"THE PHONE CALL"

             "THE PHONE CALL"

I HAD TO MAKE A CALL A REFERANCE NUMBER TO GET.

THIS WAS MY WORST EVER PHONE CALL YET.                   

THE USUAL RECORDING TELLING WHICH KEYS TO PRESS.

SO I DID THIS CORRECTLY BET YOU'VE ALREADY GUESSED.

A VOICE SAID WE ARE BUSY.

THERES A TWENTY MINUTE WAIT.

WHILST I WAS STOOD THERE WAITING.

I WAS THEN TOLD TO PRESS EIGHT.

A VOICE THEN SAID SORRY I SHOULD HAVE PRESSED TWO.

THEN THIS FORIEGN CHAP CAME ON.

AND SAID CAN I HELP YOU.

HE ASKED ME FOR MY HOUSE NUMBER.

POST CODE AND ALL THAT.

I SAID IT'S NUMBER SEVEN.              

NOT A HOUSE BUT A FLAT.

OH! RIGHT HE SAID CAN YOU PLEASE.

JUST HOLD THE LINE.

I SAID IF YOUR NOT LONG.

THEN THIS WILL BE FINE.

IT WAS AGES BEFORE HE RETURNED TO THE LINE.

I WAS ALMOST OUT OF PACIENCE BY THIS FLIPPING TIME.

WELL LETS JUST SUPPOSE MY NAME IT IS WHITE.

I'D TOLD HIM THREE TIMES BUT HE COULDN'T GET IT RIGHT.

SO HE ANSWERED MRS ROBINSON I CANNOT FIND YOU.

I'LL JUST GO ASK MY BOSS MAN WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

I WAS REALY ANNOYED AS I WANTED IT RIGHT.

SO I SHOUTED OUT WAIT!!! MY NAME IT IS WHITE.

HE SAID OH! OF COURSE I'LL TRY AND GET THAT RIGHT.

LEAVE IT WITH ME I WON'T BE A TICK.

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE WAS TAKEING THE MICK

WHEN HE RETURNED HE ASKED ME MY NAME.

I SAID IT'S NOT CHANGED IT'S STILL JUST THE SAME.

I TOLD HIM AGAIN MY NAME AND FLAT SEVEN.

AND I LIVED ON THE COAST AND NOT COUNTY DURHAM.

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO BE TOLD.              

ONCE AGAIN HE REPLIED I AM PUTTING YOU ON HOLD.

I THOUGHT TO MYSELF I CARN'T BELIEVE THIS.

WILL HE EVER BE  RIGHT OH  HOW I DO WISH.

FORTY MINUTES PASSED HE STILL HAD NO CLUE.

WHERE I DID LIVE AND A NAME GIVEN NEW.

LETS ALL REMEMBER MY NAME IT IS WHITE.

BUT  ROBINSON HE SAID I WAS SO WOUND UP TIGHT.

HIS VOICE THEN ECHOED VERY QUICKLY AND SAID.

CAN YOU PLEASE RING TOMORROW

MY COMPUTERS GONE DEAD.

WITH THIS I YELLED OUT OH! THANKS VERY MUCH.

IS THIS ALL THATS OFFERED WHEN I GET IN TOUCH.         

HE REPLIED WELL I'VE PUT YOUR DETAILS IN NOW.

AND I'LL TRY TO HAVE REFERANCE BY MORNING SOMEHOW.

THANKYOU MRS ROBINSON FOR CALLING OUR LINE.

HAVE A GOOD DAY TILL WE SPEAK ANOTHER TIME.

NOT LIKELY I SAID WELL NO WAY WITH YOU.

YOU SOUND A RIGHT CHIMP AND BELONG IN THE ZOO.

I PUT DOWN THE PHONE AND SAID Grrrrrr GIVE ME STRENGTH

I'LL MAKE DO WITHOUT A FLIPPING REFERANCE.

SO MY NAME NOW IS ROBINSON INSTEAD OF BEING WHITE.

AND MY ADDRESS NUMBER THREE HE'S STILL NOT GOT IT RIGHT.

THIS PHONE CALL TOOK UP AN HOUR OF MY TIME.

AND I WASN'T EVEN GIVEN AN 0800 FREE LINE.

SO NOW I'V DECIDED TO WRITE A FEW LINES.

YES I'M GOING TO SEND HIM A SIMPLE RHYME .

I'LL SEND IT FIRST CLASS SO QUICK TO ARRIVE.

WELL THATS IF HE'S STILL HERE AND HE'S STILL ALIVE.

INTO HEAD OFFICE EXPLAINING MY CALL.

I BET YOU THOSE MONKEYS DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL.

I'LL WAIT FOR MY REFERANCE BUT WON'T BUILD UP HOPE.

COS BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THE BOSS MANS A DOPE.

                     

SATISFACTION I'LL GET GIVING  MY PIECE OF MIND

WRITTEN QUITE PLAINLY IN MY SIMPLE RHYME.

Astoriasand.

HAAAAAA!!!  IT WASN'T FUNNY THEN.

BUT I CAN LAUGH NOW.