"WHAT A SHOW"

    

                     

 

                                           

 

THEY CAME AGAIN IN ALL SHAPES AND COLOURS TO OUR TOWN THIS FRIDAY NIGHT.

 

HORNS WERE HONKING EXHAUSTS WERE BLOWING WASN'T IT JUST A SIGHT.

 

HUNDREDS OF THEM THREE A BREAST WITH HEADLAMPS SHINING BRIGHT.

 

AT FIRST I WONDERED WHAT IT WAS THE SOUND GAVE ME SUCH A FRIGHT.

 

THE SIGHT WAS UNBELIEVABLE AS I LOOKED OUT IN THE DARK.

 

ALL RIDING ROUND AND TRYING TO FIND A PLACE WHERE THEY COULD PARK.

 

LANDLADIES SAYING I'M SORRY GUYS THERES NO ROOM AT THE INN TONIGHT .

 

SO OFF THEY RODE TO ANOTHER AVENUE LOOKING FOR LODGINGS THERE PLIGHT..

 

THE ANNUAL SCOOTER GATHERING WAS HERE IN OUR TOWN ONCE AGAIN.

 

THE NOISE THEY MAKE WHEN THERE ALL TOGETHER I MUST SAY IS SOMETIMES A PAIN.

 

BUT I MUST ADMIT I LOVE TO SEE THEM AND ALL FOR A VERY GOOD CAUSE.

 

YES CHARITY SO GIVE THEM CREDIT AND ALSO LETS APPLAUSE.

 

WELL  OUT CAME MY BATTERY CHARGER LAST NIGHT  SO I WAS PREPARED.

 

TO  SET OFF SATURDAY MORNING TO TAKE THESE  PICTURES I'VE SHARED.

 

THERE WERE BLUE ONES RED ONES YELLOW ONES ALL LINED UP DOWN THE PROM.

 

GREEN ONES BROWN ONES ORANGE AND BLACK AND SOME WITH ANIMALS ON.

 

SOME CUSTOMISED IN FANCY PATTERNS I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A SIGHT.

 

AND IN THE EVENING THEY REALY GLOW UNDER THE MOON AND LAMPLIGHT.

 

NOT A PARKING PLACE LEFT ON THE AVENUES SCOOTERS WERE EVERYWHERE.

 

IN THE CAR PARKS  THE PROMENADE AND  ESPELANDE SCOOTERS GALORE OUT THERE.

 

I HEARD ALL THE HOTELS WERE BOOKED UP AND GUEST HOUSES TOO ALL FULL.

 

IT WAS JUST A SHAME WE DIDN'T GET SUNSHINE THE DAY WAS DAMP AND DULL.

 

THESE GUYS AND GALS ARE  NO TROUBLE AND THEY BRING  CUSTOM TO OUR TOWN.

 

SO I AM NOT  BOTHERED THEY COME HERE LIKE SOME WHO MOAN AND FROWN.

 

I SNAPPED AWAY TO MY HEARTS CONTENT AND THEY WERE DELIGHTED THAT I.

 

HAD MENTIONED IF THEY WERE ON THE INTERNET ONE DAY THEY MIGHT JUST SPY.

 

THE PICTURES OF THERE SCOOTERS IN MY BLOG AND THEY DIDN'T VENT.

 

SO I CONTINUED SNAPPING AND CHATTING WHAT A LOVELY AFTERNOON I'VE SPENT.

 

THE QUEUE FOR THE LEISURE CENTRE WAS MILES LONG AS THATS WHERE THEY ALL GO.

 

TO THE EXHIBITION FOR ALL THERE WARES AND IV'E HEARD IT'S A BRILLIANT SHOW.

 

TONIGHT THERES A DANCE FOR  ALL OF THEM TO HAVE THEMSELVES  A GOOD TIME.

 

NO PROBLEMS NO FIGHTING NO TROUBLE EVERYTHING ALWAYS GOES FINE.

 

I HOPE YOU LIKE THE PICTURES IV'E TAKEN WHICH I'VE PLACED FOR YOU UP ABOVE.

 

BUT THIS ONE BELOW IS SPECIAL IT'S MY FAVOURITE ONE I JUST LOVE.

 

THE GREEN DRAGON WITH THE CURLY TAIL HE VISITS US  EVERYTIME.         HE-HE

 

I REALY ENJOY THE SCOOTER WEEKEND SHOWN  HERE IN  "MY SIMPLE RHYME"

 

                   

         

 

 

"PAPER PLAY AT THE STREAM"

              

 

I WAS THINKING OF CHILDHOOD DAYS AND REMEMBERING HOW THINGS USED TO BE.

 

WHEN SCHOOL WAS OUT AND WE HAD SUCH FUN ALL MY COUSINS AND ME.

 

I HAD TWO COUSINS WHO LIVED AWAY AND FOR THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS.

 

MY MOTHER USED TO TAKE ME OVER FOR ALL THE HOLIDAY TO STAY.

 

THIS GRAPHIC ABOVE REMINDED ME OF THE TIMES I USED TO GO.

 

TO THE STREAM AT MY COUSINS HOME IN SOUTH YORKSHIRE WHERE IT USED TO FLOW.

 

WE WOULD GO DOWN THERE EACH MORNING AND PLAY TO OUR HEARTS CONTENT.

 

WALKING ON THE STEPPING STONES MANY HAPPY  HOURS WE HAVE SPENT.

 

THE GRAPHIC ABOVE ALSO REMINDS ME OF WHEN THE SUN WAS RED HOT.

 

MY AUNT WOULD PUT A SCALF LIKE THESE ON OUR HEADS TO PROTECT OUR TOP KNOT.

 

THE STREAM IT WASN'T DIRTY IT WAS CRYSTAL BRIGHT AND CLEAR.

 

WE PLAYED IN THIS WATER FOR HOURS ON END AND NEVER DID WE FEAR.

 

ANYTHING DREADFUL WOULD HAPPEN LIKE TODAY OH NO !! WE WERE FINE.

 

SPLASHING AND JUMPING OVER THE STREAM HAVING A REALY GOOD TIME.

 

WE WOULD TAKE A BUNCH OF OLD NEWSPAPERS ROLLED UP AND TIED WITH STRING.

 

A PAIR OF OLD SCISSORS MY AUNT IN CHARGE SHE ALWAYS USED TO BRING.

 

WE WOULD MAKE LITTLE BOATS  FROM  THE NEWSPAPER AND SAIL THEM DOWN THE STREAM.

 

IMAGINING  WE WERE IN THEM SAILING AWAY LIKE IN A  DREAM.

 

                        

                                  

 

        

 

ALMOST ALL OF OUR TOYS IN THESE DAYS WERE HAND MADE AND THEY WERE FREE.

 

FATHER TAUGHT US HOW TO MAKE LOTS OUT OF OLD NEWSPAPERS YOU SEE.

 

TIMES WERE HARD BUT HAPPY TIMES WE WERE GRATEFUL AND SO CONTENT.

 

WITH THESE SIMPLE LITTLE THINGS IN OUR LIVES AND NOTHING OUR PARENTS SPENT.

 

UP ON THE BANK OF THE STREAM WE WOULD RUN AND FLY OUR KITES WAY UP HIGH.

 

JUST THE SAME AS THE BOAT YOU SEE HERE YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING IF YOU TRY.

 

                                  

 

DO YOU REMEMBER THESE FORTUNE TELLERS ALL DIFFERANT WE USED TO MAKE LOTS.

 

                                                       

                                                    

 

ENTERING LITTLE SAYINGS INSIDE  THEM  "DO YOU LOVE ME OR DO YOU NOT".   HE-HE.

 

RED BLUE GREEN OR YELLOW WE USED TO ASK OUR FRIENDS.

 

THE FUN WE HAS DOWN AT THAT STREAM IN THEM DAYS MY MEMORIES NEVER END.

 

YOU WORKED IT BACK AND FORTH WITH YOUR HANDS ASKING A NUMBER NEXT.

 

THEN COUNTED THAT NUMBER OUT WITH THE MOVEMENT MUCH BETTER FUN THAN TEXT.

 

WHEN AT LAST YOU HAD COUNTED THE NUMBER YOU OPENED THE FOLDS UP TO SEE.

 

WHAT LITTLE MESSAGE WAS HIDDEN INSIDE  THAT YOU HAD WROTE IN THERE HE-HE.

 

I USED TO MAKE  WITH THESE PAPER TOYS WHEN MY GRANDCHILDREN THEY WERE YOUNG.

 

AND ALSO HOURS ON END I HAVE MADE THEM WITH DAUGHTER AND MY THREE SONS.

 

BUT NOWADAYS IT IS DIFFERANT EVERYTHING COSTS SO  MUCH .

 

IT'S A SHAME KIDS DON'T  HAVE FUN FOR FREE LIKE WE DID HERE AS SUCH..

 

ANOTHER THING DAD HE TAUGHT US WAS HOW TO MAKE OTHER THINGS  TOO.

 

FROM OLD CIGARETTE PACKETS WHICH WERE EMPTY HERE ARE ONE OR TWO.

 

A MAN SAT ON A BENCH WITH HIS DOG AND TANKS FOR LITTLE BOYS.

 

THE BOYS THEY USED TO LOVE THESE THINGS SOME WERE THERE FAVOURITE TOYS.

 

                  

              

 

WE USED TO MAKE A BIG BOWL OF PASTE FROM FLOWER AND WATER FOR GLUE.

 

THEN CUT UP LOTS OF NEWSPAPERS TILL WE HAD A PILE OR TWO ..

 

STICK THEM ALL ON PLATES AND BUILD UP UNTIL THE LAYERS WERE THICK.

 

LEAVE THEM TO DRY OVERNIGHT AND KEEP LAYERING  UNTIL IT DID THE TRICK.

 

WHEN IT WAS SOLID WE PEELED IT OFF AND A NEW  PAPER PLATE YOU HAD.

 

THE LAST LAYER WAS A CLEAN SHEET OF PAPER TO COVER THE PRINT WHICH LOOKED BAD.

 

GET OUT THE PAINTS AND DECORATE THEM ALL COLOURS BRIGHT AND GAY.

 

WE USED THEM THEN FOR OUR SANDWICHES DOWN AT THE STREAM THROUGH THE DAY.

 

                  

 

 

SIX WEEKS HOLIDAYS WE HAD AT THIS TIME AND NEVER A MOMENT BORED.

 

BUT PLAYING DOWN AT THE STREAM IN THEM DAYS TEN OUT OF TEN IT SCORED.

 

ALL THESE WONDERFUL MEMORIES BROUGHT TO MIND FROM THIS GRAPHIC ABOVE.

 

AND ALL THE WONDERFUL TIMES WE HAD OUR DAYS WERE JUST FILLED WITH LOVE.

 

PADDLING SPLASHING MAKING TOYS FLYING KITES HIGH  LIKE WE DID.

 

I AM PLEASED I WAS BORN AT THIS TIME IN LIFE AND HAVE HAPPY THOUGHTS AS A KID.

 

GOING TO AUNTIES IN THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS ABOUT TEN YEARS OLD AT THAT TIME..

 

I HOPE YOUV'E ENJOYED MY PAPER  PLAY AT THE STREAM HERE IN " MY SIMPLE RHYME"

               

                          

                                         

       THANKYOU TO MISSIE FOR THIS WONDERFUL GRAPHIC.

 

 

 

"MY TRUE HALLOWEEN STORY"

 

               MY TRUE STORY OF

 

                    

 

                       AHHHHH!!

 

   (THANKYOU TO DONNA OF D'S DESIGNS FOR THE FANTASTIC GRAPHIC)

 

I WRITE MY TRUE STORY FOR HALLOWEEN  IV'E TOLD SOME OF YOU BEFORE.

            

ABOUT SEVEN YEAR OLD I WAS AT THE TIME AND  I'LL NEVER FORGET I'M SURE..

 

FOR ALL OF MY NEW FOUND  FOLLOWERS  WELL WHEN I FIRST DID THIS POST.

 

MY POOTER DECIDED TO DIE AND PACK IN SO SADLY  I LOST ALMOST .

 

OF MY FAVOURITE RHYMES I HAD WRITTEN SO I THOUGHT I'D RE-WRITE THIS TALE.

 

ABOUT SOME OF THE THINGS WE DID AS KIDS WHICH AFTERWARDS MADE US WAIL.

 

WHY WE DID DO MISCHIEVOUS THINGS I FEEL THAT SMALL KIDS JUST DARE.

 

TO GO TO PLACES WE SHOULDN'T PERHAPS CURIOSITY FILLS THE AIR.

 

WE ALL WENT TO THE CEMETARY ONE NIGHT WHEN DAD HAD WARNED US TO KEEP OUT.

 

THE LADS SUGGESTED LETS GO THERE ONE NIGHT  AS WE COULDN'T SEE DAD ABOUT.

 

                           (Thanx to Sugar for the above graphic )

 

HE HAD WARNED US THERE WAS A GRAVEDIGGER WHO WASN'T VERY NICE.

 

WE'D NEVER SEEN HIM IN DAYLIGHT NOR HAD WE SEEN HIM AT NIGHT.

 

SO THIS  DARK NIGHT AFTER SCHOOL PRETTY EARLY WE ALL SNEAKED OFF TO PEAK.

 

INTO THE GRAVEYARD ACROSS THE ROAD TO SEE IF WE COULD SEEK.

 

THE GRAVEDIGGER  DAD HAD WARNED US OF TO SEE WHAT HE USED  TO  DO.

 

IT WAS REALY SCARY AND AIRY AND I WAS AFRAID AND SCARED I'LL TELL YOU.

 

BUT SISTER AND FRIENDS THEY SUGGESTED THIS AND SAID IF YOU DON'T COME WITH US.

 

YOUR NOT PLAYING OUT WITH US ANYMORE SO I FOLLOWED WITHOUT ANY FUSS. BOO=HOO!! lol!!

 

I WAS THE SMALLEST AND YOUNGEST OFALL THE KIDS SO I FOLLOWED THEM ALL AROUND.

 

ACROSS THE ROAD TO THE GRAVEYARD WHERE THERE NEAR THE WALL WE  FOUND.

 

A LARGE PILE OF TURF ABOUT SIX FOOT HIGH WHICH LED RIGHT UP TO THE TOP.

 

OF THE GRAVEYARD WALL SO WE JUST RAN UP IT AND THEN OVER THE WALL WE FLOPPED.

 

TO THE OTHER SIDE ABOUT A FOOT DROP THEN BEHIND THE GRAVESTONES WE HID.

 

I WAS SHAKING AND TREMBLING LIKE A LEAF WELL I THINK WOULDN'T ANY KID .

 

YOU SEE I WAS ONLY TINY AT THIS AGE MAYBE ABOUT THREE  FOOT THREE.

 

THE REST OF THEM WERE TEN AND ELEVEN  AND ALL OF THEM TOWERED OVER ME.

 

WELL WHEN WE JUMPED OVER WE SAW THIS MAN NEAR A HOLE WITH  A BIG DIRTY SPADE.

 

HE WAS WONDERING ROUND WITH A LAMP IN HIS HAND OH!!  MY NERVES WERE COMPLETELY FRAYED.

 

AND LEANING ON ONE OF THE GRAVESTONES A PICK  WHICH HE DUG IN THE GROUND.

 

IT WAS FOGGY SPOOKY AND DARK AND LONELY SO SILENT AND NOT A SOUND.

 

 

IN THE LIGHT OF HIS LAMP THE HOLE AND THE SPADE MADE ME SHAKE FROM HEAD TO TOE.

 

I HELD MY BREATH AND DARN'T MAKE A SOUND ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GO.

 

I REMEMBER HE HAD ON A LONG GREY COAT AND HE SEEMED ENORMOUS TO ME.

 

VERY VERY UGLY AND SCRUFFY AND HIS BOOTS WERE SLUDGED UP I COULD SEE.

 

THE GLOW FROM THE LAMP  SHONE ON THIS EARTH PILED UP AT THE SIDE OF THIS HOLE.

 

I WAS WISHING SOMEONE ELSE WOULD APPEAR BUT NO THERE WASN'T A SOUL .

 

BUT ME AND MY FRIENDS IN THIS GRAVEYARD LOTS OF THOUGHTS WERE GOING THROUGH MY MIND.

 

AS I TREMBLED AND SHOOK WHILST PEEPING AT HIM FROM THE GRAVESTONE I HID BEHIND.

 

THIS MAN CALLED BODGER  WE'D NOT SEEN BEFORE BUT STILL HE MADE US AFRAID.

 

BECAUSE ON OUR WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL HE USED TO SHOUT NONE OF YOU WILL BE SAVED. 

 

IN THEM DAYS WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE MEANT SO WE DIDN'T TAKE ANY NOTE.

 

HE WOULD SHOUT OUT LOUD WHEN WE PASSED BY THE WALL KEEP OUT OR I'LL CUT YOUR THROAT.

 

OH! HE USED TO SOUND REALY SCARY HE'D SAY LET ME CATCH HOLD OF YOU ALL.

 

AND YOU'LL GO INTO ONE OF THESE HOLES I'M DIGGING WEATHER YOUR BIG OR SMALL.

 

WELL I WAS THINKING ABOUT ALL THIS WHILST HIDDEN  BEHIND THIS HEADSTONE.

 

 

 

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEARD SOMEONE WHO  BEGAN TO MAKE NOISES AND GROAN.

 

AHHHHHH  WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  RANG OUT THIS SOUND AND I WAS SO TERRIFIED.

 

THE LADS THEN STARTED LAUGHING THERE HEADS OFF  AND  ONE OF THEM SHOUTED AND CRIED..

 

DON'T COME IN HERE OR OLD BODGER WILL GET YOU I CAN SEE HIM HANGING ABOUT.

 

BECAUSE I'D SCREAMED OUT MY SISTER SHE TURNED ROUND AND GAVE ME SUCH A CLOUT.

 

WELL BODGER  LOOKED UP WHEN HE HEARD THE LADS  LAUGHING SHOUTING YOUR DAYS ARE DONE.

 

THEN ONE OF THE LADS  SHOUTED OH!! GET LOST BODGER WE'RE ONLY HAVING SOME FUN.

 

FUN !!!  HE SHOUTED I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT FUN IS AS HE SWUNG  HIS LIGHT ROUND IN THE DARK.

 

IT SHONE ON US BRIGHTLY SO WE ALL STARTED RUNNING ACROSS THE CEMETARY PARK.

 

 

    

WHEN WE GOT TO THE GATE HE WAS NEARING US FAST AND WE FOUND THE GATE CHAINED AND LOCKED.

 

ALL OF US LOOKED LIKE DEATH WARMED UP AND WE STOOD THERE JUST TERRIBLY SHOCKED..

 

 

QUICK RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN SHOUTS THE LADS COME ON UP THE WALL AGAIN.

 

MY LEGS WERE LIKE JELLY I SET OFF AT SPEED AND IN MY STOMACH I FELT  PAIN.

 

BODGER FOLLOWED  LIKE WILDFIRE IN HIS HAND WAS THIS GREAT BIG SPADE.

 

HE WAS STILL SHOUTING OUT YOUR ALL FOR IT NOW OH DEAR !!  I WAS SO AFRAID.

 

ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS FRANKENSTEIN ABOUT WHO WE'D LEARNED OF AT SCHOOL.

 

AND HOW MUCH BODGER LOOKED LIKE HIM WE HAD REALY BEEN LITTLE FOOLS.

 

MY LEGS WERE GOING AS FAST AS THEY COULD I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE.  HE-HE.

 

BECAUSE  HE WAS A REAL WEIRD LOOKING CHAP I REMEMBER SO VIVID  NO LIE.

 

I WAS SCREAMING AND MY SISTER WAS CRYING AS THE LADS WERE RUNNING AWAY.

 

BODGER WAS WAVING HIS SPADE IN THE AIR AND I BEGAN TO PRAY.

 

 

SOME RAN THIS WAY AND THE OTHERS RAN THAT WAY I HEADED BEHIND MY SIS.

 

CRYING AND SOBBING I WISH I HADN'T COME I WANTED AWAY FROM THIS.

 

WE GOT TO THE WALL AND WE LEGGED IT OVER RAN DOWN THE BIG MOUND OF TURF.

 

I THOUGHT WERN'T WE  JUST THE HAPPIEST AND LUCKIEST KIDS ALIVE ON THIS EARTH.

 

WHEN WE SAW OUR HOUSE ACROSS THE ROAD I HEARD FATHER SHOUT WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.

 

WELL MY SISTER SHE LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG AND SAID DAD OLD BODGER WE'VE SEEN.

 

GET IN THIS  HOUSE HE SHOUTED SO ANGRY I'LL TEACH YOU TO GO THERE AGAIN.

 

OF COURSE MY SISTER THEN TOLD MY DAD IT WAS ME AND I GOT THE BLAME. HE-HE

 

SHE TOLD HIM THAT I HAD GONE WANDERING AWAY AND THEY HAD GONE OUT TO FIND ME.

 

WHY HE ALWAYS BELIEVED MY SISTER IT REALY USED TO BUG ME.

 

SO I ENDED UP GETTING PUNISHED AND SMACKED BUT  MY SISTER SAID SORRY THAT NIGHT .

 

FOR GETTING ME INTO TROUBLE AS WE CUDDLED UP TOGETHER  IN BED TIGHT.

 

I DON'T LIKE GRAVEYARDS MUCH TO THIS DAY AS THEY BRING BACK THOSE MEMORIES TO ME.

 

AND EVERY HALLOWEEN NIGHT THAT COMES ROUND I THINK OF BODGER  YOU SEE.

 

SO BE AWARE IF YOU LIVE NEAR A GRAVEYARD I HOPE THERES NO BODGER  NEAR YOU.

 

HAVE A SAFE HALLOWEEN AND MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS ARE HUDDLED UP TIGHT NEAR YOU TOO.

 

I DREAD TO THINK WHAT HE WOULD HAVE DONE IF HE'D CAUGHT ANY OF US AT THAT TIME.

 

SO I HOPE YOUV'E ENJOYED KATH'S TRUE  HALLOWEEN STORY  TOLD HERE IN

 

                                                " MY SIMPLE RHYME"

  

 

       

THANKYOU TO DEBBIE OF DEB'S DAB'S FOR THIS GREAT GRAHIC. HE=HE !!!!!

"MY INVITATION"

 

       

                   

WELL I GOT THIS  SPECIAL INVITE THE OTHER DAY FOR CHRISTMAS TIME.

 

SO I DECIDED TO WRITE AND TELL YOU ABOUT IT IN ANOTHER RHYME.

 

I INTEND TO HAVE A BALL AND EAT AND SING TO MY HEARTS CONTENT.

 

AND GET THEM LEGS AND FEET UP HIGH ALL NIGHT UNTIL I'M SPENT.

 

I THINK YOU SURELY KNOW IT WILL BE WACKY WHERE I AM.

 

INSTEAD OF WALTZING SLOWLY  I'LL BE DOING A KNEES UP   "CAN CAN"

 

SO IV'E SEEN SOME OF THESE IN ONE OF THE STORES OUT OF TOWN YES FRILLY KNICKERS HE=HE.

 

                                                    

 

AND I'LL BUY  MYSELF A GARTER I BET PARTNER WISHES COULD  FLICKER.  HE-HE.

                              

                      

IN THE MEANTIME TODAY I'VE PRACTICED REALY HARD THE CAN CAN STEPS.

 

COCKING MY LEGS UP HIGH AS CAN BE   EEH !!   WHATEVER WILL COME NEXT.   HE-HE.

 

IF THE NEIGHBOURS BEGIN TO WONDER WHAT ON EARTHS GOING ON.

 

I'LL INVITE THEM UP TO WATCH ME PRACTICE DANCING TO THE CAN CAN SONG..  HE-HE.

 

FRILLY DRESS AND UNDIES WILL BE FLYING WAY UP HIGH .

 

SHOWING THESE OLD LEGS OF MOTHERHENS  AND MAYBE  A BIT OF THIGH . HE-HE

 

I'LL BE SWINGING AND SHAKING MY  DRESS SO HIGH AND SWAYING FROM SIDE TO SIDE.

 

                      

                                                                 

 

MY PARTNER HIDING AND WISHFUL THINKING  HE COULD RUN AWAY AND HIDE.  HE-HE.

 

BUT TO ME THATS WHAT LIFES ALL ABOUT ISN'T IT AND I'M GOING TO  TRY.

 

IN BETWEEN SIPPING A BAILEYS OR TWO AS MY THROAT IT USUALY GETS  DRY.   HE-HE.

 

OH WHY!!  OH WHY!!  SHOULD I WORRY IT WILL BE CHRISTMAS TIME SOON  AGAIN.

 

AND YES I AM  IN MY RIGHT MIND AND I HAVN'T GONE  INSANE.

 

I'LL BE  READY FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING HOPEFULLY FIT AND FINE.

 

SO I HAVE ACCEPTED THE INVITE TODAY BECAUSE  I LOVE COUSINS  PARTY TIMES. HE-HE.

 

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH WHEN I PRACTICED TODAY  IN MY KITCHEN HERE.

 

I SLIPPED AND TRIPPED ON THE SHINEY FLOOR  AND THOUGHT IT WAS NEXT YEAR. HE-HE

 

WHEN I GOT UP WELL I FELT A DRAUGHT AND WHEN I TOOK A LOOK.

 

I'D RIPPED MY KNICKERS WHEN I FELL AND TORN THE FLIPPING CRUTCH. HE-HE.

 

I AM GLAD I DIDN'T HAVE MY OUTFIT ON OR RUINED IT WOULD HAVE BEEN .

 

WITH THE CRUTCH OF MY FLILLY KNICKERS ALL TORN NOT A NICE SIGHT TO BE SEEN. HE-HE.

 

I'D HAVE HAD TO GO TO TOWN AGAIN AND GET MYSELF SOME MORE.

 

THE LADY IN THE SHOP WOULD  HAVE WONDERED  WHAT ALL THESE KNICKERS WERE FOR.    HE-HE.

 

THEM YOUNG POLL DANCERS DOWN TOWN I'LL SHOW THEM AND MAKE THEM ALL FROWN.

 

COS I INTEND TO SHOW THEM THE OLD ONES LIKE ME ARE STILL THE BEST SWINGERS IN TOWN.      HE-HE

 

        

                 

THE COMPANY WHO HAVE ASKED ME ARE GOOD FUN AND THEY LOVE A LAUGH.

 

AND SAID THERE PARTY WOULDN'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT COUSIN LAUGHING KATH .  HE-HE

 

THEY ALSO SAID IF YOU CARN'T DRESS UP WE WILL ALL OF US UNDERSTAND.

 

WELL WON'T THEY GET A SUPRIZE NOW WHEN MOTHERHEN SHE MAKES HER STAND.  HE-HE

 

FRILLY KNICKERS AND BLACK MESH STOCKINGS RED GARTER ALL THE JOB LOT.

        

A SIXTY TWO YEAR OLD GRANDMA  LOOKING PRETTY HOT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

 

WELL I'M THINKING  "MERRY CHRISTMAS" ALREADY  BUT BEFORE WE GET TO THAT TIME..

 

I'M NOW COMPOSING MY HALLOWEEN STORY TO PLACE IN "MY SIMPLE RHYMES " HE-HE !!!!!

 

     

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

                        

                                          

                                       LUKE 

                                             

   

                                   17-10-91                                                          

     

I'D LIKE TO WISH MY ELDEST GRANDSON "HAPPY BIRTHDAY "THIS WEEK.

 

HE IS LISTENING TO GRANDADS MUSIC HERE HE GOT THESE HIMSELF WELL!!!  THE CHEEK .HE-HE.

 

WE CAME INTO THE ROOM ONE MORNING AND HERE HE WAS LIKE THIS.

 

YOU CAN SEE HOW MANY YEARS AGO NOW WITH ALL THEM LONG PLAYING DISCS.

 

HOW TIMES THEY CHANGE AND YEARS ROLL ROUND BUT STILL TO ME HE'S A STAR.

 

AND HE'S IN MY THOUGHTS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE NO MATTER WHERE HE GOES OR FAR.

 

                

 

FROM ONE YEAR OLD TO A LOVELY YOUNG MAN HE'S ALWAYS LOVING AND KIND.

 

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T SEE HIM ENOUGH HE IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND.

 

            

 

 SO "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" LUKE MY BOY HAVE A BLAST AND I'LL TOAST A WINE .

 

GET SWINGING THOSE HIPS LIKE YOU USED TO DO BACK IN THEM BYE GONE TIMES.

 

THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE THEY WERE WHEN YOU WERE SMALL AND AROUND .

 

SO CHEERS YOUNG MAN I'LL BE IN TOUCH  AND I THINK THAT YOU LOOK  SOUND.

 

I HOPE YOUV'E RECEIVED MY CARD AND PRESENT AS THE POSTAL STRIKE HAS DELAYED.

 

IF IT HASN'T ARRIVED IT WILL BE WITH YOU SOON SO DON'T GET YOURSELF DISMAYED.

 

I'LL RING UP THIS T/TIME WHEN YOUR HOME FROM SCHOOL AND HAVE A WORD OR TWO.

 

SO FOR NOW DON'T FORGET I LOVE YOU MILLIONS AND WISH I COULD BE WITH YOU.

 

GO OUT WITH THE LADS ENJOY YOURSELF AND HAVE THE GREATEST TIME.

 

LOTS OF LOVE AND MISS YOU GRANDSON FROM GRANDMA IN "MY SIMPLE RHYME"

 

             

                 

 

                                          2007

 

BURGLARS FIRES AND AOL.

              

 

 HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER  STORY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED ONE DAY.

 

WAY BACK HOME ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON WHERE I USED TO LIVE MILES AWAY.

 

I HAD BEEN POTTERING AND DOING MY GARDEN  SO I WENT IN TO FILL MY CAN.

 

MY KITCHEN WINDOW LOOKED ONTO THE GARDEN WHEN SUDDENLY  I SAW A MAN.

 

HE HAD COME THROUGH MY GATE AND  WAS NEARING MY SHED IN THE CORNER WHEN I SAW.

 

SO I SHOUTED OUT THROUGH THE WINDOW EXUSE ME WHAT YOU LOOKING FOR.

 

HE TURNED ROUND AND STARTED RUNNING DOWN THE PATH VERY FAST AND AWAY.

 

I RAN OUT OF THE HOUSE TO CHASE AFTER HIM TO LOOK AND SEE WHICH WAY.

 

HE HAD GONE  ALAS I HAD MISSED HIM HE MUST HAVE JUMPED THE WALL.

 

HE WAS OFFSO QUICK I ACTUALLY COULDN'T HAVE DESCRIBED HIS LOOKS AT ALL.

 

SO I LOOKED NEAR THE SHED IN MY GARDEN AND COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I  SAW .

 

THERE WAS A VERYLARGE SPORTS BAG  DUMPED THERE AND I THOUGHT WHATS HE PUT THIS HERE FOR.

 

IT WAS FULL OF ALSORTS OF CLOTHING  AND THINGS WATCHES SOME SHIRTS AND MENS TIES.

 

THEY WERE ALL REALY GOOD DESIGNER  CLOTHES I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES.

 

NOR COULD I UNDERSTAND WHY HE'D COME IN MY GARDEN THESE THINGS TO DITCH.

 

MY PARTNER  SAID I BET HE'S STOLEN THEM THERES A FUTTY MATCH DOWN ON THE PITCH.

 

AND I BET HE'S BEEN IN THE CHANGING ROOMS OR BEEN HANGING AROUND IN THE GYM..

 

LOOKING IN PLAYERS LOCKERS AND POCKETS AND MAYBE THEY'VE  SPOTTED HIM.

 

HE'LL HAVE RUN UP THE ROAD AND INTO OUR GARDEN AS OURS WAS THE FIRST UP THE ROAD.

 

AND  MY WHEELY BIN WAS IN THE GARDEN NEAR THE SHED WHERE HE DROPPED THIS LOAD..

 

HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT WE WERE OUT AND WHEN ALL WAS CLEAR HE'D PROBABLY CALL BACK.

 

WALKING OFF CALMLY WITH THEM ALL IN THE SPORTSBAG I BET HE'D STOLE FROM THE PACK.

 

SO I BROUGHT THE BAG INTO THE HOUSE AND I RANG THE POLICE IN MY LOCALTOWN..

 

I GOT THE MESSAGE SORRY WERE CLOSED FOR EMERGANCY RING CITY I FROWNED.

 

I RANG THE CITY POLICE AND THEY SAID WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU MAM.

 

SO I TOLD HIM  THE STORY  AND HE REPLIED BRING THEM IN FOR US IF YOU CAN.

 

BRING THEM IN I SAID I'M ALMOST A  PENSIONER AND I DO NOT DRIVE A CAR.

 

AND YOUR STATION IS MANY MILES AWAY ABOUT TWENTY FIVE AND TOO FAR.

 

HE SAID WELL I'M VERY SORRY MADAM BUT THATS ALL THAT I CAN DO.

 

IF YOU CARN'T BRING THEM IN WE ARE TOO BUSY TO COME ALONG AND SEE YOU.

 

HE NEVER ASKED ME MY NAME AT ALL AND HE NEVER ASKED WHAT ADDRESS.

 

WELL I THOUGHT THIS SERVICE I GOT WHAT WAS DISGRACEFUL JUST A COMPLETE MESS.

 

I WAS SO DUMFOUNDED SHOCKED WASN'T THE WORD AND THE NEXT MINUTE HE'D HUNG UP.

 

I THOUGHT OF THE GUYS WHO WERE PLAYING FUTTY TO SEE WHO COULD WIN THE CUP.

 

WAS IT THERE GEAR WHICH WAS STOLEN I SUMMISED MY PARTNER WAS RIGHT.

 

ARE THE SERVICES WORTH BOTHERING WITH I THOUGHT TO MYSELF NO NOT QUITE.

 

SO I GOT OUT MY COAT AND I WENT DOWN THE ROAD WITH ALL THESE CLOTHES  MYSELF..

 

SAT ON THE SIDELINE WAS A SUBSTITUTE SO I TOLD HIM  AND HE CHECKED FOR HIMSELF.

 

YES LOW AND BEHOLD THE CHANGING ROOMS WERE ALL A TIP AND MESSED UP.

 

HIS WATCH HAD GONE MISSING SO HE ASKED IF I'D STAY  UNTIL ONE OF THE TEAMS WON THE CUP.

 

I AGREED AND AFTERWARDS THE REFEREE SORTED THE STUFF AND RETURNED .

 

THEM ALL TO THERE RIGHTFULL OWNERS SO I SAID GOODBYE AND I TURNED.

 

THE REFEREE SAID I'LL RING MYSELF TOMORROW  AND DEFINATLY COMPLAIN.

 

I SAID DON'T BOTHER IT'S AN ANSWER MACHINE AND IF YOU GET THROUGH IT'S ALL IN VAIN .

 

FOR CURIOSITIES SAKE NEXT DAY I RANG ONCE MORE TO TRY AND COMPLAIN .

 

YES THATS RIGHT THE SAME OLD RECORDED MESSAGE IS ALL THAT I GOT AGAIN.

 

ARE THEY INTERESTED IN ANYTHING OF THIS NATURE OR BURGLARS THAT BREAK INTO  OUR HOMES.

 

STEALING AND DOING WHATEVER THEY WISH IT'S BEEN EVEN MY GARDEN KNOMES.

 

I WAS REALY REALY DISGUSTED AND THE REASON I'VE DONE THIS POST.

 

IS IV'E JUST READ IN SOMEONES JOURNAL THIS WEEK THAT THERE POLICE STATION HAD NO HOST.

 

AND THEY WERE TOLD TO GO TO THE CITY EXACTLY THE SAME AS ME.

 

I RECKON  IF THIS IS THE SERVICE WE GET IT SHOULD AT LEAST BE FREE.

 

SO IT SEEMS IN SOME AREAS THE SERVICES HAVN'T CHANGED MUCH EVEN TODAY.

 

AS THEY WERE DEALT WITH IN THE SAME MANNER FOR  ALL THE TAXES WE PAY.

 

THEN LAST NIGHT I LOOKED THROUGH MY WINDOW LOW AND BEHOLD I SAW SMOKE.

 

COMING FROM THE COMMUNITY BINS I THOUGHT SURELY THIS AINT A JOKE.

 

THE BINS WERE FULL OF CLOTHING POEPLE HAD POPPED IN THERE.

 

FOR ALL THE LOCAL CHARITY SHOPS SHOES DRESSES ETC TO WEAR.

 

SO ONCE AGAIN I RANG THIS TIME TO THE FIRE SERVICE VERY QUICK.

 

THEY WERE HERE IN TWO MINUTES SPRAYED THE BINS AND OFF WITHIN A TICK.

 

THEY HADN'T TURNED THE CORNER WHEN THE BINS WERE SMOKING AGAIN.

 

SO I RANG ONCE MORE AND WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER ENGINE COMING SAME.

 

WE WAITED AND WAITED THESE BINS WERE SMOLDERING SMELLING AS STRONG AS CAN BE.

 

I THOUGHT OF RUBBER SOULS ON SOME SHOES AND THIS REALY WORRIED ME.

 

AS THESE BINS ARE SET NEAR LOTS OF BUSHES AND THEY ARE ALL DRY NOW IT'S FALL.

 

I THOUGHT IF THESE GO UP AS WELL THEY'LL BE TROUBLE FOR NEIGHBOURS AND ALL.

 

WELL STILL WE WAITIED PACIENTLY AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT YES THEY CAME.

 

AT FLIPPIGN TEN PAST ELEVEN WHEN EVERYONE IN BED ARE THEY SANE.

 

SIREN BLASTING OUT TWO HOURS LATER WAKING THE NEIGHBOURHOOD.

 

WHY DIDN'T THEY MAKE SURE IT WAS OUT FIRST TIME AND DO THE JOB PRETTY GOOD.

 

OH DEAR WHAT ARE THE SERVICES LIKE IT WAS TURNED TWELVE BEFORE THEY WENT.

 

AND I COULDN'T GET TO SLEEP AT ALL THEN SO ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT I SPENT.

 

THEN AOL START THERE TRICKS THIS MORNING AND DELEAT ALL THE POSTIGNS THERE GONE.

 

I THINK I AM PAYING MONEY ALL ROUND FOR NOTHING AND NOT GETTING ANYTHING FROM.

 

MANY OF THESE SERVICES NOWADAYS IT'S A MESS I AM SICK TO THE TEETH.

 

SO MY PADS COMING OUT AGAIN ONCE MORE J/LAND AND I'M WRITING TO ALL OF THESE.

 

AND NOW I'VE JUST READ THEY HAVE GOT RID OF JOE OUR JOUNALS EDITOR AS WELL.

 

ISN'T THAT JUST THE TYPE OF THING WE EXPECT FROM A -O -HELL.

 

I TELL YOU SOME FOLK ARE NOT RIGHT IN THERE MINDS SO MY PEN WILL BE BUSY YOU'LL SEE.

 

WHILEVER I'M ABLE TO STAND FOR MY RIGHTS THEY WILL ALWAYS GET LETTERS FROM ME.

 

SO NOW YOU HAVE HEARD MY STORY FOLKS  I HOPE IF YOU RING ANYTIME .

 

YOUR SERVICE IS BETTER THAN WE BOTH GOT WHICH IV'E WROTE OF IN

 

                                            "MY SIMPLE RHYME."

 

                                        

            

                                          

  

THANX FOR THIS GRAPHIC SUGAR YOU MADE IT JUST IN TIME LOL!! GO THERE SHE HAS MANY THAT ARE BRILLIANT.lol!!!

 

 

" THE FREE GIFT"

       

 

   LAST NIGHT WHILST I WAS BUSY I HEARD MY DOORBELL RING.

 

I SHOUTED TO PARTNER ANSWER THAT PLEASE TO SEE IF GOOD NEWS IT BRINGS.

 

BUT HE DIDN'T SEEM TO HEAR ME SO I GOT UP AND I WENT.

 

TO THE DOOR TO ANSWER IT AND THERE STOOD DES  MY NEIGHBOUR HE LOOKED WELL SPENT.

 

HE WAS PUFFING AND HE WAS BLOWING AND VERY MUCH OUT OF BREATH.

 

THE NIGHT BEFORE I'D HEARD HIM AND HE FRIGHTENED ME TO DEATH.

 

I HAD GONE OUTSIDE TO ASK HIM IF EVERYTHING WAS OK.

 

HE REPLIED OH! YES KATH IT'S MY ASTHMA IT'S SO  BAD TODAY.

 

WELL LAST NIGHT HE RANG FOR A DIFFERANT REASON HE WANTED TO ASK ME.

 

IF I WANTED ANY FRESH EGGS FROM HIM THE REASON BEING YOU SEE. 

 

HIM AND PARTNER JAN DOWNSTAIRS NOW HAVE GOT A LITTLE PLOT .

 

JUST OUTSIDE OF TOWN AND NOW THEY BOTH HAVE BOUGHT A LOT.

 

OF TINY LITTLE CHICKENS AND HENS FOR THEM TO LAY.

 

FRESH EGGS FOR HIM TO DELIVER TO ALL HIS FRIENDS HE KNOWS EACH DAY.

 

THEY HAVE ALSO PLANTED VEGETABLES CAULIFLOWER CABBAGE AND STUFF.

 

LOTS OF FLOWERS HE'D HAD A BUSY DAY SO WHEN HE KNOCKED HE WAS OUT OF PUFF.

 

 

WELL THE STORY I DECIDED TO TELL YOU BECAUSE IT  WAS A LAUGH.

 

WHEN JAN SHE FOLLOWED HIM UP THE STEPS AND I ASKED THEM BOTH INTO KATHS.

 

I MADE THEM A NICE HOT CUPPA AND  WE HAD A NICE CHINWAG SO.

 

I ORDERED ONE DOZEN EGGS OFF THEM BEFORE THEY HAD TO GO.

 

ON LEAVING JAN SAID OH BY THE WAY KATH I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

 

DES WAS DISSAPOINTED TODAY HE'S BEEN FEELING A LITTLE BLUE.

 

AS WHEN HE IS AT THE  ALLOTMENT AND HE GOES DOWN TO THE PEN.

 

HE TAKES HIS EARING AID OUT AT THIS TIME TO BEND DOWN AND FEED ALL OF THE HENS.

 

HE PUTS HIS EARING AID IN HIS POCKET WHILST HE SCATTERS THE MEAL OUT FAR. 

 

AS SOME TIMES THE SOUND IS FAR TOO GREAT FOR HIM FROM ALL THE PASSING CARS.

 

WELL WHEN WE CAME HOME THIS EVENING AND  HE WENT TO TAKE A BATH.

 

HE SAID WHEN I AM WASHED AND CHANGED WE'LL GO SEE OUR NEIGHBOUR KATH.

 

WHILST BATHING JAN  HEARD HIM SHOUTING JAN IV'E SEARCHED ALL O'RE.  (OVER)

 

AND I CANNOT FIND MY EARING AID I MUST HAVE LOST IT ON THE FLOOR. HE-HE.

 

WELL JAN SHE STARTED TELLING HIM IV'E TOLD YOU UMPTEEN TIMES.

 

TO LEAVE IT AT HOME WHEN WE GO UP THERE AND ALL WOULD THEN BE FINE.

 

IT'S ONE OF THE LATEST MODELS SO VERY SMALL IN SIZE.

 

SO SHE TELLS HIM TO BE VERY CAREFULL WITH IT AS IT'S HARD TO SEE WITH THE EYES.

 

JAN SAID TO ME  THE MORAL OF MY STORY WHEN YOUR EGGS ON FRIDAY I  BRING.

 

AND YOU CRACK ONE OPEN DON'T BE ALARMED IF AN EARING AID WHISLES AND SINGS.

 

NO YOU HAVN'T GOT A FREE GIFT IT'S DES'S  EARING AID  HE'S MISPLACED .

 

HENRIETTA THE HEN AT THE ALOTTMENT MIGHT HAVE FANCIED IT AND HAD A TASTE.

HE-HE.

 

WEV'E SEARCHD AND SEARCHED ALL OVER AND NO EARING AID'S  TURNED UP YET.

 

SO ONE OF THE HENS MUST HAVE EATEN IT AND SOMEONES BOUND TO GET.

 

A FREE GIFT IN AN EGG ONE DAY AND WONDER WHERE IT'S  COME FROM..

 

I DREAD TO HAVE TO TELL THEM IT'S FROM HENRIETTA'S BUM. HE-HE

 

SHE SAID TO ME IV'E BEEN THINKING I AM GLAD IT WASN'T SWITCHED ON.

 

OR OLD HENRIETTA WILL BE WONDERING WHERE ALL THE SOUNDS COMING FROM..

 

YOU SEE THE SWITCH IS FAULTY AND WHEN DES HE TURNS IT OFF.

 

NOTHING HAPPENS THE SOUNDS STILL THERE AND HE BEGINS TO SCOFF.

 

JAN SAID HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE IT ISN'T IT JUST A FARSE.

 

IF WE FIND IT AND WE HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE IT WAS UP  HENRIETTA'S   A---.   HE-HE. (EXCUSE ME)

 

THEY NEVER WOULD BELIEVE US KATH WOULD THEY NOW I'M SURE.

 

WELL THEN I STARTED LAUGHING I WAS ROLLING ON THE FLOOR.

 

OH DON'T YOU WORRY JAN I SAID IV'E FOUND WORSE THINGS THAN THAT.

 

I ONCE FOUND A FULL SET OF FALSE TEETH ONE NIGHT AND THEY WERE MOWING MY GRASS HE-HE.

 

SO NOW WE ARE ALL WAITING TO SEE WHO GETS THE FREE GIFT IN TIME.

 

AND I'LL LET YOU ALL KNOW IF IT WAS ME IN MY NEXT  "SIMPLE RHYME "HE-HE.

 

 

                                                    HE-HE-HE!!!!!

 

                                            KATH