"SHINE A LIGHT"

 

 

 

 

CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHY ALL THE LIGHTBULBS SEEM TO POP.

 

AT NIGHT WHEN ALL THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED AND YOU ARE OUT OF STOCK.

 

I WENT  INTO THE KITCHEN AFTER DARK AND I SWITCHED ON.

 

GOOD GRIEF THE LIGHTBULB POPS AND THAT ONE NOW HAS GONE.

 

I'D JUST BEEN IN THE BEDROOM  WHERE THAT LIGHT POPPED ON ME.

 

I'M TRYING TO FIND A REPLACEMENT NOW IN THE KITCHEN AND I CARN'T SEE.

 

I FUMBLE ABOUT IN THE DARKNESS SEARCHING FOR ONE AND VENT..

 

THE DRAWER IS EMPTY LOW AND BEHOLD ALL THE BULBS ARE SPENT.

 

I THEN GO TO THE BATHROOM TO SOAK IN ALL MY SUDS.

 

ON ENTERING POP THE LIGHTBULB GOES NOW I HAVE THREE DUDS.

 

I'M SPLASHING IN THE BATHTUB ALL IS DARK NOT BRIGHT.

 

IT'S A RIGHT JOB TRYING TO HAVE A BATH WHEN THERE IS NO LIGHT.

 

THE SOAP I CANNOT FIND IT AND MY FACECLOTHS MISSING TOO.

 

I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL GO ON WHEN I WANT TO USE THE LOO.

 

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SCRUBBING MY LEFT LEG FROM MY RIGHT.

 

I HOPE I DON'T LEAVE MUCK RAWKS COS  IT'S DARK IN HERE TONIGHT. HE-HE..

 

I GO BACK IN THE KITCHEN TO MAKE MY  NICE HOT CUP.

 

OF HORLICKS FOR MY BEDTIME AND THE FRIDGE IT ISN'T LIT UP.

 

THE FRIDGE BULB NOW HAS POPPED ON ME THIS GETS BEYOND A JOKE.

 

I'VE NOT ENJOYED MY BATH TONIGHT IN MY BUBBLES I LOVE TO SOAK.

 

I FEEL MY WAY TO THE LOUNGE AND SAY TO PARTNER THINGS ARE BLEAK.

 

YOU WILL HAVE TO DO SOME OVERTIME EVERY NIGHT NEXT WEEK.

 

HE ANSWERS WHY I SAY TO HIM WE NEED ANOTHER  WAGE.

 

JUST TO RENEW THE LIGHTBULBS AND I'M REALY IN A RAGE.

 

I ASK HIM WHY HE'S SAT IN THE DARK HE ANSWERS WELL YOU SEE.

 

THE BULB IN THE LAMP WENT OUT EARLIER AND HE'D  FORGOTTON  TO TELL ME.

 

I'M OK WITH THE LIGHT  FROM THE WINDOW WITH THAT BIG FULL MOON.

 

ISN'T THERE ANY IN THAT BIG WHITE BOX DOWN  IN THE SPARE ROOM .

 

SO I FUMBLE DOWN THERE AND LOW AND BEHOLD THAT ONE FLIPPING POPS.

 

JUST AS I'M ROUTING ROUND TO FIND THE FLIPPING BIG WHITE BOX.

 

THE QUOTE OF VICTOR MILDREW WHEN HE WAS A GREAT BIG HIT.

 

RAN  THROUGH MY MIND WHAT HE USED TO SAY "I DONT BLOODY BE- LIEVE IT!   HE-HE.

 

PARTNER SAYS I'LL SECURE THE CAR BEFORE I GO TO BED.

 

GUESS WHAT HE'S JUST COME BACK AND HE HAS BANGED HIS FLIPPING HEAD.

 

THE SECURITY LIGHTS GONE OUT DOWN THERE IT SHINES FOR US ON THE BIN.

 

AND HE COULDN'T SEE TO PLACE THE DUDS INSIDE WHEN HE PUT THEM IN.

 

HE LIFTED THE LID WHICH HE THOUGHT WAS ENOUGH BUT NO IT WAS ONLY HALF WAY.

 

AND IT DROPPED BACK DOWN ON HIS HEAD GOOD GRIEF WHAT A FLIPPING DAY.

 

I SAID WELL NEVER MIND DEAR FOR MORNING I WILL MAKE.

 

A CANDLE ON A SAUCER FOR YOU WILL SEE IF THAT YOU TAKE..

 

NO FEAR HE SAID I'LL BE OK! I'M NOT CARRYING ONE OF THEM.

 

I'LL MANAGE THANKYOU I'M NOT LIKE YOU THEY DON'T CALL ME " OLD MOTHEREHEN".

 

WELL FANCY THAT !!! WHAT DO YOU THINK ? HASN'T HE GOT A CHEEK.

 

SO I WAITED UNTIL HE WENT IN THE BATH AND UP ON HIM I SNEAKED.

 

                             

 

                           

IN THE DARK I POURED COLD WATER OVER HIM WITH A BIG CHEESY GRIN.

 

HE JUMPED UP LIKE A CAT ON HOT BRICKS I JUST WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN HIM.

 

HE SAID WHO IS  THAT WHO'S  MESSING AROUND THAT WAS FLIPPING COLD.

 

WELL IT'S NOT "OLD MOTHERHEN " IT'S ME " LAUGHING KATH " AND I'M NOT OLD.

HE-HE.

 

I THINK HE'LL TAKE A CANDLE NEXT TIME WHEN THERES NO ELECTRICITY.

 

AND HE WON'T BE  "RODG THE ROOSTER"BUT "OLD WEE WILLIE WINKY" HE-HE.

 

WELL TODAY I GOT AN ELECTRICIAN OUT  TO CHECK UP JUST  TO SEE.

 

IF ALL THE ELECTRICS WERE OK! HE PASSED THEM AND HE  ASSURED ME.

 

EVERYTHINGS FINE HE SAID TO ME  IT'S YOUR LIGHTBULBS THAT MUST BE  WEAK.

 

SO TOMORROW IT'S A TRIP TO TOWN MY FRIENDS FOR LIGHTBULBS I HAVE TO SEEK.

 

I'VE MADE MY NOTE OF WHAT I'M GOING FOR I NEED TO GET THEM ALL.

 

TULIP BULBS AND RED FIRE BULBS AND PINK ONES FOR THE HALL.

 

HALLOGEN FOR THE BATHROOM AND GOLF BALL ONES THAT ARE SMALL. 

 

A STRIP LIGHT FOR THE KITCHEN AND SOME FOR THE FRIDGE ANALL..

 

WITH ALL THE WATTAGES ON IT THEY WILL THINK THAT IV'E GONE MAD.

 

WHEN I ASK THEM FOR A DOZEN OF EACH  I'LL NEED A FLIPPING BIG BAG.

 

OH AND I NEED SOME CLEANING FOAM AS WELL TO SCRUB THE MUCK OFF THE BATH.

 

WHAT I MAY HAVE MISSED  IN THE DARK WHEN I BATHED COS I'M AS BLIND AS A BAT.. 

 

IF I TRIP COMING HOME AND THE LIGHTBULBS POP IT WILL SOUND LIKE A FLIPPING WAR ZONE.

 

WITH ME LAID OUT THERE SPARKO IN THE GUTTER  COVERED IN GLASS AND FOAM.    HE-HE.

 

I AM SURE TODAY THE LIGHTBULBS DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A LONG LIFE.

 

NOT LIKE THEY USED TO WHEN I FIRST WED AND I BECAME A WIFE.

 

AND I DO NOT LIKE THOSE ENERGY SAVERS THEY STICK OUT ABOVE YOUR SHADE .

 

IF YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR LAMPS HAVE YOU NOTICED SMALLER THEY SHOULD BE MADE.

 

DO YOUR LIGHBULBS MY J/LAND FRIENDS ALL POP AT THE SAME TIME.

 

LET ME KNOW IN YOUR COMMENTS PLEASE IF YOU WILL HERE IN "MY SIMPLE RHYME"

 

 

SHINE A LIGHT    I'LL BE GLAD WHEN I AM LIT UP AGAIN