"THIS WILL BE THE REASON"

IT'S 3-30AM EARLY MORNING ONCE AGAIN I CANNOT SLEEP.

IV'E BEEN IN BED SINCE 10PM AND HAVN'T HAD A PEEP.

TOSSED AND TURNED AND FELT REAL BAD I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG.

JUST LATELY THOUGH IV'E WONDERED IF IT'S PAST I DWELL UPON.

THINGS WHICH HAVE SO TROUBLED ME I CARN'T GET OFF MY MIND.

NO MATTER WHAT I TRY TO DO THERE STILL AROUND I FIND.

IT SEEMS I GO FOR A FEW MONTHS AND EVERTHINGS OK!!

THEN I WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND I'M BACK DOWN BIRTHPLACE WAY.

MY HOME I CALL IT LIVING THERE FOR 58 LONG YEARS.

BUT THE LAST TWELVE THERE BROUGHT SADNESS AND ALSO LOTS OF TEARS.

YET STILL I MISS IT BADLY AND I KNOW I CARN'T GO BACK.

THERE'S TOO MANY REASONS WHY THIS IS BUT LIVING HERE I LACK.

THE COMPANY OF PEOPLE I DON'T SEEM TO MEET A SOUL.

I'M VERY LONELY EVERY DAY AND THIS WAS NOT MY GOAL.

I THOUGHT IN MOVING TO THE COAST  2 YRS AGO A NEW LIFE.

THE NEIGHBOURS ARE SO FEW AND EACH OF THEM OUT WITH THERE WIFE.

I HARDLY EVER SEE THEM  THE OTHERS ARE AT WORK.

A GARDEN NOW I DO NOT HAVE MY FAVOURITE PLACE  TO LURK.

WHEN WORK INSIDE MY HOME IS DONE THIS HELPED TO PASS MY DAY.

I'M FINDING I'M SO VERY BORED AND CANNOT FIND A WAY.

TO OCCUPY MY MIND AT ALL IV'E TRIED MY VERY BEST.

MANY VARIED INTERESTS IV'E PUT OUT TO THE TEST.

BUT NONE OF THEM ARE WORKING AND NOT WELL ENOUGH TO FIND.

EVEN A PART TIME JOB OUT THERE TO OCCUPY MY MIND.

IS IT THE LONG LONG WINTER MONTHS OR THE BOREDOM OF THIS FLAT.

WITHOUT MY OWN FRONT DOOR I FEEL SHUT OFF AND OH SO TRAPPED.

BEING 61 THIS YEAR I'M NOT IN A POSITION.

TO START BUYING PROPERTY ONCE AGAIN SO THATS NOT THE DECISION

PERMANANT RENTS ARE SCANTY I WAS LUCKY TO GET THIS.

FACING THE SEA IS WONDERFUL BUT LOTS I STILL DO MISS.

I'M NOT ONE FOR GROUP MIXING IV'E TRIED THIS IN THE PAST.

WHEN MY NERVES WERE REALY BAD I TRIED AND IT DIDN'T LAST.

I'M ALMOST A TEA TOTAL GAL SO DON'T GO OUT TO PUBS.

IN THE EVENINGS LIKE SOME THOUGH IT'S BEEN SAID I SHOULD.

AND HAVE A COUPLE OF FRUIT JUICES TO TRY AND MEET NEW FRIENDS.

BUT IT'S NOT MY IDEA OF COMPANY AND SUGGESTIONS NEVER END.

EACH DAY I GO OUT FOR A WALK A LITTLE JUST TO SAY.

HELLO AND SMILE AT PEOPLE AS I GO ON MY WAY.

ONE CANNOT WALK FOREVER SO I TRUDGE BACK HOME ALONE.

THEN ONCE INSIDE AGAIN I'M FEELING SAD AND ALL ALONE.

IV'E HAD WORDS WITH MY DOCTOR AND HELP FROM THEM IS NIL.

THEN WHEN I CAME TO J/LAND I THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD FILL.

THIS EMPTY SPACE INSIDE ME BUT I'M FEELING BAD AGAIN.

STARTING TO GET DEPRESSED ONCE MORE AND FEELING JUST THE SAME.

AS WHEN I DID SOME YEARS AGO SO AM I IN A RUT.

I CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING MORE IN MY RHYME TO PUT.

SO IF YOU DO NOT HEAR FROM ME YOU'LL KNOW THAT I'M NOT WELL.

AND BECAUSE I'M BORED AND LONELY NOW I DON'T HAVE MUCH TO TELL.

MOST OF YOU HAVE GARDENS AND I'M DREADING READING ALL.

ABOUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS AND SHRUBS ALL LARGE AND  SMALL..

SPRINGING UP AROUND YOU IT MAKES ME WANT ONE TOO.

THEN WHEN I READ YOUR POSTINGS I'M BACK THEN FEELING BLUE.

I DO NOT DRIVE SO I CANNOT GET OUT SO VERY FAR.

LIKE OTHERS WHO TAKE SHORT TRIPS OUT TO BREAK THE DAY BY CAR.

SO YES I HAVE A PROBLEM AND I DON'T SEE A WAY OUT.

I DO HAVE OTHER HOBBIES BUT WITH THESE YOUR SAT ABOUT.

AND MY WEIGHT HAS SIMPLY  ROCKETED SO MUCH  MY HEAVIEST YET.

I FEEL THE GARDENING EVERY DAY KEPT ME SLIM I BET.

IT ALSO  KEPT ME ACTIVE BOTH IN MY BODY AND MIND.

ANOTHER INTEREST LIKE THIS I HAVE YET TO FIND.

I'LL CONTINUE TO PUT COMMENTS IN YOUR JOURNALS EVERY DAY.

AS I KNOW HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU MINE MEAN THE WORLD  I'LL SAY. 

I AM NOT LEAVING J/LAND BUT I DON'T FEEL THAT I CAN.

WRITESO MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE FEELING AS I AM.

SO ALL TAKE CARE  IF NO ALERT FROM ME FOR QUITE A TIME.

THIS WILL BE THE REASON I'M NOT WRITING SIMPLE RHYME.

ASTORIASAND        TAKE CARE GOD BLESS.