

               

 

              HE-HE-HE !!!!!    LOL!!!!!!