" THE FREE GIFT"

       

 

   LAST NIGHT WHILST I WAS BUSY I HEARD MY DOORBELL RING.

 

I SHOUTED TO PARTNER ANSWER THAT PLEASE TO SEE IF GOOD NEWS IT BRINGS.

 

BUT HE DIDN'T SEEM TO HEAR ME SO I GOT UP AND I WENT.

 

TO THE DOOR TO ANSWER IT AND THERE STOOD DES  MY NEIGHBOUR HE LOOKED WELL SPENT.

 

HE WAS PUFFING AND HE WAS BLOWING AND VERY MUCH OUT OF BREATH.

 

THE NIGHT BEFORE I'D HEARD HIM AND HE FRIGHTENED ME TO DEATH.

 

I HAD GONE OUTSIDE TO ASK HIM IF EVERYTHING WAS OK.

 

HE REPLIED OH! YES KATH IT'S MY ASTHMA IT'S SO  BAD TODAY.

 

WELL LAST NIGHT HE RANG FOR A DIFFERANT REASON HE WANTED TO ASK ME.

 

IF I WANTED ANY FRESH EGGS FROM HIM THE REASON BEING YOU SEE. 

 

HIM AND PARTNER JAN DOWNSTAIRS NOW HAVE GOT A LITTLE PLOT .

 

JUST OUTSIDE OF TOWN AND NOW THEY BOTH HAVE BOUGHT A LOT.

 

OF TINY LITTLE CHICKENS AND HENS FOR THEM TO LAY.

 

FRESH EGGS FOR HIM TO DELIVER TO ALL HIS FRIENDS HE KNOWS EACH DAY.

 

THEY HAVE ALSO PLANTED VEGETABLES CAULIFLOWER CABBAGE AND STUFF.

 

LOTS OF FLOWERS HE'D HAD A BUSY DAY SO WHEN HE KNOCKED HE WAS OUT OF PUFF.

 

 

WELL THE STORY I DECIDED TO TELL YOU BECAUSE IT  WAS A LAUGH.

 

WHEN JAN SHE FOLLOWED HIM UP THE STEPS AND I ASKED THEM BOTH INTO KATHS.

 

I MADE THEM A NICE HOT CUPPA AND  WE HAD A NICE CHINWAG SO.

 

I ORDERED ONE DOZEN EGGS OFF THEM BEFORE THEY HAD TO GO.

 

ON LEAVING JAN SAID OH BY THE WAY KATH I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

 

DES WAS DISSAPOINTED TODAY HE'S BEEN FEELING A LITTLE BLUE.

 

AS WHEN HE IS AT THE  ALLOTMENT AND HE GOES DOWN TO THE PEN.

 

HE TAKES HIS EARING AID OUT AT THIS TIME TO BEND DOWN AND FEED ALL OF THE HENS.

 

HE PUTS HIS EARING AID IN HIS POCKET WHILST HE SCATTERS THE MEAL OUT FAR. 

 

AS SOME TIMES THE SOUND IS FAR TOO GREAT FOR HIM FROM ALL THE PASSING CARS.

 

WELL WHEN WE CAME HOME THIS EVENING AND  HE WENT TO TAKE A BATH.

 

HE SAID WHEN I AM WASHED AND CHANGED WE'LL GO SEE OUR NEIGHBOUR KATH.

 

WHILST BATHING JAN  HEARD HIM SHOUTING JAN IV'E SEARCHED ALL O'RE.  (OVER)

 

AND I CANNOT FIND MY EARING AID I MUST HAVE LOST IT ON THE FLOOR. HE-HE.

 

WELL JAN SHE STARTED TELLING HIM IV'E TOLD YOU UMPTEEN TIMES.

 

TO LEAVE IT AT HOME WHEN WE GO UP THERE AND ALL WOULD THEN BE FINE.

 

IT'S ONE OF THE LATEST MODELS SO VERY SMALL IN SIZE.

 

SO SHE TELLS HIM TO BE VERY CAREFULL WITH IT AS IT'S HARD TO SEE WITH THE EYES.

 

JAN SAID TO ME  THE MORAL OF MY STORY WHEN YOUR EGGS ON FRIDAY I  BRING.

 

AND YOU CRACK ONE OPEN DON'T BE ALARMED IF AN EARING AID WHISLES AND SINGS.

 

NO YOU HAVN'T GOT A FREE GIFT IT'S DES'S  EARING AID  HE'S MISPLACED .

 

HENRIETTA THE HEN AT THE ALOTTMENT MIGHT HAVE FANCIED IT AND HAD A TASTE.

HE-HE.

 

WEV'E SEARCHD AND SEARCHED ALL OVER AND NO EARING AID'S  TURNED UP YET.

 

SO ONE OF THE HENS MUST HAVE EATEN IT AND SOMEONES BOUND TO GET.

 

A FREE GIFT IN AN EGG ONE DAY AND WONDER WHERE IT'S  COME FROM..

 

I DREAD TO HAVE TO TELL THEM IT'S FROM HENRIETTA'S BUM. HE-HE

 

SHE SAID TO ME IV'E BEEN THINKING I AM GLAD IT WASN'T SWITCHED ON.

 

OR OLD HENRIETTA WILL BE WONDERING WHERE ALL THE SOUNDS COMING FROM..

 

YOU SEE THE SWITCH IS FAULTY AND WHEN DES HE TURNS IT OFF.

 

NOTHING HAPPENS THE SOUNDS STILL THERE AND HE BEGINS TO SCOFF.

 

JAN SAID HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE IT ISN'T IT JUST A FARSE.

 

IF WE FIND IT AND WE HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE IT WAS UP  HENRIETTA'S   A---.   HE-HE. (EXCUSE ME)

 

THEY NEVER WOULD BELIEVE US KATH WOULD THEY NOW I'M SURE.

 

WELL THEN I STARTED LAUGHING I WAS ROLLING ON THE FLOOR.

 

OH DON'T YOU WORRY JAN I SAID IV'E FOUND WORSE THINGS THAN THAT.

 

I ONCE FOUND A FULL SET OF FALSE TEETH ONE NIGHT AND THEY WERE MOWING MY GRASS HE-HE.

 

SO NOW WE ARE ALL WAITING TO SEE WHO GETS THE FREE GIFT IN TIME.

 

AND I'LL LET YOU ALL KNOW IF IT WAS ME IN MY NEXT  "SIMPLE RHYME "HE-HE.

 

 

                                                    HE-HE-HE!!!!!

 

                                            KATH