"KITCHEN CLOSED"

 

     

IT'S NOT GOOD NEWS FROM MOTHERHEN I HAVE TO TELL TODAY.

 

THE LAST FEW  DAYS FOR ME YOU SEE HAVE GONE WITH A BANG I'LL SAY.

 

I WAS HOPING IT WAS GOING TO BE CHRISTMASTIME WHEN EVERYTHING WENT WITH A BANG.

 

PULLING CRACKERS ETC BUT ROOSTER JUST NOWS A VERY SICK MAN.

 

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED LAST FRIDAY  EVENING WHEN HE WAS MAKING THE TEA.

 

THE FRIDGE IT SMELLED AWFUL AND ALL WAS NOT RIGHT  IT HAD GONE WITH A BANG YOU SEE .

 

I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE LAUGHING HE-HE BUT I THOUGHT OH GOOD I'LL GET  NEW .

 

BUT ROOSTER WAS IN A DIFFERANT MOOD AND HIS FEATHERS FINALLY  FLEW  .

 

WHAT WITH LIGHT BULBS AND NOW APPLIANCES WHY DON'T THEY MAKE THINGS TO LAST.

 

I REPLIED CALM DOWN NOW ROOSTER YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FLIPPING FAST.    HE-HE

 

WELL THEN CAME SATURDAY  AFTERNOON  AND I PUT IN SOME STEWING STEAK  FOR TEA.

 

WHEN I LOOKED AT IT HALF AN HOUR LATER THE OVEN HAD GONE DEAD     HE-HE  .

 

THE THERMOSTAT WOULDN'T LIGHT UP AND SO I GOT JOHN MY NEIGHBOUR DOWNSTAIRS.

 

HE'S A SEMI  RETIRED ELECTRICIAN SO I THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE SOME SPARES.

 

WELL HE TESTED IT ALL AND THE ELEMENTS HAD GONE GOOD GRIEF I SAID LOOK AT THAT..

 

THE FRIDGE WENT FRIDAY TOO JOHN ROOSTERS FEATHERS WILL  DOUBLE FLAP..

 

WHEN HE COMES HOME FROM SHOPPING  TO THIS NEWS THE OVEN HAS  NOW GONE.

 

BUT IF HE STARTS CROWING LOUD AGAIN  I WILL TELL HIM TO WALK  OFF  THE PROM.  HE-HE.

 

WELL ROOSTER CAME HOME SO I TOLD HIM THE NEWS HE SAID OH! GIVE ME A BREAK..

 

I'VE BEEN STARVING ALL DAY AND I  WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT STEWING STEAK.

 

SO HE GOT JOHN TO DISCONNECT THE OVEN  AND WE TOOK IT TO THE SPARE ROOM.

 

I WENT TO TOWN YESTERDAY  TO CHOOSE NEW ONES DELIVERY IS THURSDAY AT NOON.

 

SO NEW FRIDGE NEW COOKER ARE SORTED EXPENSE WE COULD DO WITHOUT.

 

WE'LL BE HAVING JAM AND BREAD NOW THIS CHRISTMAS   INSTEAD OF RAINBOW TROUT..   HE-HE

 

WELL THEN LAST  NIGHT  I HEARD  SHOUTING AND WHEN I LISTENED AGAIN .

 

IT WAS  ROOSTER CROWING HIS HEAD OFF SHOUTING OH! THIS IS  A PAIN.

 

LOOK HERE HE IS YELLING OUT LOUDLY AS I WALKED THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR.

 

A GREAT BIG PUDDLE OF WATER TRICKLING ALL OVER THE FLOORHE-HE..

 

THE FREEZER HAD GONE WITH A BANG AS WELL I KNOW  IT SOUNDS HARD TO BELIEVE.

 

BUT IT'S TRUE FRIENDS IT'S SOUNDS UNBELIEVABLE SO I SAT THERE CRYING AND PEAVED.

I MOPPED IT ALL UP BUT THE GOODS WERE STILL SOLID SO JOHN CALLED  UP AGAIN.

 

HE LOOKED AT US BOTH  AND SAID I'M NOT SUPRIZED YOU BOTH  ARE GOING INSANE.  HE-HE

 

I GATHERED THE GOODS AND PUT THEM IN MY  SECOND FREEZER QUITE QUICK.

 

BUT I STILL NEED ANOTHER TO STORE EVERYTHING SO I HAD TO GO OUT  TO PICK.

 

ANOTHER NEW FREEZER  THIS MORNING FOR MYGATEAUX AND ICE CREAM AND  STUFF.

 

AND ROOSTER HAS GONE TO WORK TODAY WITH THE LIP DOWN AND THE HUFF.  HE-HE

 

SO JOHN SAID WELL ALL THREE APPLIANCES WE ONCE HAD A YEAR LIKE THIS.

 

MY WIFE SHE WAS TERRIBLE ALL CHRISTMAS NOT EVEN A CHRISTMAS KISS.   HE-HE.

 

SO AT 10AM THIS MORNING FREEZER ORDERED I HOPE THATS THE LOT..

 

OR I'LL BE CLUCKING  AND ROOSTERS  A GONNA COS HE'LL END UP IN THE POT.

 

FOR MY CHRISTMAS DINNER AS I CARN'T BUY NEW ALL THESE AND TURKEYS AS WELL.

 

AND THE DELIVERY BETTER BE ON TIME TOO AS  JUST LIKE  AOHELL .

 

THEM HELPLINES THEY GIVE YOU IF THINGS DON'T ARRIVE  YOU CAN GUARANTEE THERE WILL BE. 

 

A MURDER IN TOWN THIS  CHRISTMAS EVE IF THEY DON'T KEEP THERE PROMISE TO ME.  HE-HE

 

SO NOW YOU HAVE IT MY J/LAND FRIENDS WHAT LUCK I'LL GET NEXT I DON'T KNOW.

 

AT THE MOMENT I CARN'T HEAR NO CAROLS PLAYING FOR THE ROOSTER  DOING NOWT BUT CROW.

 

NOT TO WORRY  I STILL HAVE MY  KETTLE FOR NOW AND A CUPPA THAT TASTES REAL FINE.

 

AND I'M LETTING HIM CROW COS MY POOTERS STILL LIVING    AND I CAN STILL WRITE 

 

                   "SIMPLE RHYME"   HE-HE

 

 

 

                                                      

 

                

     

   " DON'T MENTION FLAT APPLIANCES TO ME MOTHERHEN I'M FLAT "

 

        " FLAT BROKE"

        HE-HE HE !!!

             LOL!!!