"OH FOR THE GOOD OLD SCHOOLDAYS"

 

 

          

        

 

YES I'M BACK FROM MY HOLIDAYS J/LAND BUT THIS ISN'T AN HOLIDAY RHYME.

 

I HAVN'T UPLOADED MY PICTURES  YET SO I THOUGHT I WOULD POST THIS TIME.

 

ABOUT A PHOTO  I FOUND LAST NIGHT LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE.

 

PLUS A LITTLE STORY ABOUT MY SISTER AND A LITTLE ABOUT MYSELF.

 

OH! FOR THE GOOD OLD SCHOOLDAYS AND HOW I LOVED THEM SO.

 

WHEN VERY YOUNG I LOVED THEM AND WITH EAGERNESS I'D GO .

 

EACH AND EVERY MORNING UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.

 

LOOKING FORWARD ONCE AGAIN TO ANOTHER SCHOOLDAY MORN.

 

THEN ONE EVENING SADLY TRAGEDY STRUCK WHAT  A MESS.

 

MY SISTER WHILST DOING HER HOMEWORK CAUGHT FIRE HER FLANNEL NIGHTDRESS.

 

FATHER RUSHED OVER AND GRABBED HER QUICK AND ROLLED HER IN A RUG.

 

NOT TO MAKE HER COSY NOR TO MAKE HER NICE AND SNUG.

 

BUT TO DIE OUT ALL THE FLAMES WHICH RAGED AND ENVELOPED HER SO.

 

THE AMBULANCE CAME  AND TO THE HOSPITAL SISTER  MOTHER AND FATHER DID GO.

 

WELL THE STORY GOES MY FATHERS HANDS WERE VERY BADLY BURNED .

 

A LESSON DON'T SIT WITH YOUR BACK TO THE FIRE MY SISTER QUICKLY LEARNED.

 

MY MOTHER SHE WAS ILL WITH THE SHOCK AND THE THREE OF THEM YOU SEE.

 

WERE OUT OF ACTION SO EVERYTHING HAD TO BE DONE AT THAT TIME  BY ME.

 

THIS MEANT I HAD  A WEEK OFF SCHOOL TO HELP THEM ALL BACK THEN.

 

SO FATHER SENT OFF A LETTER TO THE HEAD TO TELL HIM WHEN .

 

MOTHER FELT MUCH BETTER I WOULD RETURN TO SCHOOL ONCE MORE.

 

I WAS VERY UPSET AND SAD THEY WERE BURNED AND ALL SO VERY SORE.

 

YET STILL MY HEART WAS LONGING TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN.

 

SO I TOO WAS A LITTLE SORE BECAUSE IN MY HEART I FELT A PAIN.

 

THEN CAME A LETTER FROM THE SCHOOL I'D WON A MEDAL HE-HE.

 

TWO YOUNG LADS AND ONLY ONE GIRL OUT OF ALL THE SCHOOL  YES ME.

 

FOR PERFECT ATTENDANCE THE HEADLINES  READ JUSTICE REAPS IT'S REWARDS.

 

THIS  THE TITLE IN THE LOCAL PAPER AND A PICTURE WITH OUR AWARDS.

 

FOR NEVER BEING LATE OR ABSENT FOR THE WHOLE OF ALL THREE YEARS.

 

AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOUR YEARS IF THAT EVENING HADN'T BROUGHT TEARS.

 

SO BECAUSE I HAD ONE WEEK OFF SCHOOL TO HELP OUT AT THAT SAD TIME .

 

THIS HAD BROKEN THE FOUR YEAR ATTENDANCE BUT ALL HAD TURNED OUT FINE.

 

WELL OFF  I WENT THIS WINTERS MORNING ALONG TO MEET THE PRESS.

 

HAIR DONE UP IN THE BOUFFANT (HE-HE) IN A CANDY STRIPED WOOL DRESS.

 

FOURTEEN YEARS OF AGE I WAS AND FEELING OH! SO PROUD.

 

THAT I HAD EARNED AN ATTENDANCE MEDAL CHEERED ON BY THE SCHOOL CROWD.

 

I CAME ACROSS THE PICTURE FRIENDS FROM THE PAPER JUST LAST NIGHT.

 

AND I LAUGHED MY LID OFF AT IT WELL  DON'T I LOOK A SIGHT.   HE-HE.

 

LOOK AT THE CRAZY HEADBAND  BUT THEY WERE ALL THE RAGE.

 

PLUS THE KISS CURLS ROUND MY CHEEKS HE-HE IN THE  HEADLINES ON THE FRONT PAGE.

 

I AM HAPPY TO ALSO TELL YOU THAT MY SISTER SHE DID REAL WELL.

 

NO SCARS FROM THE BURNS HER SKIN HEALED GREAT SO EVERYTHING TURNED OUT SWELL.

 

WELL HERES THE  PRESENTATION PIC COUNCILLOR BARNES IS SAYING WELL DONE.

 

FOR NEVER BEING LATE OR ABSCENT YES MY SCHOOLDAYS THEY WERE FUN.

 

     

 

     

 

THE MESSAGE  ON THE MEDALS  NOT PLAIN AS YOU ALL WILL SEE.

 

I DIDN'T WANT MY MAIDEN NAME SHOWING I HOPE YOU ALL AGREE.

 

I WORKED HARD  AND I DID MY  BEST AT SCHOOL AND I ALWAYS SHOWED RESPECT.

 

NEVER THINKING  I'D  GET A MEDAL AT ALL NO NOTHING DID I EXPECT.

 

SO SHORTLY I WILL POST  A RHYME WITH SOME PICS FROM MY HOLIDAY.

 

UNTIL THEN I HOPE YOU ARE  ALL FEELING WELL BUT FOR NOW I WILL ONCE AGAIN SAY.

 

OH! FOR THE GOOD OLD SCHOOLDAYS I LOVED ONCE UPON A TIME.

 

EVERY DAY I LOOKED FORWARD TO GOING TO SCHOOL  AS YOU'VE READ IN

 

                                              "MY SIMPLE RHYME".

 

                          

 

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"NEVER AT HOME OF LATE"

 

     

 

 

WELL I THOUGHT IT TIME TO POST AGAIN IN BETWEEN MY BREAKS.

 

AS I'M GOING AWAY AGAIN FOLKS THIS WEEKEND FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

 

I'M NEVER AT HOME OF LATE FRIENDS I'M ALWAYS GADDING ABOUT.

 

MY CLOTHES ARE NEVER HUNG LONG ENOUGH FROM A SUITCASE IV'E BEEN LIVING OUT.

 

SO A TALE I DECIDED TO TELL YOU AND A THOUGHT THAT CAME TO MY MIND.

 

ONE WHICH I COULDN'T BYPASS AS I KNOW YOU LIKE THE OLD KIND.

 

SO I'M POSTING TODAY AGAIN QUICKLY FOLKS BUT THEN I'LL BE OFF AGAIN.

 

TOMORROW SO MISSING ONCE MORE FOR A WHILE SORRY I'M SUCH A PAIN.

 

THAT I CANNOT GET TO COMMENTING FOR WASHING AND IRONING YOU SEE.

 

EACH TIME I GET HOME THERES LOTS TO DO SO PLEASE WILL YOU FORGIVE ME.

 

WELL I BUMPED INTO AN OLD NEIGHBOUR  OF MINE THE OTHER DAY  AND SHE.

 

WAS OVER THE MOON TO SEE ME AGAIN AND SHE REMINISCED WITH ME.

 

ABOUT WHEN I WAS THE LOCAL BARMAID AND HOW MUCH FUN WE HAD.

 

SHE SAID SINCE THEN HOW TIMES HAD CHANGED AND NOW THEY ARE REAL BAD.

 

KATH WHEN WE GO TO THE LOCAL NOW THERES KNOWONE THERE WE KNOW.

 

AND MY HUBBY AND I WE OFTEN CHAT OF TIMES OF LONG AGO.

 

WE WERE ONLY SAYING THE OTHER  NIGHT  I WONDER WHERE IS KATH.

 

HOW MUCH WE ENJOYED GOING OUT THEN  AND HOW MUCH YOU MADE US LAUGH.

 

YES I REPLIED  I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN TIMES ARN'T THE SAME  TODAY.

 

IV'E MISSED MY JOB AS A BARMAID AND I'M HEARING WHAT YOU SAY.

 

PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD TO GO OUT AND DRINK LIKE THEY USED TO DO.

 

MOST OF THEM DRINK IN THE HOME NOWADAYS OR GO TO A BARBECUE.

 

BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME AS THE OLD TIMES WHEN WE WOULD GET UP FOR A DANCE.

 

POPPING OUR MONEY IN THE OLD JUKE BOX WITH  A BAG OF CRISPS IN OUR HAND.

 

OR MAYBE A PACKET OF SALTED PEANUTS TELLING JOKES BY THE SCORE.

 

WE LAUGHED AND SANG UNTIL THE NIGHT ENDED AND OUR THROATS WOULD END UP  SORE.

 

THEN CAME THE HOKEY COKEY PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT IN WE WOULD SHOUT .

 

THEN PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT OUT GALS  AND SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT.

 

YES THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY FRIEND I SAID ISN'T IT GREAT TO LOOK BACK.

 

AND THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD I'D LOVE TO GO BACK DOWN THAT TRACK.

 

WELL I HAVE BEEN THINKING LATELY I WONDER IF I COULD FIND.

 

SOME OF THE GALS AND GUYS I DRANK  WITH AND ASK THEM IF THEY WOULDN'T MIND.

 

HAVING SOME SORT OF RE-UNION IT WOULD BE THE BEST NIGHT YET.

 

IF I COULD FIND THEM  I'D GUARANTEE THEY WOULD ALL TURN UP YOU BET.

 

I SOMETIMES WISH US J/LANDERS COULD ALL ARRANGE A NICE TRIP .

 

AND SAVE AS MUCH AS WE COULD TO MEET UP AND DO A FEW TWIRLS AND FLIP.

 

THE NIGHT AWAY FANTASTIC NOW WOULDN'T THAT BE SOME FUN.

 

CHATTING TO ONE ANOTHER FACE TO FACE UNTIL THE NIGHT WAS DONE.

 

I DON'T SEE WHY WE COULDN'T DO IT  IF WE TRIED BY PHONE TO ARRANGE.

 

A MEETING PLACE CENTRAL TO WHERE WE ALL LIVED  A WEEKEND AWAY FOR A CHANGE.

 

SOMEONE TO BE THE ORGANISER  IF WE COULD RELY ON THEM .

 

TO BOOK A HOTEL WITH A  GOOD REPUTATION MAKE OUR OWN WAY THERE AND THEN . 

 

WHEN WE ALL ARRIVED WE'D BE LAUGHING AND CHATTING AND IN OUR GLORY WE'D BE.

 

A SING SONG TOGETHER OF ALL THE OLD SONGS DRESSED UP IN OUR FINERY. HE-HE.

 

EACH PRINT A SONG OUT ON PAPER AND BRING IT ALONG IF YOU LIKE .

 

I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE MUCH TROUBLE I'D STAND UP AND TAKE THE MIKE.

 

AND  INTRODUCE " THE  ZIMMER GANG CHOIR " I THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD NAME. HE-HE

 

YES I CAN IMAGINE IT ALL IN MY MIND VERY VERY PLAIN.  

 

AMERICA AND BRITAINS GOT TALENT I KNOW WOULDN'T HAVE A LOOK IN.

 

WE WOULD ALL HAVE A GOLDEN  BALL AND  TELL JASPER IT WOULDN'T BE ONE TO BIN. HE-HE.

 

A GOOD LAUGH AND A DRINK TOGETHER IF IT ONLY BE A FRUIT JUICE .

 

THEN MAYBE A TRIP ROUND THE SHOPS NEXT MORNING  BEFORE WE RETURN TO CHOOSE.

 

A GIFT TO TAKE HOME TO OUR LOVED ONES WELL WE HAVE TO KEEP THE PEACE. HE-HE.

 

THATS IF WE ALL BEHAVED OURSELVES AND ENDED UP ALL IN ONE PIECE. HE-HE.

 

BUT KNOWING ME THE  WALKING DISASTER IT MAKES ME THINK TWICE SOMETIMES .

 

 I'M SAFER ON HOLIDAY WITH ROOSTER OR SAT WRITING   " MY SIMPLE  RHYMES"  HE-HE.

 

 " KNEES UP MOTHERHEN NOT MOTHERBROWN " HE-HE !!!!

 

  

                     

 

  "  CATCH YOU WHEN I GET BACK HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL " !!!!

                

 

      

 

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" NIGHTMARE ON HELL STREET"

 

             

 

          

 

IV'E BEEN ON HOLIDAY AGAIN FOLKS AND WHAT A NIGHTMARE IT WAS.

 

THE HEAVENS THEY OPENED EACH DAY AND EVENING SO I WAS AT A LOSS.

 

JUST HOW TO SPEND MY TIME IN MY RAINCAP WATERPROOFS AND WADERS YOU SEE.

 

I'M A SUNSHINE GODESS SO THE WEATHER FOR STARTERS REALY BUGGED ME.

 

I ARRIVED AT THE HOTEL EXCITED AND WAS GREETED WITH NEWS THAT THE LIFT.

 

WAS BROKEN DOWN AND IT ALL TURNED OUT I WAS ON THE SIXTH FLOOR WHAT A SHIFT.

 

CLIMBING SIXTY  OR MORE STAIRS TO GET TO MY HOTEL ROOM.

 

WHEN I ENTERED I'D NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT MY HEART IT DROPPED WITH A BOOM !!!!!

 

THE MANAGERESS THEN CALLED OUT WE HAVE A LIFT YOU CAN USE.

 

THIS WAS THE CLEANING SERVICE STAFF LIFT SO LOTS OF US WERN'T AMUSED.

 

FOLLOW ME SHE CRIED OUT TO EVERYONE I'LL SHOW YOU THE WAY TO GO.

 

DOWN LOTS OF LONG DARK PASSAGES BINS LADEN WITH WASHING AND SO.

 

ONE LADY SHOUTS OUT IT'S LIKE THE THIRD WORLD DIRTY WITH BINS FULL OF WASTE.

 

WELL MOTHERHEN WASN'T HAVING THIS SO I KICKED UP A RUMPUS IN HASTE.

 

WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR KIDDING I SAID THE SIGHT OF THIS JUST MAKES ME SICK.

 

YOU BETTER SEND FOR AN ENGINEER TO MEND THE BROKEN LIFT QUICK.

 

WEV'E SPENT ALL OUR MOULA ON THIS HOLIDAY AND WE ALL EXPECT MUCH MORE.

 

NOT TO BE GAZING AT DIRTY BED LINEN AND FOODSTUFFS LYING ROUND ON THE FLOOR.

 

WASTE FROM THE KITCHEN ETC IT'S DISGUSTING I'M LIVID I SAID.

 

MY HEART HAD SUNK I WAS FEELING DEPRESSED IT WAS LIKE A LUMP OF LEAD.

 

THE GROUNDS WERE FLOODED AS I PEEKED OUT I KNOW THAT IF I'D HAD MY ROD.

 

AND MADE A CATCH I'M SURE I 'D HAVE SLAPPED HER ROUND THE FACE WITH RAW COD. HE-HE !

 

APOLOGIES NOT ACCEPTED BY ME I ANSWERED YOU KNEW ALL US PEOPLE HAD BOOKED.

 

AND THIS IS THE WRONG HOTEL I SNAPPED WHEN I HAD TAKEN A LOOK.

 

AT THE BROCHURE WHICH I TOOK WITH ME HOW DARE YOU TRY TO FOB.

 

ALL THESE OLD PEOPLE WITH YOUR EXCUSES MOTHERHEN SHE WILL NOT BE ROBBED.

 

IT TURNED OUT THE HOTEL WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN WAS DOUBLE BOOKED AND WAS FULL.

 

SO THEY'D PUT US ALL IN THERE PARTNER ONE WHICH WAS MISERABLE DIRTY AND DULL.

 

THE FOOD WAS AS BAD JUST TERRIBLE THE BACON AND MEAT LIKE LEATHER.

 

BY THE SECOND DAY I WAS SEATHING AND AT THE END OF MY TETHER.

 

THE PORRIDGE ETC WAS COLD AS ICE THE EGGS WERE SWIMMING IN OIL.

 

THE VEGETABLES HAD NEVER SEEN A COOKER OR EVER BEEN PAR BOILED.

 

WHAT A NIGHTMARE I TELL YOU FRIENDS THEN  TO TOP IT ALL WE FOUND OUT.

 

IN THIS HOTEL NO ENTERTAINMENT SO PLENTY GUESTS SANG LULU'S "SHOUT".

 

ON ENQUIRING THE POSITION OF THE HOTEL AND WAS IT NEAR THE BAY.

 

IT WAS MILES OUT FROM THE SEASHORE AND TO WALK THERE TOO FAR NO WAY.

 

TAXI'S WERE VERY EXPENSIVE NO COURTESY BUS GOING THERE.

 

VISIONS OF ME  GAZING OUT AT THE DOWNPOUR FROM THE SIXTH FLOOR I SWEAR.

 

MY HEART IT WAS ACHING ALONG WITH ALL OTHERS THEN CAME A TEXT ON MY PHONE.

 

FROM MY SON MY BEST FRIENDS HUBBY HAD DIED SUDDEN SO I WISHED I WAS GOING HOME.

 

WELL HEARTBROKEN I JUST CRIED AND CRIED AND THOUGHT WELL I MUST NOW TRY.

 

AND MAKE THE BEST OF WHATEVERS TO BE  NOTHING WILL CHANGE IF I CRY.

 

SO IV'E WRITTEN A LETTER WELL MORE OF A BOOK FRIENDS OF COMPLAIN TO THE COMPANY TODAY.

 

AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO CONTACT THE PROGRAM "HOLIDAYS FROM HELL" LET ME SAY.

 

THIS WASN'T SOME CHEAPY HOLIDAY AND  THERE NOT RIPPING MOTHERHEN OFF.

 

SO SORRY I'M BACK WITH YOU MOANING AND GROANING BUT I THINK IV'E REASON TO SCOFF.

 

WASN'T I GLAD WHEN  ON HOME GROUND AT LAST THE WEATHER WAS FINE.

 

NOW I'M BACK ONCE AGAIN BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW OFTEN WRITING "MY SIMPLE RHYMES".

 

                

      "  I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL I HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL!!! "

                                      

        

                                       

 

 

                            

"WAKEY WAKEY"

 

 

     

              WAKEY WAKEY!!

 

I WAS FEELING MUCH BETTER TUESDAY FRIENDS SO SOME GARDENING TO

DO I THOUGHT.

 

I HAD LEFT IT FOR OVER A WEEK NOW SO I REALY THOUGHT THAT I OUGHT.

 

SO I'M TRYING ANOTHER POSTING TODAY THANKYOU FOR ALL YOUR TIPS .

 

AND SUGGESTIONS ON MY GLASSES PROBLEM HAVE YOU GOT ANY FOR FAT LIPS.

 

COS I TROD ON MY GARDEN RAKE ACCIDENTLY  AND UP CAME THE RUDDY STAKE.

 

IT HIT ME A BULLS EYE ON FOREHEAD AND MOUTH TO MAKE SURE I WAS WIDE AWAKE.

 

I PICKED UP THE RAKE FRIENDS AND  THREW IT THE LENGTH OF THE FLIPPING LAWN.

 

SWEARING AND CURSING I FELT QUITE DAZED NOT KNOWING IF NIGHT TIME OR DAWN.

 

MY MOUTH IT STARTED TO THROB AND ACHE SO I WENT INDOORS TO LOOK.

 

GOODNESS ME A PAIR OF  CAR INNERTUBES FROM A MOTORISTS BOOK.

 

           

   

 

I GRINNED IN THE MIRROR TO CHECK TO SEE IF ALL MY TEETH WERE INTACT.

 

THANK GOODNESS THEY WERE BUT A LUMP LIKE AN EGG ON MY FOREHEAD WAS NOW THERE IN FACT.

 

IT EVEN CAUGHT MY LEFT BREAST AS IT FLEW UP SO I FEEL I'VE BEEN IN THE WARS.

 

SORE EYE SORE NOSE TWO FAT LIPS SORE BREAST NOT MENTIONING ALL OTHER FLAWS.

 

MY MIND THEN TURNED TO THE ROOSTER AS THIS WEEK HE BOUGHT ME A STRIMMER.

 

NO FEAR I AM NOT USING THAT NOW OR THINGS MIGHT END UP MUCH GRIMMER.

 

KNOWING MY LUCK I'D PROBABLY END UP STRIMMING MY TOES OFF BOTH FEET.

 

INSTEAD OF THE LONG GRASS AT THE EDGES TRYING TO MAKE IT NEAT.

 

SO IT LOOKS LIKE SOLITARY CONFINEMENT AGAIN I CARN'T GO OUT LOOKING LIKE THIS.

 

FOLKS WILL THINK I HAVE FELL FROM THE SKY OR KEELED OVER COMING HOME P------ HE-HE.

 

I CARN'T SAY HOW I AM MANAGEING TO LAUGH AS I'M FEELING SO LOW.

 

EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WRONG AM I ROTTING I REALY DON'T KNOW.

 

WELL ANYWAY I HAVE DECIDED I'M SURELY NOT GOING TO BE BET.

 

SO IV'E SHOOK  MY FEATHERS THIS MORNING  FOLKS RELAXED AND I'M READY TO GET.

 

BACK READING AND COMMENTING AND THE GARDEN IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT.

 

BECAUSE TRYING A BIT OF GARDENING I HAVE ENDED UP IN A  WORSE STATE.

 

I WAS TOLD IN MY EARLY DAYS OF J/LAND I WAS A WALKING DISASTER.

 

IT'S A WONDER MY BODY ISN'T ALL COVERED FROM TOP TO TOE IN PLASTER .

 

SO THE RAKE IS IN THE DOG HOUSE NOW AND THE STRIMMER I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

 

THE GREEN GRASS  IS WET THROUGH IT'S POURING DOWN SO I'LL JUST IGNORE LET IT GROW.

 

IV'E A PLASTER ACCROSS THE BRIDGE OF MY NOSE SO MY GLASSES CANNOT RUB.

 

THE BRUISE ON MY HEAD IS COVERED IN  MARGARINE IV'E RUBBED ON FROM THE TUB.  HE-HE

 

MY MICK JAGGER RUBBER LIPS  WILL GO DOWN GIVEN A LITTLE TIME.

 

SO I THINK I AM BETTER OFF SAT AT THE POOTER WRITING " MY SIMPLE RHYMES"  HE-HE.

 

 

                  

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"GONE AGAINST DOCTORS ORDERS"

 

       

           

                                  

 IV'E GONE AGAINST DOCTORS ORDERS DOING THIS POST TODAY.

 

DON'T GO ON THE COMPUTER WAS ONE THING HE HAD TO SAY.

 

YOU SEE I HAVE A BAD EYE MY FRIENDS NO I HAVN'T BEEN IN A SCRAP.  HE-HE

 

IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE AND ALSO I HAVE A SORE NOSE LAUGHING KATH.

 

FIRST LET ME SAY I'M  ALERGIC TO METAL AND SO THATS WHY MY NOSE.

 

IS REALY SORE FROM WEARING MY SPECS FOR READING AND WRITING MY PROSE.

 

THE TINY BITS WHICH REST ON THE NOSE ARE METAL SO PROLONGED USE.

 

OF MY GLASSES MAKE THE LUMP ON MY NOSE AND IT'S INFLAMED AND I'M CONFUSED.

 

AS IV'E BEEN TO SEE THE OPTICIAN AND HE CARN'T FIND ANYTHING WRONG .

 

WITH MY EYE NOR HAS THE DOCTOR YET IT'S GLAZED ALL THE TIME AND STINGS STRONG.

 

SO DOC HAS INFORMED THE HOSPITAL AND I NOW JUST HAVE TO WAIT.

 

FOR AN APPOINTMENT THROUGH THE POST MY FACE IT LOOKS A RIGHT STATE.

 

I'M TRYING NOT TO WEAR MY GLASSES MUCH BUT THEN THE HEADACHES COME BY.

 

A GAMMY NOSE AND FEEL BLIND AS A BAT WITH ONLY THE USE OF ONE EYE.

 

WHAT A  PERFORMANCE I TELL YOU TODAY I WAS HAVING A GO.

 

AT OPENING A SMALL PLASTIC WALLET TO PUT MY PHONE CARD IN SO.

 

I WOULDN'T LOSE IT AND TRY AS I MAY I COULDN'T ALL EFFORTS FAILED.

 

WHEN MY DAUGHTER CALLED  AND I TOLD HER SHE JUST STARTED LAUGHING AND WAILED.

 

MUM YOU WON'T GET YOUR CARD IN LIKE THAT THE REASON IS YOU SEE.

 

YOU ARE TRYING AND THE WALLET IS UPSIDE DOWN THERES NO OPENING THERE. HE-HE.

 

WELL LIKE I SAID I'M BLIND AS A BAT WITHOUT MY SPECS FOR CLOSE WORK.

 

WHEN SHE TOLD ME I CRACKED UP LAUGHING I FELT A RIGHT SILLY BURK.

 

I DECIDED TO PUT A PATCH ON MY EYE WHILST I TYPE THIS POST.

 

AND A PLASTER IV'E STUCK ACCROSS MY NOSE I MUST SAY I LOOK THE MOST HE-HE.

 

I HAVE TRIED TO READ A FEW BLOGS NOW AND THEN BUT ONLY ABOUT SIX A DAY.

 

I'LL TRY AND GET BACK TO COMMENTING AS SOON AS I CAN SO PLEASE PRAY.

 

MY EYE GETS BETTER AND NOTHINGS TOO SERIOUS AND ALSO MY NOSE DOES HEAL.

 

IF THE NAIL VARNISH COVERS THE METAL UP AND I DO LIKE THEM RED THEY APPEAL.

 

AS IV'E TAKEN A TIP MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE PAINTED MY GLASSES RED.

 

THE OPTITIAN SUGGESTED I TRY THIS WELL THIS IS WHAT HE SAID.

 

HE KNEW OF MANY WHO'D DONE THIS TRICK AND IT HAD WORKED REALY FINE.

 

SO IV'E TAKEN HIS RECOMMENDATION  THERE NOT PERFECT BUT WILL BE WITH TIME.

 

I HAVE HAD TO PAINT THEM IN MY SUNGLASSES THE FRAMES YOU SEE ARE SO THIN.

 

THEY HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER COAT YET AND THEN I SHALL CLEAN ALL THE RIM.

 

SO THATS WHY I HAVN'T BEEN ONLINE I AM TRYING TO OBEY THE DOC.

 

AND TRYING TO GET RID OF THE LUMP ON MY NOSE  IT'S LIKE A GREAT BIG RED SPOT.

 

RESTING THE EYE AS WELL MY FRIENDS AND I MUST SAY THERE SIMPLY IS NOT.

 

MUCHI CAN SEE WITHOUT THEM SO I CANNOT DO A GREAT LOT.

 

SO TAKE CARE I'M THINKING OF YOU ALL FOR NOW AND IN THE MEANTIME.

 

I'LL PLAY BLINDMANS BUFF AND TRY KEEP WRITING THE  ODD POST OF " MY SIMPLE RHYME ".

 

        

         

 

                               KATH

 

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"NO NOTICE AT ALL"

 

 

            

 

                

 

I GOT A NEW BIN DELIVERED YETERDAY FOLKS NO NOTICE AT ALL IT JUST DROPPED .

 

OFF ONE OF THE LOCAL COUNCIL WAGONS IT MADE ME JUMP I WAS SHOCKED.

 

I WAS SAT  IN THE LOUNGE READING QUIETLY AND SUCH A RACKET RANG OUT.

 

MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT AS I SAT UP SO THROUGH THE WINDOW I THEN LOOKED OUT.

 

ANOTHER GREEN  CONTAINER FLUNG  DOWN FROM A WAGON TRAVELLING AROUND .

 

JUST THROWN  OUT THE BACK OF THE WAGON AND LOUDLY  IT FELL TO THE  GROUND.

 

I WONDERED WHAT REALY HAD HAPPEND IT HIT THE GROUND WITH A BANG.

 

THEN CONTINUOUS BANGS WERE HEARD UP AND DOWN CONTAINERS DROPPED WITH A CLANG.

 

THE DRIVER WAS SAT WELL BACK IN THE CAB ANOTHER MAN THROWING THESE  DOWN.

 

GOOD GRIEF I THOUGHT I CAN DO THAT JOB AND I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE A SOUND.

 

I WOULD AT LEAST HAVE AIMED FOR THE GRASS INSTEAD OF THE DRIVE OF CONCRETE.

 

DO THESE COUNCIL WORKERS DO ANYTHING RIGHT THATS SENSIBLE AND NEAT.

 

I LOOKED AT THIS GREEN CONTRAPTION LIKE A MILK CRATE AND THOUGHT WHAT IS THIS.

 

MY NEIGHBOUR BESSIE SHOUTS OUT THANK GOODNESS KATH THEY HAVE HAD A NEAR MISS.

 

I WAS JUST COMING OUT TO GO SHOPPING  AND MINE HAS JUST FLOWN RIGHT  PAST.

 

MY LEG  AND I WONDERED WHATEVER WAS HAPPENING  AND THE WAGON JUST DROVE ON QUITE FAST.

 

ONLY FOR JARS AND BOTTLES IT STATES WELL HOW MANY FLIPPING JARS .

 

DOES A SINGLE OCCUPANT  EMPTY IN ONE WEEK  NOT MANY I THOUGHT WHAT A FARSE.

 

I AM LUCKY IF I EMPTY ONE A WEEK  MARMALADE OR BEETROOT LETS SAY.

 

THEN THERES THE GREEN BIN FOR PAPER BUT NO SHREDDINGS TO PASS THIS WAY.

 

NO PAPER SHREDDINGS TO BE PLACED IN HERE HOW STUPID DOES THAT SEEM I ASK.

 

ARE THEY RIGHT IN THERE MINDS THESE COUNCILLORS RECYCLING IS NOW A REAL TASK..

 

NO PIREX GLASS IN THE GLASS BIN NO PLASTIC DISHES OR TRAYS.

 

NO LIGHT BULBS OR BROKEN DRINKING GLASSES THREE BINS NOW STAND IN MY  WAY.

 

THERES ANOTHER TO COME YET AND THEY ARE ASKING TO KEEP THESE INSIDE THE HOUSE.

 

NOW FRIENDS I AM THINKING I BEST HAVE A COUPLE A DAY OF SOME  FAMOUS  GROUSE.

 

 HE-HE.

 

             

 

       

OR MY GLASS BIN WILL BE QUITE EMPTY EACH WEEK WHEN THEY COME ROUND TO COLLECT.

 

AND EMPTY IT INTO THERE WAGON MY EXUSE FOR A TIPPLE PERFECT.     HE-HE

 

THEN AGAIN SOME PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THESE BINS OUTSIDE FOR ALL TO SEE.

 

WHEN GANGS AND TEENAGERS THEY PASS BY I CAN VISION WHAT I MIGHT SEE.

 

GLASS BOTTLES AND JARS THROWN AT THERE RANDOM UP AGAINST ANY WALL.

 

IT DOESN'T TAKE LONG FOR SOME  LUNATICS TO CLICK ONTO DOING THIS AT ALL.

 

A FRIEND OF MINE HAS ALREADY HAD THIS DONE IN HER AREA ONLY LAST WEEK.

 

WHEN SHE SHOUTED OUT TO THE TEENAGERS  ALL SHE GOT WAS LOTS OF CHEEK.

 

THE GENERAL WASTE  IS BEING EMPTIED NOT FORTNIGHTLY BUT THREE WEEKS NOW.

 

SO I BETTER START DRINKING NOT EATING TO FILL UP THESE BINS SOMEHOW.

 

I WILL NEED A LARGE EXTENTION AS WELL  I HAVE THAT MANY BINS IN MY HOME.

 

AM I NAGGING OR AM I RIGHT WOULD YOU SAY HAVING A REAL GOOD MOAN.

 

NO SERIOUSLY THOUGH I FEEL RIGHT NOW US PENSIONERS COULD DO WITH A GOAD..

 

TO HELP US WITH A CRATE  FULL OF GLASS TO BE LIFTED DOWN PATHS TO THE ROAD.

 

WHAT IF WE FELL AND DROPPED IT ALL AND THEN HAD AN ACCIDENT ON GLASS.

 

I KNOW I DON'T TRUST MYSELF CARRYING ONE AS YOU KNOW WELL THIS YORKSHIRE LASS.

 

HAS MANY A TIPPLE THE ALL FALL DOWN TYPE  NOT THE ONES FROM A BOTTLE.

 

I AM LIVID AND LET ME TELL YOU AT THIS TIME I WOULD LOVE TO  THROTTLE.

 

THE PERSON WHO CAME  UP WITH THIS BRIGHT IDEA HE'S NOT PUT MUCH THOUGHT IN TO ME.

 

AS THE GENERAL WASTE  BIN WEIGHS A TON ALSO WHEN FULL UP WOULDN'T  YOU AGREE.

 

THESE WORKMEN THERE JOB GETS EASIER AND STILL THEY GET THE SAME PAY.

 

BRING BACK THE COAL FIRES I SAY AND LETS BURN OUR RUBBISH AWAY.

 

NO VERMIN AROUND NO BINS IN THE HOME NO SMELLS AND ALL OF THE REST.

 

THE COAL FIRE AND OLD METAL BINS OF YESTERYEAR WERE SURELY IN MY MIND THE BEST.

 

    

 

SO I AM GOING SHOPPING TODAY FRIENDS AND MY LIST IS MADE OUT AS SUCH.

 

SEVEN BOTTLES OF FAMOUS GROUSE WHOO-HOO AND ON MY FOOD LIST NOT MUCH .  HE-HE

 

SEVEN JARS OF LOVELY BEETROOT AND SEVEN JARS OF COFFEE TOO.

 

SEVEN JARS OF MARMALADE AND NOT FORGETTING BOTTLES OF TONIC A FEW . HE-HE.

 

A BOX OF CANDLES FOR EVENING TIME AS LIGHTBULBS I CANNOT PLACE .

 

IN THE GREY BIN OR GREEN BIN OR NEW CONTAINER SO WHERE DO THEY GO  A DISGRACE.

 

HOW DO YOU RATE THIS NEW RECYCLING JOB I KNOW WHAT THE REASON IS FOR.

 

BUT THE OLD FASHIONED COAL FIRE FOR BURNING THINGS IS STILL IN MY MIND QUITE RAW.

 

WELL IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS AGAIN FOLKS SO AT LEAST I WON'T HAVE TO WASH.

 

MY GREY BIN TODAY I'LL JUST LEAVE THE LID UP AND LET THE RAIN DO IT MY GOSH.

 

IV'E BEEN LOOKING AROUND JUST NOW AND IV'E  SPOTTED MILLIONS OF SNAILS HAVING FUN.

 

EATING ALL MY PANSIES AND BEDDING PLANTS I'LL HAVE TO GET MY PELLET GUN.

 

WHAT WITH RECYCLING PAPER AND GLASS TIN CANS SNAILS TO RID  DO YOU THINK.

 

I WILL GET CHANCE AT ALL TO HAVE AFTERNOON NAPS AS I NEED MY FORTY WINKS.

 

I AM HOPING THAT WHEN ALL IS SORTED THE BIN MEN ARRIVE HERE ON TIME .

 

OR I'LL BE UNDER MY RUBBISH TANKED UP NO TIME TO WRITE     "MY SIMPLE RHYMES".

 

 

              

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"A VERY CHEAP DAY OUT"

 

 

WE SET OFF ON SUNDAY TO THE MUSEUM WHILST ROOSTER HE WAS OFF WORK.

 

IV'E KEPT SAYING I'D DO A VISIT THERE FOR A WHILE  NOW MY MEMORY TO JERK.

 

ON ARRIVAL THE ROOSTER PAID ONE POUND FIFTY WHAT A CHEAP ENTRANCE FEE.

 

ESPECIALLY IN TODAYS DAY AND AGE AND A DISCOUNT ON TOP FOR ME .

 

MOTHERHEN BEING A PENSIONER I SHOWED THE LADY MY PASS.

 

IT'S ONLY FIFTY PENCE FOR YOU DEAR WHOO-HOO THOUGHT THIS YORKSHIRE LASS.

 

LOTS OF INTERESTING HISTORY I LEARNED OF THIS SEASIDE TOWN.

 

RELICS AND POSTERS OF ALSORTS WERE SCATTERED ALL AROUND.

 

SO I TOOK OUT MY DIDGY QUICKLY AND TOOK A FEW SANPS FOR YOU.

 

TO SHOW YOU WHAT IT USED TO BE LIKE WHEN A CHILD  AND WHAT WE WOULD DO.

 

THIS IS A TYPICAL PICTURE OF A DINING ROOM WHERE WE WOULD STAY.

 

FOR BED AND BREAKFAST AND EVENING MEAL JUST AS YOU WOULD TODAY.

 

 

THE OLD WOODEN TROLLEY WOULD STAND AT THE SIDE READY FOR LANDLADY SHE.

 

WOULD FILL IT WITH GOODIES AND THEN WALK AROUND WITH A GREAT BIG TEAPOT OF TEA  HE-HE.

 

 

ANYONE FOR  A CUPPA SHE WOULD SHOUT AS WE ATE OUR MEAL.

 

OR MAYBE JUST POUR ONE  OUT FOR YOU AND THE ATMOSPHERE WAS REAL.

 

AT THE BACK ON THE SIDEBOARD STOOD THE OLD RADIO PLAYING SOME OLD FASHIONED TUNES.

 

OR THE NEWS WOULD BE ON AND DAD WOULD SAY QUIET IF NOT HE WOULD REALY FUME. HE-HE.

 

 

 

 

 

AFTER OUR MEAL WE WOULD PESTER MUM FOR A NEW BUCKET AND SPADE.

 

HERES A SNAP OF THE OLD TIME TIN ONES WITH PATTERNS ON WHICH WERE MADE.

 

THE LITLE TIN SPADE WITH WOODEN  HANDLE NO PLASTIC WERE IN THEM DAYS.

 

DIGGING AWAY MAKING SAND CASTLES UNDERS THE HOT SUN RAYS.

 

 

AND WHILST WE BUILT OUR SANDCASTLES WE WOULD WATCH PUNCH AND JUDY SHOW.

 

 

MOTHER AND FATHER SAT BACK RELAXING IN THE BEACH HUT YOU MIGHT WELL KNOW HE-HE.

 

 

WHAT WONDERFUL MEMORIES FLASHED THROUGH MY MIND I HAD A TEAR IN MY EYE.

 

STILL FABULOUS MEMORIES I DON'T MIND TEARS WHEN IT'S THESE SORT WHICH  MAKE ME CRY.

 

KIOSKS WERE FULL OF ALSORTS OF THINGS  FROM THEM BYE GONE DAYS.

 

OLD COMICS PAPERS TOYS ETC SOME WONDERFUL WAR YEARS  DISPLAYS.

 

 

 

 

WHERE DID THE ORGAN GRINDER GET TO WITH HIS  CHEEKY MONKEY HE- HE.

 

I REMEMBER GIVING THE MONKEY A PENNY AND HE WOULD SNATCH IT FROM ME.

 

THEN HE'D DROP IT INTO THE LITTLE TIN MUG AND EVERYONE WOULD SING.

 

ALONG TO THE TUNES WHICH ECHOED OUT OH WHAT JOY IT DID BRING.

 

 

THERE WERE LOTS MORE IN THE MUSEUM PENNY SLOTS OF YESTERYEAR.

 

AND ON ENTRANCE THE LADY GAVE YOU SOME PENNIES TO TRY THEM OUT WHILST IN HERE.

 

 

LOOK WHO I SNAPPED TRYING HIS LUCK LITTLE THINGS PLEASE LITTLE MINDS.  HE-HE.

 

I HAD LOST TRACK OF MY ROOSTER BUT HE WASN'T HARD TO FIND. HE-HE.

 

I THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE ENJOYING HIMSELF LIKE OLD TIMES WHEN HE WAS A BOY.

 

POPPING HIS PENNIES IN ONE BY ONE THESE MACHINES BROUGHT KIDS SO MUCH JOY.

 

FROM THE MUSEUM WE WENT TO THE CRAFT MARKET IN THE GROUNDS ON SHOW.

 

SO WE STROLLED AROUND AT A  STEADY PACE TAKING THINGS NICE AND SLOW.

 

LOTS OF LOVELY THINGS WERE ON SALE A SELECTION HERE TO SHOW YOU.

 

PAINTINGS DOLLIES WOODEN GIFTS ALL HAND MADE THEY WERE TOO.

 

 

 

 

HANDBAGS AND PURSES OH! YES I LIKED THESE BUT NO I DIDN'T BUY.

 

OTHER THINGS EARLIER ON IN THE WEEK I HAD BOUGHT WHICH CAUGHT MOTHERHENS EYE.

 

ON ARRIVAL BACK AT THE FLAT WELL ROOSTER HANDED ME A SMALL BAG.

 

HE SAID IV'E BOUGHT YOU THIS LOVE AS ONE OF THESE YOU DON'T HAVE.

 

A TINY WOODEN CARVED BOOKMARK HE-HE OF ROOSTER HIMSELF .

 

THEY MUST HAVE SEEN US COMING HE-HE SO IV'E POPPED IT ON THE BOOKSHELF .

 

 

THE FINAL SNAP I HAVE TO SHOW YOU  REALY DID MAKE ME LAUGH.

 

IT REMINDED ME JUST HOW I USED TO LOOK IN THOSE DAYS BUT ON HERE I'M  NOT LAUGHING KATH. HE-HE.

 

A POSTCARD TELLING YOU HOW I FELT AND OFTEN NOWADAYS TOO.

 

WHEN IT'S TIME TO LEAVE AND COME HOME AGAIN WHEREVER IV'E BEEN BOO-HOO !!

 

 

 

                                HEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

 

 

I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GOOD SPRING BANK HOLIDAY  I THOUGHT OF YOU OFTEN YOU KNOW.

 

I MISSED MY COMPUTER AND ALL YOUR POSTINGS BUT HAD ME A GREAT TIME AND SO.

 

NO FALLING DOWN AND NO LOST KEYS EVERYTHING WENT JUST FINE.

 

I HAVE LOTS MORE PICS TO SHOW YOU FRIENDS IN MORE OF " MY SIMPLE RHYMES".