"FIRE IN THE FLAT"

 

 

I WAS HARD AND FAST  ASLEEP THIS MORNING ROUND ABOUT HALF PAST THREE.

 

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN CAME A VERY LOUD PIERCING SCREAMING NOISE IT SOUNDED TO ME. 

 

I WAS HALF ASLEEP AND BOGEYED AND I WONDERED WHERE IT CAME FROM.

 

WHEN PARTNER JUMPED OUT OF BED SO QUICK AND SAID COME ON MOTHERHEN QUICK RUN.

 

RUN I SAID WHERE TO AT THIS TIME  3-30AM DON'T BE DAFT .

 

THERES A FIRE IN THE FLAT HE SHOUTED THATS THE ALARM COME ON LAUGHING KATH.

 

MY GOD I YELLED AND I GRABBED MY DRESSING GOWN FIRST THOUGH I TOOK MY PURSE.

 

IF THERE WAS A FIRE I WANTED OUR  BANK CARDS AND THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT OF FIRST. HE-HE.

 

WELL WE RAN OUT THE FLAT AND DOWN THE STEPS AND WHEN WE GOT OUTSIDE.

 

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT  IF IT WERE ME I WOULD HAVE HAD TO HIDE.

 

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN SOME OF THE CREATIONS THAT THE FIRE ALARM WOKE UP.

 

I DON'T MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE AND  I DON'T USUALLY TALK ABOUT STUFF.

 

BUT I WAS SO SHOCKED I WAS STOOD THERE FROZEN AND I WAS QUITE WELL EQUIPPED .

 

IN A NICE NIGHTDRESS AND WARM DRESSING GOWN BUT SOME OF THEM HAD ON NO KIT. HE-HE.

 

STOOD IN THE ROAD WAS A WOMAN WITH A VERY FLIMSY SILK SHORT GOWN.

 

AND HER BOOBS WERE SHOWING THROUGH THE MATERIAL HUNG TO HER WAIST RIGHT DOWN.

 

A MAN STOOD BESIDE HER WAS WEARING A THONG AND I THOUGHT GOOD GRIEF HE WILL FREEZE.

 

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERED HIM A BLANKET HE SAID OH I DON'T MIND YES PLEASE.

 

THE SCREAMING NOISE WAS ECHOING OUT AND PIECING MY EARS REAL BAD.

 

I STARTED TO CRY BECAUSE I WAS THINKING THIS IS GOING TO END UP SAD.

 

I AM  JUST ABOUT TO LOSE EVERYTHING APART FROM WHATS IN MY PURSE.

 

AND MY POOTER WILL BE GONE AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO WRITE YOU ANY MORE VERSE. HE-HE

 

I WAS PRAYING TO GOD THAT EVERYONE GOT OUT AND REALY UPSET WAS I.

 

THE ROOSTER WAS CUDDLING ME AND TRYING TO REASURE ME AS HE WIPED DRY MY EYE.

 

A GUY CAME OVER CALLED ELVIS HE IS THE CARETAKER OF THE BLOCK.

 

AND HE IS SHOUTING OUT TO EVERYONE  ARE YOU ALL OK OLD COCKS.

 

WHEN A GUY IN SOME PALE BLUE LONG JOHNS SAID WHERES THE BLOODY FIRE BRIGADE. HE-HE

 

HE REPLIED OH WE DON'T NEED THEM SORRY IT'S A SILLY MISTAKE I HAVE MADE.

 

MISTAKE ALL THESE VOICES WERE SHOUTING WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT.

 

WELL IV'E BEEN FOR A PINT TO A BIT OF A DO IT WAS LATE WHEN I GOT BACK TO MY FLAT.

 

I GOT INSIDE AND I MADE SOME TOAST AND I BURNT IT YOU SEE AND SO.

 

THE ALARM IT SET OFF AND IT GOES TO EVERYONE TO LET ALL THE WHOLE BLOCK KNOW.

 

THERES A FIRE IN THE FLATS  AND SO WHEN I RAN OUT I COULDNT' REMEMBER THE CODE.

 

TO STOP THE ALARM AND BEFORE I KNEW IT ALL THE STREET HAD OVERFLOWED.

 

WITH   PEOPLE LIKE YOU STOOD ABOUT IN THERE NIGHTWARE AND NOW I HAVE JUST RANG UP.

 

THE LANDLORD TO ASK IF HE CAN COME OUT SO  INTO THE ALARM HE'LL PUT.

 

THE CODE TO STOP IT SCREAMING THEN YOU CAN ALL GO BACK TO BED.

 

WELL ONE FELLOW SHOUTED YOU WANT SACKING MATE YOUR NOT RIGHT IN YOUR BLOODY  HEAD HE-HE.

 

SO MY TEARS THEY TURNED TO LAUGHTER AND I JUST COULDN'T STOP AT ALL.

 

I WAS LOOKING ROUND AT THE FANCY GEAR IT WAS BETTER THAN A  RAGTIME BALL. HE-HE.

 

LONG JOHNS AND SHORTY NIGHTIES BRIEFS AND THONGS AND STUFF.

 

ONE WOMAN HAD A BIG BAGGY JUMPER ON AND A PAIR OF JOGGERS SHE LOOKED  ROUGH.

 

SHE KEPT SAYING THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE SLEPT IN THESE JOGGERS BUT I'M COLD.

 

I KNOW I LOOK A MESS BUT WHO CARES SHE SAID I'M ALWAYS FROZEN NOW I'M OLD.

 

I AM SUCH A GIDDY PERSON AND THE ROOSTER WAS PLAYING POP.

 

BECAUSE I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING AT ALL THESE FOLKS BUT I COULDN'T STOP.

 

BY THIS TIME I WAS PERISHED AND SOME STOOD  THEY DIDN'T HAVE A CARE.

 

BUT WE COULDN'T GO INSIDE BECAUSE THE ALARM WOULD HAVE DAMAGED OUR EAR DRUMS BACK IN THERE.

 

I HAVE NEVER HEARD SUCH A PIERCING SOUND AS STRONG AS THIS BEFORE.

 

AND LET ME SAY I AM HOPING AFTER LAST NIGHT I NEVER HERE IT ANYMORE.

 

PARTNER WAS GETTING AGGREVATED AND I KNEW THAT HE WAS ANNOYED.

 

BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WORKS YOU SEE ALL THE OTHERS ARE NOT EMPLOYED .

 

OUR BLOCK IS FULL OF  INVALID OR FOLKS RETIRED TO THE COAST  YOU SEE.

 

AND ALL HE KEPT SAYING WAS IT'S OK FOR THEM THEY DON'T HAVE TO GO TO WORK LIKE ME.

 

AT 6-30AM IN THE MORNING AND HE WAS WISHING  THE LANDLORD WOULD SOON COME.

 

AND HURRY UP AND TURN IT OFF ALL TOWN WILL WONDER WHERE THE NOISE IS FROM.

 

WELL EVENTUALLY HE CAME AND HE TURNED IT OFF SO WE WENT INSIDE AT LAST.

 

AND BEFORE WE KNEW IT IT WAS HALF PAST SIX AND THREE HOURS HAD ALREADY PAST.

 

SO PARTNER WENT TO WORK AS USUAL AND AS THE TIME DID PASS.

 

ALL I COULD DO WAS LAUGH TO MYSELF AT THIS GUY IN THE THONG AND THAT OLD LASS.

 

I THOUGHT TO MYSELF FLIPPING HECK WE HAVE KINKIES IN OUR BLOCK LIVING HERE.

 

TWO MIDDLE AGED PEOPLE IN THERE FIFTIES GOING TO BED IN THAT KIND OF GEAR. HE-HE.

 

ANYWAY FOLKS THANK GOODNESS IT WAS ALL A FALSE ALARM.

 

AND LAUGHING KATH AND EVERYONE ELSE DIDN'T COME TO ANY  HARM.

 

BUT ROOSTER SAID TO ELVIS WHEN WE WERE COMING INSIDE.

 

DON'T MAKE ANY MORE TOAST WHEN YOUR GASSED UP OR I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR BACKSIDE.   HE-HE.

 

SO FOR NOW I MUST RUSH AS I AM STILL MAKING THINGS FOR THIS CHRISTMAS TIME.

 

BUT I JUST THOUGHT I'D POP ONLINE AND TELL THE LATEST HERE IN " MY SIMPLE RHYME "  HE-HE.

 

 

                       SO THIS HAD TO BE MISSED TODAY LOL!!!!

 

                                                                  

                                                     

 

                                                 HE-HE -HE  !!!!!!!